Is it controlling to not like your partner's behavior?

[Anonymous]

For instance, if a guy tells his girlfriend that he doesn't like that she goes clubbing or hangs out with guys, is he controlling? Is he supposed to keep his feelings to himself to avoid being seen as controlling or as an abuser?

[Anonymous]

No that’s not controlling. I could see if the two of you went out together, that’s different. A lot of the women I know who are around my age are single, divorced, frequent in g clubs. Their partners got tired of it. Said no more. I get people should be able to do what they want w in reason but you also have to have respect for the person you’re in a relationship w. What’s the point of being together if you’re always going to be out running around like you’re single. I see more women doing this than men, dressed up scantly clad. Yes some men do it as well. Regardless neither one should be doing such things. The funny thing is women say they want a man who is open, honest, but when he says something like that about her going out now he’s controlling, he’s an asshole, etc. Talk to your man, if he can’t respect your feelings then you need to move on. I’m not saying nag him or yell at him, just lay it out.

[Asker]

Literally about to do this. Wish me luck 🤞🏽

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[JesseP1nk]

I know for women its hard to put themselves to other persons shoes. But how would you feel if he goes clubbing with buddies (without you) and hangs out with other women (without you) all the time. You would not like it, right? Should he go around and ask around *retarded voice* "Is this controlling?" or "is she so insecure?" *retarded voice*

[Asker]

I know how I'd feel because I'm the one feeling it. But it seems like every single day on social media I see a ton of people calling others abusive or controlling for not wanting their SO to go out or to have opposite-sex friends.

[JesseP1nk]

when people are in relationship then they have to consider other person also. If they can't, then they should be stay single.

[Asker]

I feel like he isn't considering me. I'm sick to my stomach and couldn't even eat dinner. I hate confrontation but I'm about to bring this up. I just know he's not going to think the way you do. He's going to think the way some of the other people talk and give the whole "I'll do as I please" kind of response. Which means I get to either put up with poor treatment or consider the last year and a half of my life a complete waste, and break up.

[Jessica405]

Within reason, a girl can do as she pleases. Of course, it does depend on the level of commitment in the relationship. It also depends on the girl's motivation for behaving like that.

If the guy is genuinely upset be what is going on, the relationship will not go far!

If he is adamant you should stop clubbingg, then it is controlling. If he says he would rather you didn't go, then it is not controlling.

The two people should try to compromise. If not, you might as well part company.

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion on this. I appreciate the perspective. This is about my boyfriend going clubbing and being around female friends. I'm planning to address it with him tonight, but I'm assuming he'll reply exactly how you wrote with the "do as they please" kind of style. I'll stick with the "I would rather" language about his behavior so I don't come off as controlling. My heart is literally pounding.

[Jessica405]

If he is serious about you, he SHOULD make you feel he is being serious by understanding what you are telling him.

If he can't compromise, then sadly, you might be better with a different guy.

[Jessica405]

Thank you for MHO!

[Agape93]

It's fine to have those feelings and express then, that's not controlling. It's controlling if he tells her she can't do it anymore.

[Asker]

This makes sense. Now I just have to figure out what to do if I share my feelings with him and he doesn't care enough to change.

[Agape93]

If the lack of change is a big problem, leave. Otherwise it poisons the relationship

[Asker]

I appreciate you 🙏🏽

[Anonymous]

There's NOTHING wrong with a guy knowing his boundaries. And there's nothing wrong with you deciding you do not accept them. You might be just now finding out you're not right for eachother. The woman for him will understand why he feels this way an respect his position.

Hope that helps.👍

[HelpfulWoman]

nope. thats communicating

[Asker]

Okay thank you. Obviously I reversed the sexes in the details, but I want to address my boyfriend about this stuff. I just constantly hear about this kind of issue being seen as controlling or abusive. I'm the polar opposite of those things though.

[Fury_storm]

sounds like the girl is a whore

[In_Trance]

It's definitely not

[Furkifurkan]

No..