A guy gave me his number on a dating app. So I gave him mine. I haven't heard from him yet -- should I text him?

[Anonymous]

We were having a good convo on a dating app. At the end of his last message he just texted his number with no further explanation. So I texted my number with no further explanation.

It's been almost two days and I haven't heard from him.

I personally feel like he should be the one to text me -- as most guys would. Should I take this as a sign of disinterest? Or should I text him?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that is such a tough one! Normally I'd say don't double text a guy cause that could come off desperate. But it's still so early on from the dating app exchange that it's hard to say for sure.

A few things to consider - did his messages seem interested before? Was he asking you questions too or keeping the conversation going well? If so, then him ghosting after just exchanging numbers is weird.

On the other hand, some guys just throw out their number hoping the girl will text first so they don't have to make the effort. So it could be a game he's playing too.

My advice would be - give it a liiiittle bit longer, maybe like 1 more day, and if you still haven't heard anything, then go ahead and text him just to confirm plans or ask how his day is going. Keep it casual! That way the ball is still in his court to properly respond. But if you get nothing back even after that, then you have your answer that he's not really interested and you can move on. Good luck girl, hope he gets back to you!

[Asker]

Thanks so much for this answer! It is super helpful.

He seemed interested in the sense that he did ask some questions. He did apologize because he said he didn't check the app very often - but then he started responding more frequently.

From my point of view though -- I sent the first message and he matched with me and responded. So I feel like, I'd like him to send the first text to showcase interest. I also think he could have said "this is my number, I'd love to chat off the app" Instead he answered a question I answered and at the end of the message wrote his number. Not sure what to make of that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah I can see why that would make you question his interest level a bit more. When exchanging numbers, the person who gives theirs first is usually looking to continue the conversation off the app. Him just writing it at the end without any other context is a little odd.

A few thoughts on that situation:

- He may have been shy or unsure how to properly ask for your number, so kinda just threw it out there awkwardly hoping you'd get the hint. Us guys can be pretty clueless sometimes!

- It's possible his interest faded a little once the conversation moved off the dating app. Out of sight, out of mind type thing.

- Or he could be one of those guys that juggles talking to multiple people at once and isn't that focused on any one match.

Hard to say for certain! Given you sent the initial message AND he responded less than enthusiastically with his number, I wouldn't blame you at all for wanting him to make the first text move now. Shows he's putting in same effort level as you.

If you're on the fence about texting, my advice would be don't. Let him come to you this time if he's really interested. That'll tell you all you need to know about his intentions. Don't sell yourself short - make him work for it! There's other guys out there who would be excited to chat you up. Hope this helps give you a sense of what to do!

[Asker]

You're completely right. I think he is talking to multiple girls although he claims to not date a lot. However, I want a guy who puts in more effort. So you're right onward and upward!

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure luv, never settle for anyone who isn't willing to make you a clear priority! This guy sounds like he's playing the field for sure if he's just tossing out his number without any real plan to follow up. You deserve someone who's super excited to talk to you and can't wait to take you out.

Don't waste your time chasing after some dude who isn't that invested. On to bigger and better things! Plenty more fish and all that. Keep your profile up, see what else is out there. Who knows, you might meet someone even cooler just around the corner. Keep your head up! This guy's loss. Bet the next one will sweep you right off your feet if you give him a chance. You got this!

[Asker]

I followed you! Could you follow me back? I wanted to let you know what happened.

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay sure, what is your name so I can know to follow you back

[Asker]

lovishislander

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay I just found and followed you 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

I mean he gave you his number, why did you respond with yours lol. Could have just texted him via his messenger "hey here is anon" or something which would still leave the ball in his field. You make it way to complicated over a simple message.

[Asker]

True. You're right. I did make it more complicated then it needs to be.