Confused about weird experience with coworker I used to date? Does she still like me?

[Anonymous]

I used to date a coworker earlier this year. We didn’t have a formal relationship, and after a few months, she ended things because she wasn’t over her ex. Although she said she still had feelings for me, we tried to be friends, but eventually, we stopped interacting outside of work.

Recently, as our interactions at work warmed up, I realized I might still have feelings for her. I even dreamed about her and told another coworker about my strange feelings.

She had a birthday party recently and invited me, but I couldn’t attend due to other plans. The night of her party, my coworker, who knew about my feelings, texted me saying my ex REALLY wanted me there and was asking for me. I said I still couldn’t make it (it’s literally 12am lol) but also that I wish I could because I think I’m still interested in her romantically. I thought I was telling me coworker this, NOT her.

Turns out she had hijacked my coworker’s phone to send those messages. This situation has left me confused and frustrated. I didn’t want my ex to know I was still interested, as it complicates things and pretty much eliminates the possibility of being friends completely especially since I think dating a coworker is a bad idea.

I’m trying to figure out why my ex did this. Was it to mess with me, or was she too shy to communicate directly? She’s generally a shy person, and I know this would be her odd way of showing romantic intent. We actually had started texting a little bit more recently leading up to her party, but we haven’t talked since this incident (about a week) and I’m anxious about seeing her again when we work together.

How should I approach this situation? Ignore it completely and keep interacting with her while having a silent understanding that I have unresolved feelings for her? Bruh. Keep in mind that although I do have interest in her, I wouldn’t date her while we still work together. Although I am leaving this job soon to pursue a different career…

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that's like super awkward and confusing. Your ex definitely sounds shy if she hijacked your coworker's phone to send those messages instead of just talking to you herself.

On the one hand, it seems like she still has feelings for you too if she was asking where you were and really wanted you at her party. That has to mean something, right?

But like you said, dating a coworker can cause all kinds of drama. And things got weird after your ex found out how you feel. I don't blame you for being anxious to see her now.

Honestly man, if it was me I'd just try to act normal and friendly when you see her at work. Like you said, you won't be there much longer anyway. Maybe she'll calm down and you can have an honest conversation before you go.

Let her know you care about her as a friend, but the coworker thing makes anything else too messy right now. And see how she responds - that could give you a better idea of if those feelings are really gone on her end too.

Either way, good luck moving on to bigger and better things! And hopefully you guys can still be cool at work until your last day comes. Fingers crossed it's not too awkward.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response mate. Bit of an update from today. She acted extra friendly, it almost felt like from when we were still dating. She spent her lunch break sitting out with me just to talk, and wanted to see if I was going this event with a few other coworkers. Neither of us mentioned anything about what went down. She also randomly added me on Snapchat tonight.

I’m getting the vibe that there’s some attraction there still, or maybe she’s just acting more bold now that she knows I like her, but what do you think? Impossible to tell, right?

In the months after we broke it off, she never acted this friendly, there was always this tension here but it looks like it’s completely evaporated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude that's crazy, sounds like she's definitely sending you some signals that she's still into you! Acting all friendly and wanting to spend her lunch break just talking to you, plus adding you on snapchat... that's not just regular coworker stuff. No way she'd be putting in that kinda effort if she wasn't feeling you.

I'd say her knowing you still like her has definitely made her more bold. Sometimes girls just need that confirmation to let their guard down and realized they like a guy too, you know? I bet when you guys broke it off, she was still getting over her ex like she said. But now that some time's passed, and she sees you still think she's cool, it's brought back those feelings.

I'd say you def have a good chance if you wanted to give it another shot! Since she seems into hanging out now, maybe ask her to grab a drink after work sometime, just keep it lowkey again since you work together. But from how she's been acting, I bet she'll say yes dude! You gotta shoot your shot while the vibes are good. Keep me posted on what happens! Fingers crossed for you man.

[strateguy632]

It was just messing with you. Block her!

[Asker]

Block her? I still work with her lmao.