I've been on three dates with a girl I've known for around 3 or 4 months since I frequent where she works. We've hung out a bit as friends before and finally in December I decided to ask her on a date to which she eagerly accepted.
I'm in my late 20s and she's mid 20s.
We've had a great time every time and she's always thanked me and keeps telling me she loves spending time with me and being able to just be herself.
We held hands on the second and third dates as we walked around and did stuff together.
I tried to kiss her at the end of the second date but she got a bit flustered when I asked if it was ok and she shook her head. I took it gracefully and just told her it was okay and we hugged instead.
It wasn't brought up again but it wasn't awkward either, we just continued where we left off. That night she sent me a very heartfelt message about how much she appreciates me and thanking me for going on dates with her.
I thought maybe it's better to not try again on the third date since she seems like the type to take it slow and I didn't want to make things uncomfortable. She's also not had a boyfriend before so I'm guessing also a bit shy or anxious about it.
She loves to hold hands and holds on very tightly when we're walking.
We've been having a great time together, the conversation and laughs never stop and we're clearly compatible, we often make excuses to hang out outside of our 'real' dates too. Generally we go with the flow, enjoy being together and lose track of time.
I'm just a bit anxious about blowing it by being too slow to make any further moves. One of my friends has really got under my skin about it because he's freaking out that nothing more has happened than holding hands yet.
Though I thought maybe it was the right thing to do to take it at her pace which seems a bit more slowly. I don't mind being patient for something more long term either.
We're planning a fourth date soon so she still seems happy to see me.
I contacted her, she told me she's actually free tonight, came to hang out with me and my friends at our weekly drinking session.
Walked her home and decided to just go for it. I tried to do things the way they do it in her culture.(I live in her country and we have different cultural backgrounds). In her country it's important to confess your affection and ask someone to be with you.
So I did that, she gladly accepted and we had a big kiss. I guess we're a couple now.
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1. You can try a full body hug at the end of the date, whisper into her ear that you want to kiss her, then keep yor arms around her waist but pull your face back, look into her eyes for a few seconds, then move forward.
2. As an alternative, you can kiss her on the cheek and let her get accustomed to that, then move forward.
Congratulations on the progress. Let us know what you decide to name the first baby! :) :) :)
Is this young lady from a different backround? Some women from different cultures view dating as very serious and even a prelude to marriage. If it was a date, then she should be expected to be kissed, at least by the third date. Or maybe she does want to take things very slowy. It's good that you both get along so werll and she seems to like you a lot. So let her go at her own pace, but I say by the 5th date, if she hasn't allowed you to kiss her, something is going on. It's up to you to see what it is, if you have the patience. As for your friend, tell him to butt out, so to speak. You're on the date with her, not him.
We are from different cultures, she's from East Asia and I'm Western living in her country. So you're probably right in culture playing a part in it. I've heard they have a confession culture here where you have to basically confess to each other before things can happen. I guess it isn't a terrible idea to ask about it on a future date.
Ah, I thought so. Yes, if she's from East Asia (especially if she is from China, South Korea, Japan, Thailand, etc., then she will have that slow start to any relationship of the opp sex. Those places are culturally imitating or likening themselves to the west but at a very slow pace.
Either wait for her to say somthing or speak to her about it