Do you think it’s appropriate to always tell your partner that you have other admirers?

Question

My boyfriend always says “I’m so handsome” “a few girls want me”, “I have other beautiful female admirers”.  I feel so sick of it and I think it’s toxic

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s disrespectful that he tells you that , especially if you aren’t saying those things to him , so you are best to reconsider that relationship , because he is clearly manipulating you , by making you feel like you are lucky to have him and that you better be a good girlfriend to him , or he will leave you for one of those girls’, only immature selfish people say shit like that to their partners’ , so if you want to stay in a relationship with an immature guy that’s clearly up to you , but you are best to tell him to go for it, because you want to be with someone that is more mature and respectful to you. I have dumped girls’ that have said shit like that to me , basically implying they could have any guy she wanted and telling me guys’ are checking her out and hitting on her , and they said , am lucky to have her , I immediately said No I am not lucky whatsoever , I am completely a dumbass to be with someone like you so I need to find a more respectful one and dumped their asses and showed them the door. When a partner can easily be disrespectful to you for no reason at all? That’s your answer to kick them to the curb where they belong , Selfish immature people have no right being on a relationship with anyone. They are manipulative disrespectful selfish bastards that have no respect or dignity for anyone but themselves , They do not know how to give the same way they want to receive , they thing the world revolves around them , You aren’t being loved girl , you are being used as a convenience to him. Kick him to the curb

michalpl00 · Accepted Answer

No filter here is my opinion, As a guy it would feel good to say it because then I know I have my opinions and the attention would feel good. But it would be disrespectful to say it so I wouldn’t. In fact I would block all girls who say stuff like that if I am serious about you. But I would expect you to do the same and not text with other guys as well. But if you would not block them I wouldn’t keep texting other girls and not care. See if I am serious about you, you become my one and only. I cut out all girl friends because I am done looking and only need attention and validation from you. If my girl would come to me and say I have cut out all my male friends. I would marry you in the near future. That is The hottest thing a girl can do. To show that you are my only one. I would die hahaha literally. Male friends are okay if the are not single or has ever shown interest. And if they are not close and not snapping everyday like my ex did. I stopped everything for her and she wouldn’t. I should have broken up because she left me. Now if you show me that you are serious I will be serious too. If you dont care, I won’t care either about you. I don’t need attention from other girls. If you need attention from other guys I can’t treat you seriously. Never making this mistake again. It’s all about respect. I can’t respect you if you disrespect me and the relationship.

rosemilk · Accepted Answer

have you told him how that makes you feel? you need to speak up. because this is not right of him to do, especially since it makes you this uncomfortable. i also think you need to really think about how he acts as a person. always saying "i'm so handsome" is a bit of a narcissistic trait. so watch out for that.

NewWaves · Accepted Answer

That's... weird.
Honestly, I'm a brat. And I'd tell him every single time "Good for you! ☺️"
I'd go as far as get him a card about his being the most attractive and admired by women man on earth.
Or get him a shirt that says "ladies love me" or something.

ohsheeT · Answer

Wtf. That is probably one of the rudest things that I've heard in a long time

And I would think that he knows what he's doing but why is he doing it

I mean that is just so rude and uncalled for you and I don't like games

But I think if I was you if you have a brother or sister tell them to call you at a certain time and just blow up your phone every time you hang up call back and just keep blowing up your phone you'll see a couple things and then you'll hang up they'll call back

And your boyfriend will say what's going on who is that you say I am so beautiful I have so many admirers see what he says

Well I don't know if he's just joking around or if he's being serious but that's just on possible I don't know how long the relationship would last if that was happening to me and she was being serious I would just say go for it dude I'm busy LOL

texascollegegirl · Answer

I love the fact my boyfriend knows so many men want me so badly for sex. It's good for him to feel insecure and to know in his heart I'm having them. At the same time, that's only because that part works for me. It works for him, too, but I'd do it even if not because I don't mind a one-sided relationships. I love him tons but if he did what your partner did, I'd drop him and not look back. I'm sorry he's making you feel bad. The thing is you need a perfect match. With some girls, that means saying exactly what your partner is saying to you because they want their partner to attract other girls, or sometimes even to sleep with them. But that's not what you want. They key thing is to find compatible interests sexually, in terms of attraction, and in the rest of the relationship.

aquamoon · Answer

It's not necessarily inappropriate to mention that you have admirers to your partner, but constantly rubbing it in and reminding them can be disrespectful and potentially toxic. It's important to have open and honest communication in a relationship, but constantly pointing out other people's interest in you can create insecurities and doubts in your partner. If your boyfriend's behavior is making you uncomfortable or causing jealousy, it's important to communicate that to them and establish boundaries.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I wouldn’t say it’s def toxic behavior unless I knew more of the context it’s said in but it could be. Also , it tells me rather ironically that he is likely under-confident and actually feels threatened by his lack of control in your relationship. It’s certainly not appropriate behavior and quite unhealthy. I would certainly challenge the behavior if I were you , perhaps verbally poke light-heartedly at him for saying that perhaps saying “well don’t you want to be with me? “ and see how he reacts?

BetaBucks · Answer

I don't know, but my wife constantly tells me about every guy that flirts with her (except the ones she likes) but flips out if I even mention any slight interest from another girl. I just learned to stfu about it and not tell her about most of them anymore.

