Is it safe to meet up in a hotel with a man I haven’t yet met but have talked with online?

[Anonymous]

Please read this before answering. We met on a social media (non dating) app. We really hit it off online. Talking all day, up all night, so many similarities, etc. We have exchanged Snapchats and he has sent me videos talking to me. We had phone calls. Things turned sexual, I don’t mind, I want sexual chemistry with someone. I don’t mind sex in the beginning bc it’s an important factor for me. That said, I’ve hardly dated bc I’m very picky. I really like this guy but I don’t have much dating experience. We’ve talked on the phone and he isn’t pressuring me, he has told me he will go at my speed and wants me to feel 100% safe with him. He asked me out to dinner but bc of our sexting we know things will get spicy when we meet. We both can’t meet at our homes for reasons. Am I being unsafe by going to a hotel with him after we meet in public?

[petitedollbabee]

As long as you have a safety plan in place, I see no issue. I have done this myself many times and it’s been fine. With a safety plan, have someone you trust (a best friend or family member) and give them the location of the hotel and what room you’ll be going to. If they don’t hear from you during the night to let them know you’re okay, then ask them to come to the hotel to check on you. You can never be too careful these days.

[Anonymous]

You don't have much dating experience at 30 - 35 years of age, and yet you're sexting with a guy you've never met? I'm calling bullshit on some or all of your story.

Having said that, I'm pretty confident you're much younger than your profile shows, so I want you to be safe. Go on a date with the guy first, NOT to a hotel.

[Asker]

I’m in my 20s, my age on here isn’t right

[Opinion Owner]

That's what I figured, but thanks for confirming. I strongly urge you to meet this guy for the first time somewhere public, and not at a hotel. That's just a big risk.

Good luck.

[BetaBucks]

It's more dangerous than taking things slower. But it sounds like you're both cheating, so it's unlikely he's going to be a kidnapper/murderer or else he wouldn't be creating such a massive paper trail that would destroy his life.

[Asker]

Lol no we live with our parents temporarily

[ClassicDropout]

Realistically, no. Ideally, yes. You're never safe with anyone from the internet, but then again you're not safe with people you met offline either. It's a risk‐reward thing.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. That’s where I’m hung up bc these people exist in real life too. I could have met him at the super market. There’s no real way to gauge if someone is safe or not

[ProbablyClueless]

That's extremely unsafe... "no second locations" is a rule for a reason.

[Asker]

What’s the rule?

[ProbablyClueless]

The rule is exactly what it sounds like: do not go to a second location, especially if it's one that the other person prearranged. You agree to meet somewhere public for the date, then you see what happens. But you NEVER meet the person and then just follow them somewhere else.

[Asker]

But makes it different than going to a second place the second date?

[ProbablyClueless]

Two different dates. Two different sets of plans

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 b**** ain't you ever seen the movie Taken.

[Asker]

She didn’t meet a date in a hotel