Do you mind if your partner NEVER GETS JEALOUS of you? Or does it make you feel free?

[chick]

I liked this at first too, but later in the relationship, when my partner gets jealous, I feel like he cares about me. Do you think I am wrong?

[quaranta]

It makes me not only feel free, but also eager to continue the relationship. Jealousy for no valid reason (like I'm actually getting closer to someone else, or I'm suddenly too enthusiastic of another guy progressively and spend more time for him than my boyfriend), bothers me really a lot, and it is also a dealbreaker because it basically means he doesn't trust me at all. I require maximum trust instead, the same I give in exchange, and that is the minimum foundation to build a relationship for me. No trust = nothing can proceed.
And regardless, I don't want someone I have to walk on eggshells with, any time I meet male friends (I have only male friends) or someone tries with me (it happens a lot).
Literally, within the first hour I met my current partner, we went to a pizza restaurant, finally talking face to face for the first time, and the audacious waiter instantly checked if I was single and available and if this guy was a serious thing or not, using indirect questions, engaging a conversation with "us" (but 90% with me) for 3-5 minutes, with him present there. My partner laughed it off later, and wasn't triggered at all. Why? Because he trusts 100% I wouldn't randomly indulge in flirting with another random guy. He knows the concrete reasons why I like him in particular and that I am responsible. Both of us have a lot of friends of the opposite sex especially, and we dedicate them the same time as before. No jealousy in between. And yet we care a lot about each other.
I would expect him to get jealous if in that case of the waiter we exchanged contacts and progressively got to talk a lot every day, then I would understand jealousy after a while and accept that as legit. Otherwise, no. And I offer the same level of trust.

You are not "wrong", because your feelings are legit regardless, but the question would be: why would you need to see jealousy as a proof of your partner's care? Have you severe trust issues? Do you think you are not even remotely "enough" for your partner and need continuous reassurement? Did your partner prove to be not easy to trust in other aspects, so you can't trust his words and his commitment to you? (questions for yourself, not for me).

[Anonymous]

I don't want a jealous partner, but I also need to know she gives a damn. This is something my current girlfriend and I have had to address, as she doesn't really get out of sorts despite the fact that I work long nights in the event industry and also work weekends at a sex dungeon.

She knows what I do, and my methodology when it comes to the dungeon, and she knows her place and that it is secure. But I need to know that she values me, and the cheap, effortless way to show that is to be jealous and possessive.

However, we choose a healthier route. In the time that we are apart she and I tend to put a lot of effort into planning special trips that we go on 3 or 4 times a year. It started with me taking her to a treehouse cabin, then she took me to her alma mater and showed me around before a football game (she loves college football, I love her) and then going night fishing, passing out on the bank... Then I took her to Colorado to the mountains, and now she's planning a trip to Eureka Springs (one of our memories from when we dated the first time) and we are staying in a Hobbit Hole.

And I know these things sound expensive but not terribly so as we plan it all out, and shop for interesting places far enough out that we get good deals. We tend to forego fancy dinners, even on our regular dates, in favor of cooking together at her place or mine, and when we go shopping together, we usually just raid thrift stores to see what odd gems we can find.

But it's all about the time and thought, and so we don't have to get jealous to keep each other around.

[Finchie40]

Depends on what he is getting jealous over? There is a difference between jealous and respect , for a relationship to work you both have to remove selfishness for each other , you both have to wear each others shoes when it comes to making decisions, understanding you can’t always be right and they are wrong , What most girls don’t realize is when a man loves and adores a girl he becomes territorial over her , he wants her all to himself , he doesn’t want another guy trying to work his magic on her to get her in bed , so that’s his way of protecting her and letting her know that he values her and doesn’t want another man to get the best of her, Most men know what other men are thinking so sometimes a girl will assume her man is jealous but really he isn’t , he is letting her know he wants respect from her , for him to protect her and keep the relationship from failing apart he is letting her know that the only way he can prioritize her is if she prioritizes him , Most girls don’t grasp this concept and wonder why they end up broken up , If a man doesn’t feel like he is a priority towards her he will feel like she is just using him for a convenience and feel she is just weighing her options , For love to grow it comes down to respect and trust for each other and removing selfishness for each other , Most people are jealous of other people’s relationships so they will try to sabotage it because they are jealous they don’t have that. Sadly to say friends can sabotage your relationship by feeding your head that your partner isn’t good enough for you , family can as well , by making you feel that your partner is trying to control you etc. Why you should never choose friends and family over your partner , A real friend will support your relationship and be happy for you a toxic friend will sabotage it same as family. For a man to love and value a woman she has to prove to him that she only has eyes for him and got his back no matter what , when she starts comparing him and belittling him and criticizing him he will feel she doesn’t value him and that she is a selfish person which could push him to accept another girl into his arms , but if she values him and adores him he won’t go anywhere

[boggboss]

I think u have had some toxic expirances when it comes to relationships and bow thats what u think is caring behaviour slight jelousy is fine and a normal reaction but with how people tend to react whilst jelouse I wouldn't say its a feelings of caring

[FunkyMonkee]

Why would she be jealous of me? She WAS envious that I knew how to play drums and she didn't and that I have such a fantastic record collection. Other than that there was no reason for envy or jealousy.
Envy is over people, jealousy is over things.

[QuietVerbena]

I think a little jealousy is healthy

I can’t believe no one took the name chick before you!

[dustybiker]

You reach that point you have a solid relationship. That is comfort.

[Berethor]

You not wrong, jealousy shows that he care, but what you gonna do?

[Anonymous]

I like having a jealous partner because it makes me feel like they care. If they don’t get jealous then it makes me feel like they really don’t give two hoots about what I’m doing.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone likes a little bit of jealousy. It makes you feel valued. But there is a definite line.

[Twalli]

Some jealousy can be good, but it depends on how much and based on what.

[Anonymous]

I would dump him if he had such a juvenile mentality. He's a grown ass man. Act like one.

[Alex8736]

trust and communication is key