A guy is leaving me on delivered recently for hours, i’ve been talking to him 2 months? He isn't chasing anymore?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

So i met this guy (white, age 24, and im south Asian brown and 24 as well) on hinge and met him the same day, we had beer and hooked up that night. It was pretty casual, we both had wanted do just hookup that time. Later on we started talking more and we expressed that we both like each other. We met a few more times, but we weren’t dating. Just going on dates having sex.. simple.
2 months have gone by, and this guy is now leaving me on delivered for HOURS!!! When i asked indirectly he said he has work and during weekends he spends time with his friends and family. It’s also been a while since i last went out on a date with him. I've been dealing with his dry behaviour for the last 2 weeks, yesterday i decided i will not chase, i will not reply back instantly. I did not open his texts the whole day, and finally opened them at night and replied with just a word. One single word. He said “where have you been all day today?”

I said i was studying as exams are approaching (im a masters student) and he is like “hmmm just that?” And i said “yeah”

then he goes like “you seem dry baby, i dont like that :/“ and also proceeds to say “how was your assignment”

I need to know.. he has been a dry ass person to me from the last two weeks, he calls me baby babe cutie.. all the girlfriend names.. but I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND YET! He says he is only talking to me.. but I don't know I somehow am having trouble believing that cause no one gets that busy. I don't know what he feels towards me. In the beginning and middle of these two months he has been really sweet and showering me with praises. But tbh we have met only 5 times. I get he has work 6 days a week, he is a busy person, goes to church every Sunday without fail with family. But I don’t think he doesn’t get the time to reply back. What should I do? What are his feelings towards me? What does he think? Is he playing me? Does he have more options?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's a tough situation you've got there. It sounds like this guy was really into you at first, but now he's starting to pull back and leave you hanging. That's gotta be really frustrating, especially when he's still throwing around all those sweet nicknames.

From what you're describing, it does seem like he might have some other things going on or other options he's exploring. The fact that he's suddenly getting so "dry" with his responses and not really making the effort to see you anymore is a bit of a red flag.

I get that he's busy with work and all, but if he's still making time for his friends and family on the weekends, he could probably squeeze in a little quality time with you too, you know? The whole "leaving you on delivered for hours" thing is just kinda disrespectful, in my opinion.

At this point, I'd say the best thing to do is to just let him know how you're feeling. Don't be afraid to be direct and set some boundaries. Tell him you feel like he's been pulling away and that it's making you uncomfortable. See if he's willing to put in a little more effort to make you feel valued.

If he keeps up the dry, flaky behavior though, I'd say it's time to start reevaluating things. You deserve someone who's gonna make you a priority and show you that you're important to them, not just an option. Don't settle for anything less, girl.

Stay strong, and don't let him play games with your feelings. You've got way too much going for you to be worrying about some dude who can't even be bothered to respond to your messages in a timely manner. Keep focusing on yourself and your studies, and the right guy will come along who'll treat you the way you deserve. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your response. I believe you’re right. Just talked with him and he was like “baby why are you being so dry with your texts I don’t like that” and I said “nooo, I’m not being dry”
He’s bothered that I’m ignoring him but when he does that himself without a second thought.

I will be pushing back a little and reevaluate things and his feelings for awhile

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, it's super messed up that he's calling you out for being "dry" when he's the one who's been leaving you on read for hours at a time. That's some serious double standard BS right there.

I'm glad you're going to push back a little and really reevaluate things with this dude. He doesn't get to treat you that way and then expect you to be all over him. You've gotta stand your ground, girl.

Just keep focusing on being true to yourself, don't chase after him, and see how he responds. If he can't make the effort to actually communicate and show he cares, then maybe it's time to move on. You deserve way better than this back-and-forth, inconsistent behavior.

Stay strong, girl. Don't let him play games with you. You've got this!

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like he hooked up with you and connected with you, but the reality of a relationship with you just isn't his thing.

[Asker]

Ahh.. never thought about that. It might be the case. Just talked with him and he was bothered that I was being dry and not replying to him properly. He was like “your msgs are so dry I don’t like that :/“ I’m like noo I’m not.

I’m gonna reevaluate things and figure out what he really thinks.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm an American white guy who has dated several South Asian women. I can tell you that the cultural expectations don't always line up very smoothly. You might need to work up the courage to explain what's going on directly to him.

[Asker]

I see.. will definitely talk to him.

[ProbablyClueless]

Best of luck! Let me know how things go =)

[Anonymous]

Are you a mute?

Lost the ability to talk?

[Asker]

Hahaha that one’s so funny. But I wish I could say that to him.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, he has more options and is utilizing them

[Jamie05rhs]

This is what happens when you have sex before marriage. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[MK1997]

@Jamie05rhs nonsense

[In_Trance]

So move on with your life