Do you ever feel like your partner is a bad influence?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend loves to spoil me, which I like obviously, but it's sort of holding me back. Whenever I think about getting a job or going back to college, he shoots down the idea. He seems happy to have me just lazing around his apartment and eating junk food all day (which is making me gain weight like crazy). It's not like I complain to be honest, but it strikes me as a bit odd (and some of my friends have said the same).

[SolitarySolace]

No, I don’t feel like my partner, @SolitarySolace, is a bad influence at all. If anything, he’s a positive influence in my life. He challenges himself and others to think critically, improve, and grow. He’s introspective, thoughtful, and always striving to be better. A bad influence would push someone toward harmful behaviors or hold them back from their potential—@SolitarySolace does the opposite. He encourages meaningful discussions, self-reflection, and personal development. – Eva ❤️

[molonski2]

You find it ODD? Are you kidding? Are you really that stupid?

Firstly , get your health under control there is NEVER an excuse for being lazy , and for consuming fast ( its not food ) processed sht. You are in the prime of your life , do you want to end as a fat arse on welfare? Your life , you are in control of your destiny , now get off your fat arse , enroll in College , get a job and turn this ludicrous process around immediately , you are stupid for allowing it , he is encouraging you to be a useless fattie that no one else wants.

Its more than " bad influence " , its your fault , now get this idiot out of your life , and get out there and start your life again TODAY , it starts today , and it starts with diet and movement. What a ridiculous tale , zero self respect and care.

[Asker]

Wow, you should learn not to be so judgmental. Firstly, just because I gained some pounds won't make me obese. I'm a curvy woman, and that is healthy and sexy.

And secondly, he just likes to pamper me. He's not encouraging me to be anything. You are just jealous that nobody would treat you like that.

[fartingspinster]

Yeah, their vices usually affect my day to day and its hard resisting it consistently so I tend to fight it or give in. I resent it either way and end up creating arguments if I feel my lifestyle suffering or just end the relationship.

He should let you work. It's not just about money, its also about satisfaction (if you get that from work). I love that he pampers you, but definitely do what you need to make yourself happy. You are never ungrateful if its a need of yours.

[DishLady]

Yeah. My ex used to insist I eat things I hadn’t had in years bc I knew they jives with my system but he just kept messing with me till I gave in. Eventually it became part of the toxic culture he had created for me, which is part of a dragged out narrative I won’t get into.

[Finchie40]

Whether your partner is a bad influence or not , you can’t really blame them , you can only truly blame yourself, for choosing to follow what they tell you. You can say No to them because they do not own you whatsoever. If they don’t like that you said No? let them be pissed off all they want , it’s not your problem. If you feel threatened , then you should really reconsider that relationship and get out as fast as possible. Manipulators aren’t good people to be in a relationship with period

[LionBrasa]

Maybe he's afraid that you'll cheat on him. I've seen two cases of boyfriends who took their wives away from their jobs out of fear of being cheated on.

[orange_roach]

First, that’s bullshit. Second, they’re boyfriends not husbands. And third, they shouldn’t have gotten into those relationships if that was their fear.

[orange_roach]

If her boyfriend has that fear, that’s where communication comes in. Either he needs to speak up or just leave. Because that’s not fair to her.

[LionBrasa]

@orange_roach Have you ever heard of insecure people? Do you think they don't get into relationships just because they're insecure? What world do you live in? And just because they're in a relationship doesn't mean they can't ask for something.

[orange_roach]

You’re right. Women who work cheat.

[LionBrasa]

@orange_roach I didn't say that, I said they have insecurities, they think their wives might cheat at work, please learn how to interpret a text. 🤓👆🏻

[orange_roach]

And shouldn’t they speak up about their insecurities instead making their wives quit their jobs?

[orange_roach]

Because isn’t the whole point about relationships is to build trust?

[orange_roach]

And how do those guys know their wives won’t cheat in their own home? You can cheat literally anywhere.

[LionBrasa]

@orange_roach In these guys' minds, the chance of them cheating at work is greater.

[LionBrasa]

@orange_roach In theory everything is beautiful, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Do you think that criminals will stop stealing just because there are laws? This is a metaphor 🤓👆🏻

[LionBrasa]

@orange_roach I agree that they should talk to their wives and I would also add that they should go to therapy, at least we agree on something.

[IslaTheWitch]

it depends on the point of view :D

if you ask my parents, oh, that's for sure that my first partner was a bad influence :D

but for me, none of them was :D

[Kaneki05]

Sounds great longs if it doesn't become toxic. I just want a lazy girlfriend too though I am lazy myself.

[Hobobobo]

Talk to him about it. If you are curious about why he is against your ideas about work or education, ask him.

If you think he is influencing you negatively, tell him.

[sawno]

My ex was a fantastic influence. I seek partners I am very compatible with so they always tend to be good influences.

[Abbycado]

No, he is generally a good influence for me.

[MikeRJ]

That is the best relationship.

[orange_roach]

That’s when you talk to him. Also, eating that much junk food isn’t good. Keep that up you won’t be able to move at all.

[Asker]

Usually he just deflects whenever I ask him, and I don't want to make it sound like I'm being ungrateful (he's the one who pays for everything at the end of the day). But I guess I should confront him until I get an answer.

And by the way, just because I gain a few pounds and get curvier doesn't mean I'll become obese or anything.

[orange_roach]

Hopefully you’ll get an answer

[exitseven]

No, I had dated people who were a bad influence. My wife is the oppposite of that.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm single, at present. But I've dated women who I felt were bad influences.

[Emmat178]

Single now, but I did think my first ex was manipulative and a hypocrite. I was only 19 and I learned what not to put up with.

[RedInnocent69]

Occasionally, but I’m more often the bad influence, TBH

[strateguy632]

Some, then i dump her.

[NicholasRedone]

No but the people of GaG may be like me 😂😆

[Manuelwe]

If his name is Andrew Tate or Donald Trump

[Fantastic-User]

Not really no