I told my boyfriend that my friends are going to go to the city and do Halloween there and going on a pub crawl and invited me And told him what I was going to wear (below pics) - either one
Him - no you're not going, those are slutty outfits Me - but it would be fun Him - i know your friends, i bet they want to go to a club afterwards and drink a lot Me - oh yeh maybe some of them Him - i thought you're over it all since we are in a commited relationship? Me - i am.. fine I won't go then Him - im not being possessive, i won't stop you, but i just thought you're over partying and stuff now Me - yeah i am. Dw.. I won't go then
Why doesn't my boyfriend want me to dress up for halloween?
I don't think it's the dressing up for Halloween that he has an issue with. If you dressed up like Sponge-Bob and are going to a kid-friendly event, he couldn't be bothered. It's the partying, drinking around, dressing in skimpy outfits, getting hit on by guys, possibly flirting with other guys, that he has an issue with. Just curious, why aren't the both of you going to Halloween events together?
had a few boyfriends like this, i totally get where they come from and you have to put yourself in his shoes but at the same time he needs to realize he is your boyfriend and you can wear whatever you want wherever you want, but at the same time you have to respect how he feels
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1. I've seen way worse than these!!! Legit, if worn like the models, the most skin you're showing is three inches of thigh on the first one and the second is totally covered up---like, I could have worn that to my high school for Halloween (and that's saying a lot because they were strict AF about the dress code) 2. So if you've had this convo with your boyfriend prior to this one about you no longer partying or going out like that, and you told him you wouldn't do it, then sure, I can see him being a bit upset that now here you are...but if that convo has never happened, and you've never agreed to chill out, then I'd personally feel like this guy is trying to control me if it were me 3. Being in a committed relationship means you're essentially only wanting to be with that person physically/emotionally...but that doesn't mean you can't go out with friends or ever have a good platonic friendly time without your partner. That's crazy! The implication there is that he doesn't trust you to be able to go out...and not what cheat on him? If you've done it in the past, he probably has a right to worry, but if you've never done anything like that, then he has an issue with jealousy and being controlling of what you do. 4. It could be less about you and more about your friends because it sounds like even you admit they can be a bit crazy. He could genuinely be worried about you going out with them and in that case, kudos to him for caring especially if they are likely to get you into trouble
I think girls and women have to understand, guys and men get hurt as well when you are dressing sexier out in public for other guys to gawk at you. Girls/women get mad if a guy looks at porn or eyes other women right? I know women and girls will say, that's different! I'm not going out to meet guys. But that's the thing, the way you dress can perceive you a certain way. If I went into a job interview wearing sweatpants, would that show the employer I'm interested in the job? Nope.
I don't know your boyfriend but I can understand his point of view, I would probably react the same way. I look at life differently, all my guy friends who distracted me in school or in life I have moved on from them. The most I would do is try to reason and say, okay you can go out but don't drink or go to some shady club with tons of horny guys eyeing girls.
Personally, I don't care about Halloween, I stopped caring about Halloween since Grade 6. I'll just watch Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm St indoors and give candy out to kids and that's it.
I can understand both sides. He doesn’t want his girlfriend dressing up in a provocative outfit which could attract unwanted drunken attention… and because he won’t be there to stop that from happening, that is gonna make him feel uneasy.
But at the same time, he shouldn’t say “you aren’t going”, as if he makes all the choices. It’s not right for him to dictate what you can and can’t do. I also think it’s wrong of him to suggest that you can’t go drinking with your friends occasionally, just because you are now in a committed relationship. So? Why’s that? You should still be able to enjoy yourself.
I think you should choose a more fitting outfit because Halloween is meant for scary costumes not slutty ones. But you shouldn’t be expected to be around him 24/7 just because you are now “in a committed relationship”. That’s stupid. So in my opinion, you need to explain all this to him and then go out with your friends.
It's because groups of drunk girls wearing sexy clothes are going to be hit on non-stop by drunk and horny guys - and drunk girls don't have the same boundaries and decision-making skills that sober girls have.
It's one thing if he was invited along, but you going out drinking with other girls significantly increases your chances of bad things happening. And I don't just mean cheating - I mean fights, sexual assaults, etc. There's a reason this is single-person behavior.
Not that this is even the same, given how much more difficult it is (relatively) for guys to get girls than the opposite, but how would you like it if he was going to be drinking with the guys in bars around a bunch of single drunk girls while you stayed home? Probably not your first choice, right?
I can't speak for you - or her - as individuals, because I don't know either of you. But I have known many a person who, sober, I would never worry about cheating, but when drunk, all bets are off.
Those are far from slutty. Barely showing any skin. If you want to go you go. He can't stop you. He needs to stop being insecure & trust you. Your friends can drink slot doesn't mean you have to. I can see why he doesn't want you being around your gfs.. especially if they're single but it's all about trust... he needs to let you have time with your friends but you need to be fair & not make him feel guilty if he wants to go out with his. Bottom line, do what you feel right. Consider his feelings & talk about it. Let him know how you feel instead of just saying ok, I won't go.
uhm I think it is ok if you go. It only matters how you act.
