As a guy who wears a wig due to alopecia-when should I share with a date? I’m comfortable right away but feel it’s a 2/3 date in talk?

[Anonymous]

Lost my hair to a telogen alopecia at 17, I'm a pasty white man and tanning isn't a thing for me. I've got a massive birthmark of my scalp. It's so frustrating because every other part of me I like and I take care of myself but the reality is I don't look good bald. I just don't. My alopecia thins hair diffusely so I still have eyebrows, they are thin but it's not noticeable. Facial hair is noticeable (also bald and beard combo aged people like crazy an I'm just not a fan) a year ago I began getting full custom male wigs and the tech has come a long way. I'm open about it to everyone close and coworkers etc. everyone was impressed with how it looked. My attention from women skyrocketed. My confidence didn't change, my social habits didn't. Just the hair.

I'm not going back, I don't care if some fragile view of masculinity some others posses say a guy can't wear a wig, screw that. It's no different than fake teeth or makeup or extensions etc. transplants aren't options for most men, treatments have low success rates and overall while many guys look fine shaved, many more simply don't. I don't know where as a society we decided bald men were okay to mock and then mock more for doing steps to rectify it but I don't give a damn. I'm happy with the wig.

Anyway, I'm curious when to share with dates. 26 now, and I'm thinking date 2/3 depending on how it goes. I think it's something that is best brought up early so someone doesn't feel like I hid it but also not first date material (I have eczema too, and don't feel the need to share that)

So I'm curious on your opinion of when I should share and also how you'd feel about it, please note I'm happy with having hair so you're not going to dissuade me on that front. But honest feedback otherwise.

[Abbycado]

I don’t think that needs brought up right away because you want her to judge based on personality.

You can mention it later. That isn’t an icebreaker for a date.

[Asker]

That’s why I figure 2/3 dates in not the first one. I don’t want to wait so long that they think I “kept” it from them.

Honestly how would you react? Would it change how you seen the guy?

[Abbycado]

No, it wouldn’t because he was being honest. The connection is worth more if it is good.

Now, it is all about the right time to bring it up. It should be brought up when the context fits, not just oh by the way type of thing.

[Asker]

Really so it wouldn’t affect your attraction? Even knowing it comes off at night to sleep?

[Abbycado]

Nope. If you’ve got me into bed, you’ve done so many other things right. I’d be giving you applause at that point.

[Asker]

Really? So even seeing him without it to sleep and put it back on in the AM isn’t a big deal? I thought women would be more against it!

[Abbycado]

Read what I wrote dude

[Asker]

No no I’m just saying I appreciate the feedback and I’m glad to hear people are open to it 😊

[Nikki1989]

There is no right or wrong answer here. Ultimately, the best approach is to be honest and authentic. Choose a time and place where you feel comfortable having the conversation.

[Asker]

That’s why I figure 2/3 dates in not the first one. I don’t want to wait so long that they think I “kept” it from them.

Honestly how would you react? Would it change how you seen the guy?

[MK1997]

You look great

[Asker]

Thanks! Honestly would it turn you off knowing the hair is fake if it was shared a few dates in?

It does come off to sleep. Please be honest! You wouldn’t hurt my feelings I appreciate honest feedbavk!

[MK1997]

No I wouldn't be turned off

[Asker]

That’s good to know! You don’t think it’ll be a big issue with women our age then in general?

[Anonymous]

wouldn't bother me 🤷‍♀️