Is it normal to feel nervous to go on a date and do things other than hang out and sex with a guy when that’s all we’ve ever done?

[Anonymous]

We met over a year ago and had no intentions of falling in love. He was set on moving to another country for work. But we hung out at his place, talked and laughed and played games and had the best sex. Eventually it had to end.. he moved but after a week moved back home because it didn’t feel right there (his words). We saw each other off and on again but he said he still had to focus on his career and didn’t want complications because he may have to move if he’s hired. Before meeting me he had plans to travel a ton and live elsewhere because he hated our cold winters. Now, after a year of us being back and forth I think we’ve accidentally fallen in love. We can’t say goodbye even though we’ve tried, it’s so intense between us and whatever it is, it’s real love. So.. He began to say things like it wouldn’t be so bad to live here, he’s finding accommodations to stand the winter. Now, he decided to stay and is applying to work here.

So now we’re really going to give us a proper chance and do normal couple things… like go on actual dates, but I’m afraid of doing things outside of just hanging out in his apartment and sex because what if it isn’t the same? Will it be the same? If we get along so well in his apartment will the dates go well too?

[SladeTannon]

If you can't get along in public, it's not going to last as a relationship in the first place, so all you're doing by delaying that if you're also exclusive is spending time not meeting someone you'd be in an actual relationship with, and it will eventually lead to one or both of you getting hurt.

Just don't put expectations on it. It might not be the same as when you're alone together, and that's ok.

[Discombobulated_Dove]

Yes, it's *always*okay to feel whatever you happen to be feeling. We've got no control over our feelings, only our behavior. And by the way, it sounds like it was just meant to happen this way. Congratulations to you both! 🎉 Accidentally falling in love is the best way to find a real connection. It's called "falling" for a reason... embrace it, as long as it's healthy and makes you happy. ❤