Do you think a 17 years old age gap is a lot?

Question

(my English is not good) I met this guy online he's amazing, I like his personality and I think he's cool, (we live in different countries), we've known each other for 3 months now he's 40, I'm 23 he's also serious about this connection and is asking me for marriage, I want to ask if the age gap is too much because I'm worried that it's gonna cause issues in our relationship in the future. Please be honest and give me ur opinions.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

If you want to throw your youth away to an old man then go for it, he will probably never leave you, so that's a positive lol. If you want kids make sure he wants them too because a lot of old guys pretend they do but then tell you "I already have kids and they are grown so I don't want anymore". And check his his history, he really probably isn't that great of a guy considering he is probably divorced and now dating people that are not much older than his own kids. It's creepy. I say anything more than 10 years is too much but even at 10 years you are in different life stages. It can work but considering you are 23 and probably pretty you have so many better options you can take then settling for an old dude from a different country. Don't do it just because he promised you better life because most men can not make you happy, trust me on that!

SeriouslyNotSerious · Accepted Answer

In our culture, it's also normal to talk about marriage early, but I do not recommend that. Especially in LDR.

Just like the other comments, I suggest waiting a couple of years before taking the big step. Age gaps are fine, but marrying too soon sounds like trouble.

Tarifa · Accepted Answer

The age difference is not a problem really, although it would matter less if you were, say, 30 or 35.

What seems a bit odd though is that, as far as I can tell from what you've posted, you haven't met him in person. Get to know him first, see if you are compatible at all before even thinking about getting into a relationship. Talking about marriage at this stage is way too early.

Are there no men you could be interested in where you live now? Age group 25 to 30? You will definitely have more things in common. And what's the future going to be? Are you willing to move and live in his country of birth? It's way too early for you to even consider it. Go slow. If he cares about you, he wouldn't ask for any commitment at this stage.

OfMiceandMen · Accepted Answer

3 months seems to be early for talking marriage. That would be a red flag to me. I think it would be in your best interest to date a little longer to really get to know him. Is it an online thing or do you see each other on a regular basis?

If you only see each other once in awhile, then you definitely need to slow things down.

HawkPerception · Answer

3 months for marriage is insane. The age gap doesn't matter. My friend just got married to a guy 16 years older than her. My cousin is married and has 2 kids with a guy 15 years older than her.

There are also relationships with bigger gaps as well. Stop caring about what the plebs think in society. If it feels right to you, then do it. I would suggest waiting a couple years for marriage though. Get to know the guy. 3 months is too soon in my opinion.

Avicenna · Answer

He’s moving way too fast. If that’s because of his age, then it is a problem. Otherwise, no.

goaded · Answer

Yes, I think it's too much. Maybe not for a short term relationship, but for marriage.

It also sounds dangerous for you. Whatever you do, don't travel to him for your first meeting, have him travel to you and have friends or family with you. Pay attention to what they think of him.

thearchjoker · Answer

It is a lot but not insurmountable. Though it is a little suspicious that he lives abroad and wants to marry you after only three months it

DrPepper12 · Answer

Have you ever seen 90-day fiance? Holy cow You haven't met him in he's discussing marriage and you don't think that's a red flag? 🚩🚩🚩?

Age gap is Fine but some due diligence is in order here!!!

BetaBucks · Answer

It's a bit wide, to be honest. But if he's 100% serious about wanting to start a family, I don't think it's a terrible situation. He better also be fit and healthy. If he's a shot-out, overweight 40 year old, then you have to consider that he won't have the energy for raising kids properly and won't have a long lifespan ahead of him.

Now, if you guys decide to not have kids, then none of this really matters. It's just a relationship, and both of your feelings are all that matters here.

molonski2 · Answer

Its far from too much , for me , its always at least 20 years ( younger ) , I'm not going with some old woman , unless a lot of plastic surgery , super fit , and super sexual. 20 odd years is fine.

Anonymous · Answer

If you are 45 then a guy who is 17 years older is no big deal.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I'd date a 20-year-old broad, which would be a FIFTY-ONE year age gap, so H**L NO !!!

OddBeMe · Answer

For our age, not really. Past 30, I’d say it’s all up for grabs.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. I think any gap larger than 9 years. Is a lot

gorydetails · Answer

yes it is.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Probably yeah

woahhh152 · Answer

Yes, it's a lot

Vegasrunner · Answer

Whole thing sounds fake

Anonymous · Answer

It’s fine

HelpfulWoman · Answer

EWWW

Anonymous · Answer

too small. not big enough.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

It is not too much , marry and enjoy life ,

scott04sa22 · Answer

Don't matter

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