Is it weird to date someone younger as a woman?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking with this guy that I met from work 3 years ago. I knew he was younger than me. I was born in 1997 so I'm 27. I didn't know his birth year but I thought he was 25 or something. We get along and he seems mature and intelligent. He's got this young man humor when we talk, which I like because it makes me feel less old. I mean I don't think I am that old but now I checked and he's born in 2001 and we've got 4 year age gap. So he's 23 years old, even younger than my sister.

Is it weird to date him at my age? I'm more close to my 30s and he's more close to his 20's. And I really like him but now I'm worried.

[NamerOfStars]

Worried about... what, exactly? That he'll reject you because of your age? That's not likely; if he already knows and likes you, he won't see that as a problem, or will look past it. That other people will disapprove? Well, that probably will happen, but it always does; there's SOMEONE who disapproves of anything that happens. It's not a big deal. That you'll find out that you don't have all that much in common, being at two different phases of life? Well, that's definitely a possibility, but that's what you date to find out.

So what's the harm?

[Asker]

You're right. I really like him.
Thanks!

[NamerOfStars]

That's the spirit! Good luck!

[BetaBucks]

It's 100% dependent on his maturity level. Guys just mature slower and most guys in their 20s are still at a teenager maturity level. If this dude is squared away and responsible, you'll be fine. Just don't force it if it turns out he's not at the right place for you.

[Asker]

Yes that's what I'm actually worried about. I really don't want to waste my time because I want to have a family some day

[BetaBucks]

Yeah, if family is a near term goal, you want to go older, not younger. If he's a super conservative/traditional/religious guy, then you might be all good. Those guys tend to want to settle down way sooner than other guys.

[Anonymous]

Girl, that's nothing. I'm 40 and engaged to (and impregnated by) a guy 14 years younger than me. haha

Is it weird? I guess that depends on what you mean. If you mean 'unusual' and 'other people are put off by it' then yes, I suppose it is 'weird'.

However, if by 'weird' you mean 'an unhealthy/unbalanced relationship that just shouldn't happen' then it's not weird at all. It's very not weird, actually.

[Asker]

Thanks, i'm glad to hear that!

[alice55]

I don't find it weird but majority of guys don't like it and are turned by off by it or they would just see the relationship as a sexual one.

[Asker]

He likes that I'm older though but I don't know what our mutual friends would think (like colleagues)

[alice55]

Yea he may like it for a sexual relationship is it usually the case, they have a fetish but when it come to actually settle down they may play house a bit but it usually end badly for the woman who lost a lot of time.
Sometime it does end up being genuine (my neirghour are 10 years appart and very happy since more than 20 years) but is it quite rare.

[Asker]

Yea, I know. We talked about such things and I made it clear that I'm not into a sexual relationship and he told me he wants to have a long lasting relationship that'll turn into marriage some day but I'm still worried. My grandparents also had 9 yr age gap, my grandma was 32 and my grandpa was 23 when they got married but times have changed so I don't know now... I hope I won't waste my time.

[alice55]

Things is guy lie a lot especially if they want sex they'r able to give you the biggest lie ever just to convince you to give yourself to him so you may never actually know, I would say best things is keep your head clear and think before acting (think by yourself without seeing him or talking to him a fews days and then see where you stand) a lot of people make descision in the heat of the moment and end up regretting it.

[Asker]

Yeah I never totally believe in what a guy says...
He says he wouldn't do such a thing because he's known me for years and we've worked together and there are a lot of mutual friends around and he's really good friends with all of them
But yea I get it. We'll see... i hope it ends soon if we aren't compatible...

[alice55]

It's better
Keep in mind always keep your head clear and never believe his words always try to search for the true, guys these days are so manipulative to get what they want.

[alice55]

Also if he have many girl number in his phone just forget it because he's a fuckboy, the number of girl he follow / number he have is very important to know as well as his background he is into ONS?

[Asker]

Yea and the thing is age doesn't really matter when it comes to being manipulative. I've been manipulated by guys my age before, one of them even turned out to be a covert narcissist so I always think twice now

[alice55]

A guy younger than me tried to manipulate me though he definitely wasn't good at it I saw it directly he was a joke.
He took me for some dumb girl apparently but his manipulative skills were atrocious
Even some nice guys are manipulative now, they fake being nice (I don't think it's the majority and is more insidious than the player dude but is it very annoying).

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think you are both over 21 and that's all matters, I think you are letting it bother you which I wouldn't do so.

[Apple1996]

Nope it's fine if it's just a 4 year gap

[Staximus]

4 years is not that big of a deal

[Asker]

Maybe when I'm 35 and he's 31...

[Staximus]

It's not a big deal if he acts like an adult and not like a dumb teenager

[Asker]

For now he doesn't and I hope he never will

[Staximus]

You hope he will never act like an adult? That's stupid

[Asker]

I mean for now he acts like an adult and I hope he'll never act like a teenager

[Staximus]

Well then it's no big deal

[Jmmmfi4]

SERIOUSLY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

[Asker]

Really?