Would you want to be friends with your spouse's friend who is your gender?

[marish01]

I so hope my future boyfriend won't have any female friends. It's a turn off when a man has a female bro.

That friendship dynamic is cringy. In high school it's fine but not after that. What are they gonna talk aboit other than venting? Video games, fashion, makeup food or cars? Lol

If he happens to have a female friend or friends I will tell him he is free to spend his time with her as long as she and I won't meet. I don't want to lose my desire for him.

[Finchie40]

Me personally would distant myself from opposite sex friends’ if I get into a relationship with a girl , out of respect for our relationship, I don’t become enemies with my opposite sex friends’ but I no longer make them a priority in my life , my partner becomes my top priority period. Out of respect for her and I’s relationship. I wouldn’t spend any time with opposite sex friends’ without my partner by my side , and I hope she does the same for me. It has nothing to do with insecurities, it comes down to respect for each other. Some of my opposite sex friends’ and same sex friends’ have tried sabotaging my relationships and tried coming in between by talking shit on my girlfriend , or talking shit to her behind my back , or putting her down or me down behind our backs . So To me that isn’t a friend , that is a toxic friend period , Toxic friends’ will no longer be a part of my life period , A good friend will be happy for you and support you in your relationship, they won’t do anything to ruin your relationship period , they will be respectful to you and your partner. Those are friends’ that you should keep , but toxic friends’ kick them to the curb if you want your relationship to survive and for love to continue to grow between you both , It’s called Respect , without respect in a relationship, you don’t have a relationship period. My ex started choosing her friend over me and made her friend her top priority , why she became my ex , because I dumped her ass for being disrespectful to our relationship. My ex turned into a selfish POS person that only cared about herself and what was best for herself , my feelings no longer mattered to her , she just wanted her cake and wanted to eat it to , So I said Good Bye and good luck with your so called amazing girlfriend that you are probably fooling around with behind my back , she started going on all these trips with her and started excluding me when she never did before , I realized I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with a girl that automatically excluded me from things like I was just a convenience to her , so she became my convenience as well and then I kicked her to the curb where she belongs.

[ohsheeT]

In the beginning of every relationship you will find that a man has a female bro

And in many cases if he's smart he needs to distance himself from her because his new girlfriend is his new bro his partner his girlfriend his lover his best friend and he has to be able to prove that to her by his actions what he says and what he does and not include his female girlfriend it's only out of respect love and trust that he would do something like this


And I don't mean just cut her off I mean have a talk with her and say look it I'm in a relationship now and I love this girl and I hope you understand that for now things are changing because I really want this relationship to work with her so.
There's some things in life we don't like doing but in order to get to where you want to go sometimes you have to do that

[JesseP1nk]

I did exactly what you describe and you know what that female friend did? She started shit talk behind my back to my girlfriend. And eventually girlfriend got tired of it and ended the relationship.

[ohsheeT]

Yeah that really sucks because then you lose both friends LOL

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Of course! I love friends and I have a lot in common with my husband, so I usually have some in common with his friends too :)

There is a few friends of his I don't get on with very well, but that's bc they happen to share all the interests with my husband that I don't, so we just don't have much to talk about lol

[PeachyPie93]

Luckily I never had to deal with that issue since my bfs didn't have female friends. One of them did have work friends who were girls but there was no hanging out or texting happening aside from group chats.

[AviatorTom]

I'd like to be friends with my wife's male and female friends, just like I'd like her to be friends with my female and male friends. That's what friends do.

It's not necessary that we be friends with every friend though.

[HighValue]

Making NEW opposite gender friends when in a relationship is unacceptable. I also don't think people should be friends with their partner's friends anyway. Sure, they can all hang out together to do stuff, but they shouldn't hang out with their partner's friends without their partner because that is more like stealing their friends.

[marish01]

Not stealing but it's like gossipping about them. Like what else do you have in common?

[HighValue]

What I was getting at was that if someone is hanging out with their partner's friends without their partner, the partner doesn't have their significant other or their friends to hang out with so they are alone. It is actually kind of messed up in my opinion.

[loveslongnails]

I AM friends with many of my SO's friends. We even go for drinks or lunch or happy hours (don't know if you have them where you are) in groups with or without our respective SO's, depending on their work schedules! Shocking, isn't it? LOL We talk about anything we want, from books, to music, to world events, to restaurants we've been to, to great meals we've had or prepared, to sports (yes, a few are avid fans of European football) and so on. Uh, no, we don't talk about make-up, but cars come up. One of them is a collector.

I can't even imagine having "only guy friends", nor would I EVER be with a woman who is both so insecure and controlling that she couldn't handle me having female friends, especially ones I've had my whole life, or the spouses of my current friends.

[marish01]

I wouldn't tell him to no longer be friends with his female bros but I would tell him to not acquaint me with them. I said in the description. "I will tell him he is free to spend his time with her as long as she and I won't meet"

[loveslongnails]

I'm aware that you said that. It doesn't mean you're any less insecure, and I'd be surprised if any man worth his salt would tolerate that kind of behavior. To me, that says "I don't care about what's important to you".

[marish01]

How am I insecure? I am not afraif that a female bro can take my man as if he was attractrd to her she would be more than a friend before me. " "I will tell him he is free to spend his time with her as long as she and I won't meet" means he has a personal freedom and personal choice. I won't force him

[loveslongnails]

That I believe you're insecure is based on every conversation we've ever had, and all of your posts, including this one. Stick to my point, which is simply this: You are telling your man " a female friend in your life (maybe lifelong friend) who is important to YOU, is not important enough for ME to be acquainted with... but go ahead and stay friends with her if you want, your choice"

That's emotional blackmail and clearly passive manipulation. I don't expect you dive deeper and look at it. I expect you to rationalize it exactly as you have. That's why I said a man who would tolerate this isn't worth his salt. Any time he might choose to spend time with his female friend, even though you might not even be available yourself, you will find a way to make him feel like shit and you'll harbor resentment --- because of your insecurity.

