Married people, do you care if your partner has friends of the opposite gender?

[Anonymous]

Be honest please.

[CubsterShura]

No. I've been cheated on multiple times in the past and honestly come to radically accept that any grown man who makes me feel like I need to restrict his friendships is not someone I even want to waste my time and energy on to begin with.

Now I do deal with jealousy due to my past traumas and self-esteem issues, but I always just candidly share them with my boyfriend instead of coping with it in unhealthy ways. I trust my ability to identify patterns and if I'm too bothered by him being too close to his female friends while he is aware how he makes me feel, perhaps he's not the one for me.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Nope I don't mind at all. She is free to hang out with whoever she wants.

[msmissydc]

Hahah but lets try to keep the question how it is probably meant: would you care if your partner has friends of the same gender as you?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

She already has friends who are women. They go out all the time for overnight trips. I still trust her explicitly.

[MikeTheBartender]

I am not married but I'll chime in, to me, if they were already friends no problem. When they start making new friends after they are married that's when it gets a little subjective, is it the old man down the block that she helps with his medication? Or is it her hot trainer from the gym? Potential issues.

[strateguy632]

that reminded me of an episode everyone loved raymond. wife liked gym, he escorted and exposed the double standard

[MikeTheBartender]

@strateguy632 lol yep

[Miristheiss]

Casual... sure.

Close friends... alone time with them, lots of texting and deep conversations... no.

[Anonymous]

It’s a bit odd when married people have friends of the opposite sex. I’m married and I just don’t feel the need for having girlfriends - I got that already. I don’t think being married and having friends of the opposite sex automatically makes them a cheater but I have seen married people who have friends of the opposite sex, someone has a fight with their spouse, they get closer together and spend more time with each other, and then hook up. It just seems like more drama to have to deal with especially when you can’t really know people’s true intentions.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

The only logical answer here

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I'm not married but was with a girl for 7 years, and I've never been ok with it.
I didn't stop her from being friends with her work husband, but I didn't like it.

It's not insecurity. Men know how men are. I certainly can't be friends with a girl without at least thinking about having sex with her, and I know I'm not the only one

(She did have a gay male friend though, that was fine lol)

[WanderingLoveWizard]

People are gonna hate me for this, but I've also been that guy who women have cheated with.
So I know just how quickly an innocent friendship can turn to something more sinister.
If I want her, I'm gonna get her.

So if your wife does have male friends, at least try to be cognizant to who exactly that friend is

[PeteA380]

I would not accept my girfriend dating other guys. She could let me date other bachelorettes, but I'd have to be the sole guy of any female's I'd date or be in a relationship with. How comfortable any particular attractive bachelorette would be to be my sole wife or to share me with other bachelorettes or women would be down to her to figure out. The marital home closeness I would not sacrifice under any circumstances.

[Sasha0426]

Let me see if I read this right. She can’t date other men but you can date other women? Isn’t that unfair?

[Sasha0426]

Fuck! I would hate to be married to you. I would ask for a divorce right away. Hell, I wouldn’t even let it get that far.

[PeteA380]

@Sasha0426 and I am neither asking you to nor accepting of vanity and envy pretending to be beauty.
My boundaries are clear and upfront. If I work more as I do, you can be my equal only when you equal me.
No. Other. Guys. Or zero relationship.
Sharing female is hindu and a road to poverty and canibalism.

[Sasha0426]

I rather just kill myself if I was with you.

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Kill yourself then if it bothers

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox Got any tips?

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Yeah, look in the mirror

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox LMAO 🤣 Is that all you got?

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Aww does that make you feel tough? Game on - literally a walking red flag 😭

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox I’m bored now

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox Also, my guy. Are you ok? I mean, I wasn’t even talking to you and here you are popping up out of nowhere bullying me. I literally did nothing to you. Maybe it’s that small dick energy of yours that makes you feel big.

[Sasha0426]

And it’s cool if you hate me because I hate you as well.

[PeteA380]

@Sasha0426 me? I don't hate you. You look quite decent and... good, pretty.

[Sasha0426]

@PeteA380 I was talking to @Inbox

[PeteA380]

@Sasha0426 there is/was no @ inbox there so I replied.

[Sasha0426]

No that’s the username of who I was talking to.

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 I know you’re bored because one look at you and men go in the opposite direction. Trust me sweetheart, I’d rather never have sex again then show you my dick, but such an assumption on your part clearly reflects that IQ - that’s what happens when it’s someone civic duty to bend over as an ass kisser.

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox I seriously have no idea what I did to you. I know you hate me but why? I have no idea. But, it’s cool. I’m the most hated person you’ll ever meet. And I know men do but oh well 🤷‍♀️ And who said anything about showing your dick? No one said anything about that except you 🤣

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Did you have a stroke?

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox I wish I did. So it would end my life.

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Yeah, mental illness runs in the family eh? Here's the suicide prevention number: 988

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox The hell you giving that number for? You told me to kill myself in the beginning. Don’t act all sincere and concerned because I know you’re faking it.

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 Just as you keep saying you'd rather kill yourself and wished you'd die? LMFAO!!! It seems apart from mental illness, brainpower wasn't included LOL

[Sasha0426]

@Inbox Let’s just agree we hate each other. What do you say?

[Inbox]

@Sasha0426 I don't hate anyone, but I'll stop.

