My friend's boyfriend wants me....

[Anonymous]

okay, so I know that sounds conceded, but that's the simplest way to describe my situation. I have not slept with the guy or anything, though the thought has crossed my mind. for the past few weeks he occasionally sends me texts, stops by my house, or gives me "looks" when we are around other people. my friend has even stated that if I cleaned her house, then I could sleep with her boyfriend. crazy I know. here's my big dilemma...i have a boyfriend as well that lives with me, but I feel very unhappy with our sex life and the intimacy of our relationship. after 6 years of not being satisfied sexually, I have thoughts of sleeping with other men to fill my needs. I mean, I'm only human. well, my friend's boyfriend will jokingly talk about sleeping with me (in front of her), and when she is not around, he's very serious about it. part of me LOVES it...he tells me everything I want to hear (like how pretty I am..blah blah - pillow talk I call it). I don't get this kind of positive attention from my bf, so it feels flattering to get attention from another guy. I have no feelings for my friend's bf, I don't want him to leave her for me, or anything crazy like that...but I do think about what it would be like to have sex with him . I'm very curious and now, very confused. I really do want to have no strings attached sex, but not with a random guy I can pick up at a bar. my friend's boyfriend is looking for the same thing...we even talked about the idea of swinging, though I'm not sure all parties involved would like that idea. so both me and him want some great sex that we don't get in our relationships, but we know (or at least I know) how wrong it would be for us to have sex with each other. I'm just battling this sexual frustration and enjoying the new attention that I can't figure out the best answer...another thing, there are kids involved on both sides of the situation, so just breaking up with someone is not a quick fix. any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Wow. That's a tricky one alright.

My first advice to you is you need to talk to your boyfriend (if kids are involved, lets face it should be husband) and talk about your sexual needs. You need to get really down and dirty and discuss what ways you have and haven't f*cked each other. Then (if you haven't already f*cked each others brains out as a result of this sexual exploration) you need to act it all out.

Theres so many ways to have great lovemaking you should never be bored with one partner (unless one or other partner doesn't really care to know the other well enough physically, emotionally and spiritually). If your partner fails to listen, or fails to coorperate, or fails to cater to your emotional needs then your quite entitled to sleep with whoever your liking because he's not been willing to satisfy you. Though you really ought to warn him of this outcome when he's neglecting you to give him a chance to come good lol.

I've only had one partner, and I've never got sexually bored with her (and we made love alot!). That was because I love her deeply and all our sex together was wound around that love (shes not perfect, she's not exactly my ideal, but we are fantastic lovers).

If your partner is no longer willing to or is unable to be "in love" with you.. then all sex with him/her will be boring. No matter how spicey. So anyone wanting you who shouldn't really be having you is going to seem damn hot.

I really hope you can work it out with you "boyfriend" because its always a shame when a couple fall out of love to such an extent.

Remember, you have as much onus on re-ignighting the passion of your love as he does. So pull out all the stops, work together, find a time when your both horney... I suggest you both go without any sex for a month first, so you both gagging for it. It will make it easier to find your right mindsets.

Once you rediscover your love as a couple you'll have lots of fantastic sex... but remember, don't be timid... plenty of foreplay for the girl, lots of teasing for the guy.

Good luck!