Should I kiss her unexpectedly or not?

[Anonymous]

I good friend of mine is moving away. I probably will never see her again, and that thought really kills me. I have 1 week before she moves away. She is currently with her bestie to say her goodbyes for the weekend. She knows I have feelings for her. I've made it clear that I have feelings for her since she was in a relationship with an narcissist. She eventually broke up with him ( 2 years), known her for 3 years) and when I brought it up again that im really into her few months after, she blocked me for 1 month then reached out again after 1 month to know how i am and how i am doing and said she has been thinking about me a lot.

(I've told her on 3 different times how I feel),

We spoke for about a month then it came up again what I feel and she blocked me for 3 months this time. She recently reached out after the second time she blocked and unblocked me (3 months) and only saw it the day after she unblocked me.

I reached out and she said she was kind of hoping that I would see notice and see that she unblocked me to see if I will check in on her and we spoke for a while and she told me she is moving away. She has no choice. She asked me if we can have a meet up and have a cup of coffee before she leaves.

She has never done this before, as I have always asked her can we get a coffee even before she started dating that narcissist. I agreed and we are yet to set the date, but I am planning on kissing her unexpectedly when I drop her off after giving her a long goodbye hug. I really don't want her to go away. I also don't want to regret not taking that chance of not kissing her. What if that kiss makes her stay. I'm conflicted. I really don't know if I should, where every fiber of my being is telling me to kiss her. Please no trolling, no giving bad comments or advice based on your own hurt because of someone. I really don't want her to move. She is my person. She knows only abuse, heartache and trauma. I've always seen her for her true self. I can't loose her...

[Anonymous]

Well if you don’t want to lose her then don’t be so damn selfish and do something that you know she wouldn’t like. To me you are in severe denial because you are only focused on what you want. If you cared about her wants then you would’ve stopped confessing your love over and over, even after she’s rejected you like you just don’t care. Then to surprisingly kiss her? Like that’s just such a blatant disregard to her boundaries and sexual assault. She wants to keep you as a friend, she cares for you so much as a friend but you make it impossible to maintain that. If you can’t respect her then please stop your arrogance, stop your selfishness.

[Opinion Owner]

If you truly believe she’d be happy for a kiss then so it the right way and ask her. Otherwise it looks like you wanna surprise her because you know otherwise she’d say no and that’s what’s messed up. It’s a kiss against her will and purely selfish.

[Asker]

I see what you are saying, but aren't some people worth fighting for. As I mentioned she knows only trauma and heartache. She doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. She has never had one. I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. I've never given up on her. I've always been there for her. The only one. Even after all the blocking and unblocking. We continue like nothing happened. I care for her beyond what you or anyone can comprehend. If I wasn't restricted in characters I could have given you a full story instead of a summed up version of things that took place over 3 years. It just feels like she is for the first time trying in a subtle way to indicate to me to show to her that she means something to me. She suggested to meet up which never happened before. She keeps coming back to me even if she knows how I feel. And even verbally via voice message said she was hoping I would notice she unblocked me. Why all of this right before she leaves? It can't be just because she is leaving. There has to be reasons behind it.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if she plans on leaving then why not ask you to meet up so she can say goodbye? If you want to fight for her against her wishes then that’s your choice, but to kiss her out of no where given her history of rejecting you then I think that is wrong. It’s sexual assault to be put bluntly since it’s unwarranted, and will only add to the trauma she’s already experienced. At least make your feelings known one final time, so if you two kiss it’s reciprocated. But being kissed out of no where by a man I have repeatedly turned down is not romantic, it’s a violation of boundaries and selfish on his part to basically take what he wants. Please reconsider.

[Anonymous]

What are your intentions towards her? It sounds like u pity her and want to save her. U want to trauma bond with her

[lightbulb27]

tough call, you let us know.

or just tell her you are moving with her if she goes.

[Asker]

Mate if I could move, TRUST me I would do it tomorrow. As a guy you should understand this. That one voice in your head that is guiding you to do something even if it sounds crazy saying it out loud or to others, this is one of them. And she is my person man. I can't let her go. I want to kiss her because I want to give her a reason to stay. To show her im there and have and always will be. I can't let her move.

[lightbulb27]

I know those feelings. If you want me to dig into you so you know whats going on, I can but you may not like the awakening. Girls can do this to you, but it's generally speaking, fantasy. those feelings sound... too strong. I can't help but wonder... because its years and sounds like you got little access to her. Do you even know her, how well? It's easy to have gooey. Loving a person is a choice. It just sounds like... she is a fantasy in your head.

If she is, then stand strong and tall and make your case for her to stay. I've seen a girl kiss a guy when he was running, and it worked.
you will have to decide in the moment...

[CountryWanderer]

Definitely ask her, in the moment. Don't just go for it.

[Selene1600000]

Do not kiss her without clear consent, especially since she has pulled away before when you expressed feelings. Be honest at the coffee, say how you feel once, and respect whatever answer she gives. If she doesn’t choose you, let her go and protect your own heart.

[Anonymous]

You sound very selfish and bitter.

[Asker]

Im not bitter nor selfish. This is the one person in my life that brought me back from a dark place. We have been there for each other in extreme times. we have had moments, intense moments... So before you make your own bitter comments on your own bad experiences, read the post again, I said no trolls or bad comments based on your own sour or bad experiences. I truly feel for her and feel she is my person. But with a history of abuse and neglect and shit you can't even begin to understand, she won't know a good guy with a pure heart thats right in front of her. I can't give up on her. But thanks for your a swell input.