I told my guy friend that I had no feelings and I ended up kissing him so why do I feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

So last weekend my guy friend joked that I was his girlfriend after my dad asked if he had a girlfriend. Yeah we were joking but that made me uncomfortable. That was when he and his mom came to visit. I know I’ve been single for a while and I haven’t dated since I was 21. I’m 25 now.
My guy friend has been texting me a lot and send me have a good day beautiful which is very sweet.
So he and I met up and discussed about what happened. He said he knows we’ve never really dated and went to the school dance together as friends but he said he only asked me because I’m way more beautiful than the other girls at the school and wasn’t interested giving other girls a chance because he only liked me. He understood I wanted to go with other guys but he always asks me to go to prom because he likes me a lot but was too afraid to ask me to be his girlfriend.

He admitted he was jealous when I went to the prom with my crush but my crush kept leaving me to hang with his friend and abandoned me. My guy friend said he would NEVER abandon me and that guy wasn’t right. He admitted that he’s seen guys that come in and out of my life with someone dumb treat me horrible or always likes my petite friends. Never understood some guys like me. I was never a fit person, tall, chubby and plus size. Most of my girl pans are slim, petite or average size. Average height.

My guy friend is 6’2, overweight but he’s losing weight and not in the best shape but he’s a sweet guy but I see him as a friend.

He admitted that he wasn’t joking about saying I’m his girlfriend because he’s in love with me. BIG TIME.

I was mind blown. My friends and peers were right! He does like me. I was about to tell him I only liked him as a friend but he kissed me.
Then seconds later I ended up kissing him back. I didn’t pull back. We ended up making out at the park. Why did I do that?

Updates

1 y

I’m 5’11

[RichA322]

Let's get to the point:

If you are single your options are:

1) If you absolutely do NOT want to give him a chance or you are 100% (100% not just 90 %) sure that you don't have any feeling for him at all. Like you are, with absolute certainty sure that you don't return the feelings and you never will.

• End the friendship there and then. He has already fallen for you. And he is just staying around to convince you to give him a chance. If he means anything to you, whether it is as friend or as a potential boyfriend. End it, There and then. Completely. No friendship, nothing. End it completely. Otherwise he will not able to move on and waste his life waiting for a chance from you that will never appear. And when he realises this it will break his heart a million times more violently that just ending the friendship today. He is just sticking around waiting for you to give him a chance. And he will try it again. More or less like in those cheesy TV Love sitcoms... So You must tell him that there will never be anything and that you are ending the Friendship because you don't want him get any false hope of getting you.

2) If you are not sure (which is basically almost what you described with "why did I do that?") when YOU Kissed him back...

• Give him a chance and try the relationship and start to date him. You either have or you are about to get real feelings for him or You are just trying to convince yourself that you don't, because your brain/your best friends/you neighbors/Your dog/social Media/whatever, etc, etc. tried to talk to you that "he is not your type" "You deserve someone better" you know that typical bullcr*p tips. While your body obviously want to give in and is ready to give it a try. Otherwise you would NOT have returned the Kiss. Why would you return a Kiss? A hard slap in the face and an immediate "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way. Never do that again!" Or Slap in the face + "Never do that again !" is what would normally be the appropriate action. You you not only allowed him to kiss you. YOU also KISSED HIM BACK? Why TF would your body even give you that reaction instead of slapping him for kissing you? Your body and your heart probably already know that you can trust him and that he will treat you good. You are just afraid of Jumping into a Date and a potential relationship with him, because if it doesn't work the friendship is over, too.
• But the harsh reality is, Your NORMAL friendship is over anyway. He already sees you in a romantic way and keeping him around for a friendship will just break his heart, because he will keep sticking around trying to get more. And whenever you date another guy it will destroy him even more. So the "just-Friends" Phase is over anyway. You might as well try it with attempting to date him and try to get a relationship with him. You can't loose anything anymore, the situation is already a 100% or 0% situation from what you are describing. Otherwise he (or both of you) will be stuck in an awkward situation like in those cheap TV Love Dramas, where all viewers know it's either all or nothing for both of them, but the actors are oblivious to the fact.

So you can only go "All in or Nothing"

So Option 1 or Option 2. It's to you to decide.

[Anonymous]

Because you're a flake. You don't want him. But you enjoy the boost to your ego it gives you. But you're not so completely horrible to not understand how that's not the act of a friend.

[Asker]

A flake? What the fuck idea that suppose to mean? My ego? What the fuck? You better explain yourself please! I don’t have a big ego!

[Opinion Owner]

You think you don't but you do. You can be narcissist and still dislike yourself you know.

[Asker]

That makes absolutely no sense

[Opinion Owner]

That's because you've got a bit of maturing to do. If and when you do you'll understand.

[LeatherDame]

Sounds like you friendzoned him, he refused to listen and kept pushing and you finally caved.


How do you feel about dating him now? If you still don’t like the idea it’s time to lay down some firm boundaries with this dude and start pulling away if he won’t respect them.

[Asker]

We’re not dating! I told him why did he kiss me and he said because he’s in love with me and I kissed him back.

[LeatherDame]

Ok, then tell this creep to leave you alone. He’s not respecting your boundaries.

[jahaims]

You though good morning beautiful texts are normal from a friend? Lmfao

[Asker]

We’ll it isn’t but come on