How do I stop enjoying attention from other men?

Question

I'm gonna be totally honest here so please no judgement it's just something I can't help as much as I try to fight it. I feel like it's my evil, selfish side that I constantly have to fight. I have a boyfriend of 3 years and I love him very much, he's so sweet and caring. He's almost 29 and I'm 24 years old. He doesn't like going out drinking or partying much and doesn't show me much affection in public. He's very shy in front of others and cares way to much about seeming in control. Were planning on buying a house together and it's something I really want to. I've already moved to his town were I know no one but people at my work and his family. I feel sometimes like I'm settling down too early. When I was a little younger boys didn't want to talk to me and I was considered a plane Jane. Now at 24 I've had abit of a glow up and a lot of hot guys will talk to me now but I just keep them at arms length because I have a boyfriend who I love and respect. But it feels nice being desirable and wanted for once in my life. Without blowing my own trumpet I am a very beautiful girl and I feel like im hiding away from the world. I don't feel young anymore because everyone around me is older but sometimes I just have this urge to get dressed up and go clubbing and dance with a cute boy or two like did before I had a boyfriend. I have no friends my own age and I think a lot of it has to do with loneliness. If there's a guy at work who talks me and I think he's kinda cute. I'll actually start putting in a physical effect to look nice. It's even more of a ego boost to me if he already has a girlfriend which I know is so wrong and I myself hate girls like this. I hate myself for being that girl but I try my hardest to repress that side of me who like "I can take your man if I want to" which isn't ture at all but in my evil side of my head.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

I do not get that. If I’m secure in relationship and that you are not spreading your legs, then go for it.
—Perhaps, I’m as strange as you. It turns me on to see guys neck snap…try to chat girl up while I’m at bar but not standing with her…but watching…getting and giving me the received email address. im a little voyeuristic I suppose.
-OR daisy dukes, crop topped, guys staring at her 🚼…only for her to turn around with Taken in cursive on front of black t-shirt.
—And on “No taken” shirt nights in middle of getting chatted up for me to walk by, she call my name and lunge/hug me…like she’s actually been waiting for me.
WOMEN are DRAMA and each in their own way….
Perhaps, take him out…send him on bar 🍸 or 🍻 fetch.. chat up a guy.. grab boyfriend hand upon return.. pull him into conversation and “ this ‘hasty, nice meeting you” and move the hell in but close.. puppy dog stare into his eyes IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. That would work for me and instill a “ hot and mine” confidence. Might require a reality check for him…and an always go with you change. You probably should expect a little insecurity BUT give him all of you at those times… BUT yes when I have girls night men are men around us…I’m not interested, obviously ‼️

—BUT, I may not be like most men…. I don’t have insecurities like a unexposed shy guy may🤷🏻‍♂️ ACTUALLY, if it gets you super hot and I don’t know who that Freak is…here’s a 💯 for the ladies evening…BUT I MAY NOT BE LIKE MOST GUYS
…but if that is blow job night…and the only nights for BJ, whether it be a chatty guy or I’m with my woman OR GRLS-I give a flying F-

LaNc3L0TT · Accepted Answer

"How do I stop enjoying attention from other men?", unfortunately you can't because you and in that state of mind. It's not wrong, like you said, you are not ready to settle down and you want to have fun in life before all that. Also I think this is a bit issue from his side "He doesn't like going out drinking or partying much and doesn't show me much affection in public." which is creating more pressure in you, because if you are going out together I guess your bond would be stronger. Like I said I do understand you but I think you should also be opened to your guy and to say what's on your mind, all that about settling down this early, etc.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

To a certain extent I think it's fine. I've got a husband I'm very much in love with and committed to. However, I still enjoy it when other men check me out or show some sort of attraction to me. I'm never going to cheat on or leave my husband for any of them, but I still find the attention pretty flattering. I think that's OK.

Anonymous · Answer

By starting the exercise of appreciating yourself so much so that you don't need it from the outside. That is the only way that doesn't require a rationale.

by the way that is what self esteem is. Right now you're using the looks from other men to trigger your self-appreciation. It is all happening very subconsciously. You don't need anything outside of yourself to give you permission to self appreciate. Start giving yourself praise all the time. Sincere praise. And this is the most important part... It has to be emotional. It cannot simply be intellectual praise.

You're welcome, I just hope you actually see this comment.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Hmm, you can’t really stop enjoying the attention. It comes with the territory. But you do have control on whether to act on it. Once you start cheating you won’t be able to stop yourself.
It sounds like you landed a very good guy but you need to really think about whether or not you want to be your your guy for the long haul. 24 is young, but settling down young isn’t a bad thing - I would have loved to find someone when I was younger. As you get older it will be harder to find guys ready to commit and the internet is awash of stories of people who threw away their loving relationships and families for something better and never found it.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Monogamy is NOT NATURAL for us as primate mammalian species. Over 97% of all mammals are polyamorous, with noted polyamory in the other 3%. Our closest Animal Relatives, the Chimps and Bonobos (who share 98% the same DNA as humans) have multiple sexual partners, they masturbate a ton, they do all sorts of sexual acts such as anal, orgies, fellatio, etc..

Sit down and read "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan. You'll realize you were lied to about relational dynamics your whole gawdam life !

boggboss · Answer

Hard to say as it needs to be somthing u have the mental ability to stop craving also maybe working out if you are actually ready to settle down or not

SignedAutographs · Answer

I thought guys and girls could be "just friends"? LMAO

BarryLiverstone · Answer

You don’t. It’s ok for others to give you attention.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

You can't stop people from hitting on you but you love your boyfriend and don't want them

When_It_Reigns · Answer

Imagine if he wrote something like this? How would you feel?

How do I stop enjoying attention from other men?

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