[marish01]

Describe and define my "insecurity". You did say there are things your SO is not interested but you're interested in.
The same way I am not obligated to be interested in his female friends.
If a man sees it an issue that his woman has no interest in his female friends then it's another reason not to date a man who has female friends.

[loveslongnails]

That's YOUR reason not to date a man with female friends. The woman I'm with thinks "If someone is important to me in MY life, they are important to her too". She doesn't give a shit if it's a male or a female.

You're not obligated to care about his friends. I think it exemplifies your insecurities, which are based on fear, selfishness, and self-loathing about your failure to secure the relationship you want. You will of course DENY all of this, so... there's no point in a discussion. You will say no, I say "clearly, yes". End of that.

[marish01]

Fear of what?
How is it selfish?
How is it self loathing?
How is it failing to secure my relationship?

You list negative things about me without exlaining

[loveslongnails]

LOL I already told you WHY it's selfish. You're flat out telling your "man" that his lifelong female friend whom he deems as important in his life, is NOT important enough for you to MEET. You think you're doing this "great thing" by merely acknowledging her existence and "permitting him" to maintain a relationship of some kind with her. That's your rationalization ; look how understanding I am !!

But your words are contradictions, because your "belief" is really "what can she give you that I can't give you? Why do you need her still, NOW that you have me?" That's your fear, selfishness and loathing all rolled into one, which you will of course, deny and call it your "prerogative". You will tell me I'm wrong, so let's not beat this into ground. That's my observation and what I believe, based on your words. There's my explanation. Moving on.

[marish01]

He has the choice of having a female friend. I have the choice not to have her as my friend.
It is wrong to force me to meet, talk or be friends with people I don't want to.
Not wanting to have my boyfriend's female friend as my friend is as ok as me not wanting to have a male friend

[NathanDavis]

I do get along very well... with the spouses of my friends who are married, but... I am not "good great friends with them"

we're friendly and we get along good, but for my friends, good great friends it is just a completely different dynamic which was forged over the many years

[incorrected]

I don't believe that men and women are ever just friends, unless they're both completely unattractive to one another, in which case they're likely both ugly. There's usually at least some hidden desire on one of their parts.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. I'm not interested in friends. That was for my childhood only.

[marish01]

Exactly my point. I lost my interest in hanging out with my friends since my mid 20s

[EmmaMary]

My husband actually has several lovely female friends who I get on extremely well with... Just like any normal level headed thinking person would.

[Anonymous]

You’re 34. I don’t think you have much of a choice. Ain’t no one really going after women your age so you might want to curb those thoughts about him having demand friends. No I wouldn’t want to be friends w my girl’s friends.

[marish01]

I am open to artificial insemination

[matchrestore]

They aren't my best friends and I don't think we'd hang out without my wife, but I'm friends with two of my wife's male friends.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I have many friends like that.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t like my girlfriend or wife having male friends I don’t trust it

[Berethor]

I am not sure, but it's nice that you decide to allow him to have a female friend.

[DryGermanGuy]

Again with these unrealistic nonsense demands?

[TallAnon]

Not everything in life is about your partner and the gender of your friend is hardly relevant as long as they are fun to be around.

[marish01]

Yes it is also about having kids and career. For me

[Anonymous]

You really love living in your isolated fantasy world, huh?

[marish01]

Yes..

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha! It's cool. It just really comes out in your questions and comments here.

[marish01]

What was unrealistic about not wanting to have male friends?
What was unrealistic about not wanting to talk to. my boyfriend's friends?

[Opinion Owner]

It's not about it being "unrealistic." It's just that no human being who actually operates in the real world and has actually had boyfriends and friends, etc., would ever say that. Like no one.

[marish01]

Yes I am. differemt from. heartbroken bitter people who carry emotional baggage

[Opinion Owner]

Not interacting with other human beings tends to generate a fair bit of baggage as well.

[marish01]

You think I don't interact with any human being if I don't interact with my man's female friends?

[Opinion Owner]

I think you have essentially zero experience with relationships.

[noohair]

I don't know what goes on in your country, but in the US, things are different.

[Liz1990]

Sure if you can’t trust them why are you’s together?

[marish01]

I didn't say anything about trust. If they are friends then he has 0 attraction for them.
So thag trust thing is not an issue at all

[Abbycado]

God you’re insecure.

[marish01]

Being turned of by it is not being insecure

[Abbycado]

Your post screams insecurity. If you want to be a controlling cunt that tells someone who they can and can’t associate with, that’s your choice. I just pity the dumbass that gets involved with such a person. Ffs

[marish01]

You didn't read the description.

[Abbycado]

I read it just fine. You don’t want him to have female friends, which is controlling. Going to mute this dumb shit.

[marish01]

"I will tell him he is free to spend his time with her as long as she and I won't meet. "

[Ariesman81]

@marish01 Ignore her... she doesn't understand that men don't need validation from other women.

[Staximus]

You're not living in reality

[marish01]

Which part is unreal?

[Staximus]

You are a woman of unreasonable demands.

[Staximus]

That's why you're single. If your pictures are actually you, women who look like you are rarely single for long. So that leads me to believe those pictures aren't you or they are and you are a woman of unreasonable demands

[Staximus]

That's why you're single. If your pictures are actually you, women who look like you are rarely single for long. So that leads me to believe those pictures aren't you, or they are and you are a woman of unreasonable demands

[marish01]

I am single for career

[kaucky1]

Not into same gender🤮

[elizamichale1]

Sure why not

[BradleyScheff]

Not really...