Are some guys only good enough to be placeholders?

[Anonymous]

Like I have very limited dating history and the girl that finally did say yes for most of the relationship seemed like she was embarrassed by me and never had pictures with me on her social media so it got me thinking what if I’m only supposed to keep the seat warm for someone else maybe by myself I’m simply not good enough

[LeatherDame]

It might be more that the intention wasn’t long term? Or that things were casual since that was how you two worked if there were some comparability issues.


Like there’s lots of men I could play with, less that I would go on a few dates with, a few who I could date for a long time but at the end of the day there’s only a few men that I would consider marrying. They’re all good men, just not necessarily a good fit for me/where my life is at or going.

[Asker]

This was a 2 year relationship that I put my everything into often sacrificing even when she wouldn’t sacrifice

[LeatherDame]

Sounds like the feelings weren’t very mutual and she wasn’t willing to compromise for it.

Says more about the dynamic than about you. You two probably just weren’t very comparable.

[Asker]

But that’s where I became bitter because if that’s the case why stay in the relationship to drain what you can get from it. Her life is completely different now then when she met me it’s the things I provided. When she was nearing her degree I was ultra aggressive In helping her look for her job which she landed I even had my number save so if they left a voicemail she would get it. I co-signed a car that she took for herself. Without my income she wouldn’t have qualified. At the end of the day the only thing I got out of the relationship was trauma because she was physically and verbally abusive

[Zack-Bann]

Do you realize how pathetic that sounds?


Im not saying that to attack you, just making a point.


You only feel that way because you feel inadequate.
You can’t even show the account you’re using on this site even though it’s already a fake name


This is a self fulfilling prophecy. You feel inadequate therefore you become inadequate.


And eventually the girl will grow tiered of reaffirming her love to you over and over and will leave.


Your solution is a personal one. You have to to level up as a person
Get in shape, go to the gym.
Go back to college and get an even higher degree of education.
Land a job or a start a business that truly has you sitting proud.


Just change the habits and break the status Quo
Eventually the girls dating you will wonder of they are placeholders themselves

[Anonymous]

It’s quite sad how guys devalued themselves because women and girls can’t make decisions or have absurd high expectations, even girls on social media and on this site in their 20s or younger or even in their 30s will insult guys and degrade them but the minute you stand up for yourself as a guy they’ll call you a simp, an incel or some other stupid term. Femcels exist to so it’s hypocrisy when women and girls today say males hate females when I’ve seen more females hate males which makes me question them as daughters to their fathers. Stop caring what a girl thinks of you, if girls today disrespect God, why would she care about you? Unfortunately this is how it is but I’m not giving power to a female to dictate my life, she ain’t worth my time or effort, no time for trashy people in this world, life is too short for that.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

it's not that y'all r
only good for that

y'all r just always used
for it

it's not ur fault
even the girls u date
can't find their own type of preferred guy

it just means nobody wants them either
because of their crummy personality

[BetaBucks]

Yes, both men and women use people as placeholders. That's not for sure what's happening now, but she likely has low interest in you. All women are willing to take an upgrade, but your woman is most likely actively looking for one.

[BlackRose97]

I've definitely been with guys and known that it wasn't going to work out. I'll keep my options open at that point, but never would cheat or anything.

[Nikki1989]

Whether you are a placeholder or not is totally up to you.

[Zack-Bann]

Simplest way to put it 👌🏼

[debtfree_oneyear]

How? You can't make a women like you.

[Zack-Bann]

Its not about making her like you.
It’s about valuing yourself enough not to settle for “placeholder status”

Respecting yourself is the only anyone else will feel compelled to respect you

[Anonymous]

that's the unfortunate truth for the majority of men whether they see it or not

and if you dare stand up for yourself, suddenly they're an entitled abusive asshole

[Queenofhypotheticals]

I mean if they don't do what they need to do but you getting something out of them till better comes then yea. The same wa they treat us. But I'd personally rather not have u around me if I have to tolerate you

[CarolinaGirl5]

The real question is why is your selfesteem so low that you would tolerate such treatment? Ask yourself that

[shades777]

Yea been there, best way to prevent this is picking women who pick you. Otherwise you might or definitely will be one

[debtfree_oneyear]

Dating is hard

You can be a great guy with a good job, your own car and a nice play to live and still struggle to get a date.

[egdev5]

I feel that bro. Is because woman have more options, they don't realize how much we'd like to go on a date. But I'm not sure what they are waiting for?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the cowards that go anon.

Yes, I get the irony here, but come on. Be a man ffs.

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

Least you can do is own your opinion. Nah you're a coward yourself. I'm calling it out

[BetaBucks]

Why does it matter that he's anon?

[zagor]

Put zero stock in anything to do with social media.

[Anonymous]

I guess it's sad but true. I know how you feel. Girls can be cruel.

[paledreams]

I'd rather be a cup holder 🥤 ☕

[paledreams]

Cup holder me 😂 lucky me cup 🍵

[LiamJHayden]

If the guys allow it then it can happen.

[Anonymous]

Unlike men women don't settle down...

[Crazzyyworld]

well everything is about sex for sure

[Crazzyyworld]

nothing personal

[Anonymous]

Stop chosing the wrong girls

[paledreams]

There's many bad apples true that lady 🙃😀💎🍎🍏