Why is my coworker who’s taken so weird with me?

[orirfff]

I’m really pissed off inside. I've never had a real boyfriend. He has a girlfriend right now. Yet when I tried. Awhile ago to distance from him he seemed affected by it and tried to get me to engage with him again. It worked. Lately he seemed nervous with me. It seems he likes me but not saying it. He teased me asking if I’m jealous when he wa texting his girlfriend one time. I didn’t respond. Recently he teased me ‘how you gonna get married if you don’t have a bf’ after I told him I wanna get married one day. Wtf?’

im so angry. People who have. Partner already are the most selfish people ever! They aren’t satisfied with one girl they have to flirt and string along other women? Leave me lone! He always stares at me deeply too at times. I don't know why? Like wtf. Go stare at your girlfriend?

he’s said I look good, etc etc so yes he has flirted before. Don’t say he just want to be friends. It’s not true!

[Finchie40]

You are best to distance yourself from him and do not give him anymore of your time , cuz if he can do that to his girlfriend? Just imagine what he would do to you if you gave him a chance , he’s a player and he shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone period.

[orirfff]

Thanks so much. How can I distance? I have to work as a teammate almost everyday. I guess I have. Hard time knowing how to not get caught up in this delusional idea in my head that maybe he’s a friend who could or does care about me.

[orirfff]

He’s a very insecure Man because insecure guys spend the most energy trying to play women.

[Finchie40]

Just try to ignore him and give him barely any attention , anytime he approaches you , just say I’m sorry I am busy , and then turn your head away from him , he will more than likely get the hint that you aren’t wasting anymore of your time on him , if he doesn’t get the hint then tell him you met someone and he is great You don’t have to be rude to him just ignore him as much as possible

[orirfff]

Thank you so much for these specific ideas! I appreciate you.

[Finchie40]

No problem , I hope it works out for your sake

[osmanthus]

Jesus Christ! This is why I'm happily single. Look, this guy has a girlfriend and he hasn't come up to you to ask you to be his. Don't make the mistake of thinking that this guy is flirting with you just because he playfully teased you about being jealous. Serious. This guy was just joking and making pal-to-pal coworker comments. Nothing more than that. He wasn't egging you on or trying to bash you. Just because you're in the position of being as single as I am doesn't mean every guy you come across is flirting with you. Jeez.

[osmanthus]

I am going to be straight with you ma'am: get over yourself. Not because you're a bad person or that you don't deserve love or whatever you might think but that the situation isn't as bad as it seems to be and this guy isn't likely to be a cheater, so, don't demonize the dude.

[osmanthus]

You're not a bad person is what I'm saying but don't make a fuss or fight over this at work.

[osmanthus]

If he didn't overtly in plain English, in-your-face ask you to be his girlfriend instead, you don't have a viable argument, ma'am. Hands down.

[osmanthus]

At best, you've deluded yourself into thinking he was interested in you because you're upset with your own life being perceptively crumby. I get it, I've been there and done that... I don't blame you but don't go starting trouble where there ain't none.

[osmanthus]

Many times men have said, ignorant, stupid, and loose shit that they didn't give a 2nd thought about in jest, friendliness, etc., and didn't consider how it might be interpreted by a cis-female, and most of the time it's because they didn't grow up with women. Women can make ant hills out of nothing (shit some guy said to make friendly).

[osmanthus]

Now, to you, he probably didn't come off as friendly, but likely to him he was trying to make light of the situation in all probably not knowing how bad you felt about your singleness.

[osmanthus]

Misinterpreting his words as either an affront/attack or some veiled attempt at being a two-timer is just cray, ma'am. There are better things to think about than waste brain cells on this.

[osmanthus]

Now I know why science has said men and woman can be miles apart, mentally. Man thinks a lot less and woman can't turn her brain off.

[osmanthus]

Guy just says one innocuous phrase and a woman gets off on a tangent like unravelling a ball of yarn. Good grief.

[Avicenna]

Keep a professional distance. Don’t play his game.

[orirfff]

Ok. Hat do I do it’s my anger and hurt? I don’t even seek male attention yet they troll me like this guy at work. I can’t escape them cause I’m at work. I tried to distance and I thought he was affected or hurt by it so I came back to be ‘friendly’ with him fuck my life I’m such a fucking idiot I just wanna be left alone. I shouldn’t have let him back in. I wish I could get smacked hard for my mistake. I’m a FUCKING IDIOT.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like what they’re doing violates any halfway decent company‘s HR policies. Can you get help on this from your boss?

[orirfff]

No because I’ll be labeled as a whiner. He hasn’t touched my body or done nothing drastic. I’m going to sound stupid complaining about this shit and it’s partly my fault for entertaining him. I thought he was genuine.
I am so angry and hurt. I don’t even chase men attention yet they chase me and won’t leave me alone why? He’s so creepy. He stared deeply at my face and eyes at times.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like a hostile work environment and harassment

[orirfff]

I’m in pain I just wanna be left alone. Men at jobs always harass me or flirt while taken and play mind games I didn’t ask for. I don’t know what to do. I am so angry

[exitseven]

Maybe he likes you more

[Iron_Man]

Ask him about it

[In_Trance]

Because you're being weird with him