How to stop attracting men in relationships?

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

How do I stop attracting men in relationships? I’ve decided to stay single for a while because pretty much every man I’ve talked to was in a relationship. I find out in the talking stages and ghost them as there’s obviously no point. My guy friends never tell me what it is, as to why these type of people flock to me. Even at my jobs married men have tried to flirt with me. I find it so annoying. Some advice?

[DishLady]

Ok, so this can be one of 3 issues:


1. Perceived Chippy Factor (🌶️🌶️🌶️): NOT to say that you’re actually easy/slutty, but guys in relationships who are feeling bored or less than perfectly loved and appreciated start fishing for gals who wouldn’t mind being a “side piece” (aka, a little chippy). That’s the gal who wouldn’t mind being the fuck buddy with little to no strings attached bc she knows he’s married or engaged or otherwise committed; she’s “different”… “a breath of fresh air”… “makes him feel alive”… “good for the ego”… (and a million other things along those lines). He’ll keep fishing till you give in…


2. Straightlaced Challenge (🌶️🌶️): You’re super conservative and the boyish imp within the guy dares him to see if he can get anywhere with you. He’s not seriously aiming for you or intending to do much (at least to start with), but he won’t refuse you if you pick up on his flirtatious vibe and flirt back. He’s initially just flirting (and wants you to flirt back with him) so he feels female appreciation (despite his troubles, dad bod, lower affirmation from his wife and kids, etc etc etc). It makes him feel good in that moment but won’t go anywhere (unless you let it). His goal in this is to set the honey trap. He won’t pursue unless encouraged.


3. Chat Magnet (No 🌶️): Some guys sense you’re girlfriend/wife material and presume that YOU are in a relationship and are therefore safe to chat up while they’re waiting for their SO. It usually happens if one or both of you happens to say something funny/intriguing and start chatting them up. When his SO shows up or calls or texts he immediately backs down, talks about her and possibly introduces you to allay any miscommunication about his intentions.


There are variations of these, but those are the most common….

[kylee2437]

It’s quite normal to attract bad people because you can’t ever tell who is good or not for you in the very beginning. The only thing you can do is just make sure you are placing boundaries that you aren’t interested in someone that is in a relationship already. It’s never going to stop, unfortunately there will always be cheaters out there

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

That is true. It takes the fun out of flirting though. I think that’s what kind of deflates my balloon

[Billlewis]

Based on what I've read of your questions and comments, it's going to be very difficult for you, so you'll probably have to let them approach you and then reject them. There are certainly worse problems you could have.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I do. I get a spidey-sense and just wait till boom there’s my proof. Like I just met a guy I thought was cute. My married friend encouraged me to shoot my shot. I did, dude was acting dodgey so I declined going out with him waited about three weeks later and he had a girlfriend. So boring. True. I don’t think it’s a problem so much as a curiosity.

[genericname85]

Either you are attractive or you're not. It's not something you can turn off, if you don't currently need it.

[hanabunny]

It's not your fault girl they should be more clear about already being in a relationship. I don't know why but some men just like to flirt with a girl at work when they're married even if they don't intend to cheat, especially if she's younger. I've had the same problem

[bobalife]

tbf you can't help who you attract, but what you can do is be more selective and set your boundaries. But I understand it is annoying and gross getting that from taken people frequently. I get gross out too when taken people check me out and hits on me. People are gonna cheat, then they will cheat. But it falls on them, not you.

[Nikki1989]

You can't. Most men are cheaters, or at least want to be. Most men that come on all heavy with me are always married.

[Ms_Facesitter]

You don't unless you actively try to look unappealing to the majority of people on earth. Just kindly reject them and keep things short. Be direct and harsher if they don't get the message. You'll get used to it.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't think it has anything to do with you, just a lot of cheating husbands in your area I guess

[Bklynbadboy12]

It's not you it's them. Your doing the right thing when you find out there in a relationship you move on like a real woman should

[DtMe89]

You can't stop attracting something, but, you can just turn them down gently. That's all you CAN do

[Anonymous]

Stop being attracted to those types of men.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I’m not they mostly come to my sphere

[Opinion Owner]

Nope. Until you accept this truth this will continue. These are the guys you see. These guys give you the attention you seek. Stop seeking attention and instead seek a healthy relationship.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I’m not seeking attention like that. I have friends and social media for that. I never really wanted a relationship either. Like I told Bill it’s more of a curiosity as to why this happens. I would rather someone single talk to me for once.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I think I figured it out a little bit anon. I found a thread where someone sounds similar. This is exciting!

[Opinion Owner]

😆😆😆

[NathanDavis]

it's not about you...