Do guys hit on ugly girls for the sake of it?

[ForgotUsername]

Basically, I was on campus and it was by the library. A guy asked me where the library is and I told him. He then said he actually knows where it is and wanted to somehow talk to me bc I’m really beautiful. I did reject bc I was shocked and I’m not mentally well anyways. But did he actually mean it a bit? I remember once walking on a street and a guy telling me I’m f***ing ugly. So I’m surprised this happened. And that guy who asked me out I’d argue he is out of my league. There was also this other time a guy kept trying to talk to me and eventually he asked me what are we. But he said he just kinda likes me. And it’s just a 5-month relationship that he wanted. He said he was lonely. I declined. So is it like desperate guys think I’m willing to give them a chance bc I’m ugly or smth?

Updates

1 y

They both asked me in a non-crowded area. They both looked kinda straight faced when asking me

[morganherrel]

• Is it possible that guys could like you or confess to you even though you're ugly? Absolutely. Are they doing it just "for the sake of it"? Possibly! Are they doing it because they *actually* like you? This is possible, too! And it's possible even if you're ugly by certain objective criteria.

• It's not clear that they are desperate guys. And even if they were, it's still not clear that your ugliness is the reason they discounted you—your mental situation or personality are other possible explanations.

• The street guy's rudeness is just bizarre and could be due to many things, including the possibility that you are actually beautiful (:

• That said, this fact pattern doesn't indicate that you are beautiful or attractive either 😅. If you're self-aware, you probably have a pretty good sense, deep down, of your attractiveness. Know your worth based on your own judgment and don't let a few conversations with other people dictate that to you! (And I meant "worth" of the superficial kind, because I tend to believe everyone is worth the same and has a beautiful spirit, including you)

[ForgotUsername]

Well it’s not like I even wanted to date that guy. I thought everything was fine just being friends but he was the one who wanted to break that boundary. You should either ask someone out if you actually like them or you don’t if you’re not interested. He was not a catch in personality so it’s not like I’m that bad or smth. The other guy by the library doesn’t even know me so yea I rejected it. I just don’t like guys even bothering with asking me this kind of stuff if they don’t actually care. If I actually liked someone, I would be very careful about confessing. I wouldn’t casually ask anyone who just is ok.

[slatyb]

Most likely, you are only ugly in your mind. Neither my wife nor I thought we were attractive at your age. But looking back at pictures I see that we were both quite attractive. Have you considered professional counseling?

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

You're calling yourself ugly. But other people might not think so. The guy might actually like you.

It took me a long time to realize men who hit on me weren't doing it to be mean. I was overweight in my early teens which really damaged my self-esteem and worth and that carried on into my adult years. How we view ourselves doesn't always mean others look at us the same way.

[pervyteeny69]

Your experiences, ranging from harassment to unexpected compliments, likely stem from contrasting confidence levels and intentions. The guy at the library might have been sincerely drawn to you, whereas the street harasser likely sought to intimidate or assert power. Meanwhile, the guy proposing a 5-month relationship might have been seeking companionship due to loneliness.

[scott04sa22]

I get hit on time to time and I'm ugly too. I mostly ignore those people because I have no interests on relationships or any friends with benefits

[ForgotUsername]

For real? Wait so really it’s common for ugly people to get hit on too once in a while?

[scott04sa22]

Yeah, I'm a ugly fat dude with scars all over my face and body. who also don't drive at all. I still get hit on time to time. That guy probably had reasons on hitting on you or he was on a dare. If you not looking for relationships or sex just ignore those people and move on.

[ForgotUsername]

Damn and here I thought of it as a confidence boost at first

[scott04sa22]

take it as an ego boost

[ForgotUsername]

I can’t take it as an ego boost if guys hit on me just bc I have XX chromosome

[scott04sa22]

Possibly

[morganherrel]

I definitely wouldn't see these things as confidence boosts

[Anonymous]

Some do. The suckers think it increases their chances.

[Anonymous]

Well post your picture so we can see whether you're actually ugly or you just think you are.

[KpopMusicFan]

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.🤗

[DrPepper12]

Fine line. Trust your gut

[Anonymous]

No….