Why are guys so slutty and never actually good people? How do people end up in relationships when the options are just assholes?

[Anonymous]

This isn’t me going for only attractive guys this is who approaches me considering I’m not rejecting or friend zoning anyone. I’ve only rejected guy recently and he was about 5”4 and fat. The guys who approach me are pretty attractive but they’re too slutty and sexual too early on. It’s like they don’t have morals, self respect, or have any basic religous.

I’m not asking for a nun just a guy whose not going to make it obvious he’s trying to sleep with me first date, I’m not that kind of girl. I will ghost any guy who mentions anything sexual that isn’t boundaries first conversation because I find it dickish.

It’s really disappointed because sometimes they’ll be guys who seems kind of fun or interesting but I just hate that type of mentality and it also shows you’ve done this before many times which I find really unattractive. How do people get into these cute relationships when the only options are guys like this?

[DarkWinterNights]

Could be a lot of factors:

The signals you’re putting out
The places you’re meeting them
The methods you’re meeting them
The city/state you live in


I’ve know a few in the past, but I know very few men that are that way. Most who are looking for a relationship aren’t going to try to hook up with you. Also men worth dating are probably not going to be on dating apps, or in clubs or bars. Not sure where people meet these days but it’s probably best if your friends set you up with someone. Church is also always an option.

[Asker]

I don't club or use dating apps or go to bars. I'm 19 and I genuinely believe guys just don't even speak to women first unless their players because players are the only ones with any confidence. I rarely ever have men come up to me in public at all if ever and most advances I'll get will be through Instagram the same goes for all my female friends. My church is all much older people. I'm genuinely stumped. Relationships now just seem like pure luck I honestly can't even imagine how people are finding boyfriends let alone husbands.

[DarkWinterNights]

Yeah I’ve never cold approached a woman. Even when I was younger before dating apps were the norm. Instagram is basically the same thing as a dating app and I doubt peoples intentions are any better. Churches are still probably where you’ll find the best guys, but most are the older crowd- or already married, a lot of younger people are drifting away from religion and tradition.

I do think luck has a lot to do with it now. Even if you find someone you get along with, the likelihood you’re actually compatible is low. But we’ve really become a very anti-social society.

You could always try asking one of your friends about their brothers or brothers friends.

[Asker]

I wish any of my friends had brothers. I guess I'll just wait it out. Thanks for your opinon

[DarkWinterNights]

I’m sure you’ll find someone. You’re pretty based. Just stay true to yourself and your values.

[normalice]

Hard to say. This wasn't always the case but social media has turned newer generations into psychopaths, frankly. And I wouldn't have a clue how to navigate it.

[Anonymous]

We can tell when you lowkey hate men and will avoid you.

[Asker]

I don't dislike men. I just don't want to date a guy who sleeps around. Most girls my age don’t approached either though. Even when you go out you'll rarely see it

[Opinion Owner]

"Why are guys so slutty and never actually good people" is very telling. I'm sure you slip up and say shit like this IRL or you post about. It doesn't make us want to get to know you because you hate us and it also shows you're unintelligent.

[Opinion Owner]

Girls like that are exhausting. The moment we get into any fight about anything, it's going to be "you're a terrible person just like all men"

[Asker]

I can't slip up and tell a guy something man hating if I don't speak to any men? Like I said I don't hate men I don't like slutty (men who sleep around) men. I do consider men who sleep around bad people because I think their moral compass is flawed. I do not feel lmthe same way about other decent men. If you read the post you'll see I like quieter nerdy men but sadly their taken pretty quick. Once again it's kit just a me thing, I've had this conversation with tons of other girls who will say the same thing, guys our age don't start conversation or approach.

[Opinion Owner]

I stopped reading because of the way you worded your question. See how that works? The moment you start generalizing we stop listening.

With how quick women are to throw around the word "creep" is being thrown around, men are becoming less inclined to approach women.

[Asker]

You're saying men are specifically avoiding me when I've told you this is a wide phenomenonn and using my anon question as a example. Clearly I'm not this blunt in person or going to speak about men in real life? Also when did I ever mention calling men creeps? I don't know where your getting the idea that I insult men and say all men are bad. Just like most men can voice their opinion about hating fat women or slut women can't I just be allowed to not like men who sleep around? We can both say what we want let me say I don't like sluts. It's really not that deep

[Opinion Owner]

I said you're title was generalizing men so I stopped reading.

I said men are approaching women less because so many call everything sexual harrassment.

[jahaims]

Guys you attract *

[war_daddy]

they have sex

[Asker]

I’m not saying im never going to sleep with these guys I just don’t want some type of sexoholic asshole trying to hit on the first date. It’s shows you don’t value sex or getting to know people you just want to get off. I don’t respect or consider that type of behavior in men I’m dating. Trust me the happiest most wholesome “I wish I had that” couples aren't the ones who met on a dating app and fucked the same day.

[war_daddy]

the only people using dating apps are only looking for sex

[Asker]

I never said I used dating app I'm saying those are the people who end up in shitty relationships. Even outside of dating apps these are the men who approach me though