I'm not her chef, but sometimes she works for me. Very determined, self confident, attractive woman. She accepted the invitations for lunch break with spontaneity and we had very nice lunches. I asked her out and she agreed, but that day she told me she canceled because she told she was sick. Was it a mistake to ask her out so quickly?
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Ah man, that's a tough one. On one hand, it's always cool to shoot your shot you know? But asking out a coworker, especially if there's a bit of an age/experience gap, you definitely wanna be careful. A few things to think about:
- Three lunch dates is pretty quick to ask her out officially. She probably wasn't expecting that and may have felt pressured in the moment to say yes.
- Work relationships can get real messy real fast. Even if nothing happens, people may talk.
- As the slightly older/more experienced one, it's easy to accidentally come on too strong and make her uncomfortable if she's not feeling it yet.
- Saying she was sick is a classic letdown move - she was probably just not ready to mix work and dating yet.
If I was you, I'd back off for a bit. Let things cool down and make it clear you respect her space and career. Don't pressure her or make it weird. Then maybe casually bring up grabbing a friendly drink after work sometime soon to ease the tension. Go slow, let her set the pace. You never know, she may come around once she sees you're a chill dude. But for now, play it cool at work - that's priority one!
What about if she had said her dog just died? Sometimes a reason is just that, a legitimate reason.
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