He cheated help?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys. My boyfriend was extremely drunk the other day, like falling over almost dead drunk. He went out to have drinks with coworkers and a coworker brought him into her car to take a couple shots. She pulled down his pants and hopped on his dick. Immediately after he called me drunk crying telling me what happened. We have a wonderful and perfect relationship and I believe him 100% when he told me this was the only time. We live together and do everything together, he literally wouldn’t have time to cheat. I am willing to forgive, the dashcam footage was sent to me and I spoke to the girl. She admitted to basically taking advantage of him bc he was pretty much asleep in her car. How do I move past this and create a better life together where I’m not sitting and focusing on it? The girl quit her job fyi

so many people will say dump him- but I want us to be better. So does he. How do we move past his. Both of us have been crying 24/7 since it happened.

[avery58]

Ummm... That doesn't sound like cheating to me, it's much worse than that.. he was raped. That girl admitted it herself, to taking advantage of him.

You shouldn't leave him, you should try to support him as best as you can after a traumatic incident like this and let him know that it wasn't his fault and that he's not a cheater just because he was taken advantage of. He'll really need your love, understanding and support.

I think it would be a good idea for you to suggest going to therapy, you both need it (not necessarily couple's therapy, you should do individual therapy over this first) so he can process what really happened to him, get advice form a professional on how to deal with it and start the healing process so he can move forward with his life as best as he can.

[Nikki1989]

Live and learn. Most men are cheaters or have the least thought about doing it.

Note, I said “most.”

[nron987]

I mean, if there was a tier list for cheating, 1 being it’s debatable to even call it cheating, and 10 being the worst cheating ever, bros at a 1. Now that he knows crazy shit like this happens, he should really be more careful, but it sounds like it wasn’t intentional so meh, I’d let it go. Sounds like you have a good relationship, no sense stressing.

[nron987]

I would say moving past it would require him to acknowledge that being drunk leads to things like this, so next time he goes out or whatever, he knows that. And if it happens again it’s a definite issue, but just as a one time thing, just let it go and continue on being happy.

[AviatorTom]

Sounds more like he didn't cheat, she raped him. Based on what's in the description, including him immediately telling you about it (and crying), I suggest you give him a break. He was taken advantage of.

[integrale77]

Sounds very much like he was raped and he's going to need some support to get him through it.

There will be a level of pride he's going to be upholding that
prevents him admitting to being raped.

If there is dash cam footage that you have then keep it safe and if he wants to take that further that would be evidence as to what happened.

I hope you can work through what happened

[28ouc]

I dont see how going out for drinks turns into going to her car for drinks. Unless he went out for drinks, drank some drinks at the bar, and then got into her car for more drinks otherwise he went straight into her car for drinks being sober already knowing it would be a horrible situation. I do not know i cannot even get past the car and the drinking to even answer the rest of the question.

[LiamJHayden]

It wasn't like she slipped him Viagra and then roffied him. Drunk or not, he let it happen. He's a cheater. If you decide to stay with him, you will always wonder if it will happen again.

[LiamJHayden]

roofied.

[BetaBucks]

Would you consider this rape if the sexes were reversed?

[Reijen]

Hypothetical, if you were a male and he was a girl, would you consider it cheating?

[sadstrawberry]

Break up. His intentions are questionable.

[Luckycharms12]

he got taken advantage of

[Awantika03]

Maybe