If you want to go, go. Just keep in mind your boyfriend and should be ok.
I get why he is thinking like that, but I'm sure if u tell him u still want to go party with friends but of course that doesn't mean u will hook up with people, he will understand.
I mean... will you give up being u just for him?
As long as u dont do anything that disrespects u or him, it is more than okay.
I mean I personally am not posesive with my girlfriend but still would make me uneasy as guys would hit on her constantly because most the time party = people looking to mingle and or have sex no?
In my case I'd trust my girl because I know her but most guys aren't like me
Yes I know there are always exceptions to this rule but most people go for that. I mean I know I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend no matter how hot the girl or how drunk I am.
I'm also pretty sure that if you go to a party and see how shitty most guys are it might make you feel lucky that you settled down with your current partner.
This is a subjective matter based on the trust in the relationship. If you trust your girlfriend enough to wear provocative clothing and drink while controlling herself (not flirting with guys) and brushing off guys, then it's completely fine. For me, I would always let my girlfriend do what she wants. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to stop having fun and going out with friends. I wouldn't be in a relationship with a girl I know I can't trust or have any doubts about in the first place. All I would ask of her is to let me know when she's there and when she's leaving.
If someone is saying that to you then you've got a problem. It's blatant manipulation and could be an indicator of something worse. Possibly, the beginning of him isolating you from friends and family. Also fuck the overly jealous types. You need trust for a relationship to work.
Look I can see him being uncomfortable. I think it's bang out of order that he forbid you to go.
But the bit that really gets me is that, he is being possessive. Even without the "slutty" costume the issue here is "I thought you're over it now we are in a committed relationship?" So that means you can't go for a drink with your friends now? You just have to commit all your time to him and him alone? It sounds quite emotionally manipulative there.
I mean how can he say, no your not going. But I'm not stopping you from going? Over it? It's not like your going to a rave every night or anything it's going for drinks with some friends.
Because he's extremely insecure about himself, he has trust issues, and is trying to be a controlling, possessive prick (because of his own insecurities). The question is, are you gonna let your boyfriend dictate what you do?
And apparently the answer is yes. And that's quite sad. But hey, whatever you think makes you happy. I just doubt that it will in the long run.
He's trying to control you and bend the way you think. I'd honestly recommend getting out of the relationship because it will start like this and then get worse. He should trust you enough to know you won't cheat when you're out and that doesn't mean that just because your friends drink, you will be too.
Wow, he sounds like a dick. Those aren't even slutty outfits and why the hell can't you go and party on a holiday? It's not like you're partying everyday of the week, it's a special occassion. He's a total possessive control freak. Not to mention you should absolutely be able to go out with the girls and not ever get any shit for it.
Tell him to get over it or just dump his controlling ass. Life doesn't end because you are in a relationship. If it's a hen party then he should just deal with it. If your friends are bringing their boyfriends then he can either go with you or let you go by yourself. You do not want to be married to this.
He definitely seems like the jealous type but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It shows he's looking after you and doesn't want other guys to be gawking at you. Admittedly he should try to be nicer about the situation. Instead outright saying "No", just say "I don't know babe. Dressed like that with all those guys out there?". Maybe see if he wants to come along and see if that'll change his tune.
I get where he is coming from. Those outfits dont appear to be slutty in my opinion though. Think of it like this, would you be ok with him going out with his guy friends and doing a pub crawl, getting drunk with the possibility of drunk cheating? If you answered that you would not be ok with that, than you should not go either.
He sounds a bit controlling. U just wanna have fun. But it sounds like he doesn't trust u around other men. I can understand the first costume. It's a bit too revealing and sexy. But red riding hood is fine, in my opinion. It's a holiday. You're supposed to have fun. Maybe a compromise? Dress up as red riding hood, and he can be the wolf. And u can hand out candy to the kiddies.
He said go. Just go and it's not that he doesn't want you to dress up. He wants to go out with you instead, but if girls are going out clubbing then perhaps he doesn't want to tag along or he feels un invited. Go out if you want to!!! He legitimately said go out if you want to!!!
I doubt many people would feel comfortable with their girlfriend getting drunk, wearing slutty clothes, surrounded by irresponsible friends and equally drunk strangers. That's a drunk cheating scenario just waiting to happen
So being in a committed relationship means your not allowed to have fun? I say go and have fun with your friends like my girlfriend drinks like sometimes only wine or something I think. She’s not a heavy drinker anyway and she has fun with her friends
If he's not going, then he may worried about: You being in an unsafe area/situation Other guys trying to steal you away while you're drunk Maybe he doesn't trust your friends to steer you away from bad decisions.
It's important to point out that this doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't trust you, just that he's aware alcohol can sneak up on you (or your drink can be drugged like happened to me and my buddies boyfriend one night).
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