[Lliam]

No. We trust each other completely.
My wife has some male acquaintances but she's not looking to hook up. They don't go out partying or anything. It's more related to her job and her political activities.

[mobiusforniner]

I thought this was okay, until i learned it wasn't. Close friends of the opposite gender are impossible.

[msmissydc]

No, not at all. I trust him more than enough. Would be weird to tell him not to have some friends...
Especially after having common friends brought us gogether in the first place.

[Meropatrick]

The other answer would be tie her at home and put her in a cage forever if i want to make sure she stays faithful. No thats not how relationships work. If a partner decides to cheat she would find someone to cheat with a friend or not. I will let my partner live a free life. As long as she is acting respectful and decent she should do whatever she wants. But on the other hand once she betrays this trust she is kicked to the curb

[Sasha0426]

Honestly, I don’t think any human alive should be so strict about having what gender of friends you have. I mean, we’re social creatures, right? However, that doesn’t mean boundaries should be crossed. You still have to responsible.

[richardcory]

No problem at all. My wife has lots of male friends, I have lots of female friends. Its all good.

[jennifer_bloom]

It depends how affirmative his behaviour to me is, if he is always buying me flowers and kissing me and cooking and cleaning and helping, then I would not feel he is cheating, even if his female friends look like holly wood stars.

[provokeesmokee]

Yes, they should.

If someone thinks they can't be friends with people of another gender because "they'll become sexual", they're clearly too immature to be in a relationship.

[madhatters4]

no i don't care if my wife has male friends as long as i trust the guy

[Lliam]

Do you trust her?

[madhatters4]

@Lliam yes

[EmmaMary]

Both my husband and I have many friends of the opposite gender, which makes for a very healthy and trusting relationship.

[Nikki1989]

We both have opposite gender friends. Friends should always remain friends.

[BlackJeep]

That's the reason I'm divorced after 28 years of marriage. I warned her

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, If I had a Wife, I wouldn't care she had Male friends.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

* No, If I had a Wife, I wouldn't care she had Male friends.

[Anonymous]

Six years ago I would have said I don't care. But since then I have been cheated on by two different girlfriends who both said pretty much the same thing: "don't be so dramatic, he's just a friend I've known since we were kids".

[blueonblack22]

What is the definition of “friends” anyway. It’s so loose.

[Sasha0426]

Someone who you trust and doesn’t cross boundaries.

[blueonblack22]

@Sasha0426 no it’s more than that. Men have a sense of loyalty to someone who call “a friend”. It usually takes us much longer to build up that trust.

Women tend to call anybody they had a few pleasant conversations with “a friend”.

[Sasha0426]

I would say that’s not true for me, but I don’t think you believe me. Even I tell you how skeptical I am of people.

[blueonblack22]

@Sasha0426 yes it was a generalization. But men usually have a deeper sense of loyalty to people we call “friends”. We really want the best for them.

This is why it’s so insulting when a women we like asks “can we just be friends?”. It’s a respect issue. More often then not she is asking that for her own ends. She likes the attention and wants to keep the guy around as a resource. She didn’t put in any mental effort to understand the position he’s in. She didn’t consider of what (if any) value she would be to him in that scenario.

I just see women doing this much more often then men. Not all of course. But in general they have self interested reasons for calling men “friends”.

[Sasha0426]

So should I get rid of my male friends then? That would only leave me my female best friend.

[Sasha0426]

Also, if a girl likes a guy but he says the same thing about wanting to be friends, wouldn’t that make him disrespectful as well?

[Asker]

@Sasha0426 for some reason, I believe an average guy could never become “a good friend” with a woman. It he’s just friend, close friend or whatever, he would still be staring at you sexually and would be always looking for a chance. I won’t trust a guy friend.

[Sasha0426]

@Asker What would make female friends any different?

[Sasha0426]

@Asker And let’s say you, yourself, have female friends, do you plan on fucking them?

[Asker]

@Sasha0426 I don’t really plan to do that, but I stare at them and have imagined them naked. Many guy friends do the same. So if we go out and get boozed, I don't know what might happen if she initiates

[Sasha0426]

@Asker Yeah…none of my guy friends have done that. They don’t find me attractive. Besides, my body isn’t that good looking anyway. It’s full of cellulite and stretch marks.

[DextroShade]

It's completely unacceptable, so she doesn't have any male friends. She is also based and knows for herself that men and women can't really just be friends.

[ArrowNik]

No, i trust her (not married though but it's the same with a girlfriend, she has many male friends, some of them I know others dont, but never got "scared")

[exitseven]

As long as they were not former boyfriends or people that she had sex with

[LiamJHayden]

If I were married, I would have no issue. Especially since my best friend since I was four is a girl.

[LazerBean]

Nope.

[Asker]

What if they chat sometimes and go out sometimes

[LazerBean]

They can chat. Going out alone would be weird though

[Akam93]

No I don't care.

[Asker]

What if they chat sometimes and go out sometimes

[Akam93]

I still don't care. They need their freedom.

[SnowedIn]

Not a bit; in fact I hope she does.

[ginger_snap]

No, of course not. They can have friends.

[riverrat3]

I do not pick her friends

[Agape93]

Nope

[LavLavLuv]

Tbh.. I don’t mind

[CrimsonAngel09]

No..

[Karen444]

Yes...