Ms_KnowItAll · Answer

I do think its toxic because it's meant to evoke a feeling/reaction from you.
However, some men believe that you will look at them as being 'higher value' because they have options.

In any case, I would suggest you speak with him about it. Tell him how you feel about it and hopefully he can see where you are coming from.

overlord337645 · Answer

sure its alright if your a total jerk and are minipulative see he is telling you this because he wants you to think if you break up with him he has other options to deter you from doing so but rather this leads you to feel your being treated unkindly

lorenzomichael · Answer

Absolutely not. You need to tell him to stop with that shit or you’re just going to leave him. Who wants to be with someone when there always saying dumb shit like that? I mean when I get compliments for my smile or the blue eyes I just say thank you and go about my business. I don’t run home and tell my wife. In fact, I don’t even bring it up.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

If someone else had romantic intentions toward you, it would be nice to let your partner know about it, so s/he won't think you're doing anything behind his/her back.

But your boyfriend isn't doing this to reassure you. He seems to be doing it to make you feel insecure, which is an a**hole move on his part.

It might be time for you to reevaluate your relationship.

kajsvjsion · Answer

i think he's either trying to show he has options or just bragging. not sure how you put up with someone like that😭 you could be petty and start doing similar to him.. like buy urself a bouquet of flowers (or just one is fine too) and say someone at work (or uni.. whatever your occupation is) gave it to you😆

molonski2 · Answer

Depends if its truthful , but he sounds like an arrogant fck , who I would certainly dislike , wonder why he does that? Insecure probably.

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

I don't think it's really appropriate. I think there's a reason he's doing that. Either for ego fuel or insecurity. Maybe just speak with him and tell him how you feel.

Anonymous · Answer

Every girl I've ever dated would tell me about every guy that hit on her. Every girl I know talks constantly about all the guys that hit on them. Maybe some guys come out from this thinking it's normal to talk about.

Lliam · Answer

It's pathetic. The guy sounds like an immature, narcissist. I wouldn't trust him.  He's already hurting you and will hurt you much worse.

lightbulb27 · Answer

no that's wrong, not nice. supposed to protect relationship and others feelings... not prop up his own ego. that is not love. what do you think it is? Sounds like low self worth.

BlackRose97 · Answer

I always tell my boyfriend about the guys that hit on me, but I just figured he had the right to know. I admit I hate it when he tells me, but I don't want to be a hypocrite.

LukeAurelin · Answer

It is always the tone he might be making u jealous or he suggest that he had options if I ever let go of him. Just tell him how I feel about his bragging

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Toxic. I have zero tolerance for BS. I'd run away fast in no time.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Mine has kind of a jealousy issue but I'd prefer to be open with her about it. I don't think I have anything to hide and it's all ancient history, by now.

glennos89 · Answer

You should leave him. That is very toxic behaviour. You dont want a guy who tries to make you insecure

SnowyOwl · Answer

If it makes you sick and he keeps doing it then he doesn't really seem to care much about you :/ ... Have you tried talking about it?

Bricealan · Answer

I think you should tell this BOZO to get lost. That kind of talk is just plain ignorant.  Do you really need to tolerate that?

rachel776 · Answer

i don't need to be told he has other admirers, they're hanging on him all the time 🤷‍♀️

MannMitAntworten · Answer

If that is what is happening, it should be a clear indication for you to end things with him and try for better luck elsewhere. No body needs that in a relationship.

art84 · Answer

Sounds like he has other options than you especially if he says those things to you. I am sure it makes you feel intimidated by your boyfriend.

Amur8711 · Answer

That is toxic.  The one girl I know that we are close she tells me when guys do hit on her but she tells me because they won't leaves her alone.

woahhh152 · Answer

It's toxic. He wants you to know that he has options but preferred you. If I was you then I would dump him and tell him to be with one of his admirers

RingOfFire · Answer

It's disrespectful. If he loved you he wouldn't say those things.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

With my GQ cover boy good looks, my partner would have to be blind not to know I'd have lots of lady admirers !!!

shades777 · Answer

I think it's better that he show you by going out and you witnessing chicks drop to their knees for his attention. Anyways can talk

LiamJHayden · Answer

Most people have other admirers, so not sure what the purpose would be.

NBSBhopelessRomantic · Answer

While I do think he wants to make you feel jealous, I think its okay to ask him why he kept repeating it for you.

CubaPirate · Answer

I think he's out of order especially if he knows it makes you feel uncomfortable

slatyb · Answer

Not at all. Who needs these games?

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s extremely toxic

Danny_dan92 · Answer

If it’s an open relationship sure. Have at it

goaded · Answer

It's toxic. Think about moving on.

DrPepper12 · Answer

If ALWAYS it's toxic

KrakenAttackin · Answer

How many other men are in your phone?

scott04sa22 · Answer

I don't have any admirers?

jahaims · Answer

He is immature. Move on

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

Just leave him. Problem solved.

zombiewoof · Answer

Sounds like a guy with a big ego,

GoodEnoughThen · Answer

Um, no. Lame.

paledreams · Answer

I don't think so 😕

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

😂😂😂😂

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes I do

Do you think it’s appropriate to always tell your partner that you have other admirers?

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