Do You Complain About Your Partner To Others?

[emeraldsaphire]

I have a lot of girlfriends who do constantly. I often know all of their bfs/husbands faults, and shortcomings.

Growing up, my parents had 2 rules that I follow to this day.

1) Never complain or say something negative about your partner if they aren't their.

2) Never disagree with your partner in public

The last one can be hard, but we both try our best to keep the other's thoughts in mine because of this rule.

[FreyaRed]

Never did.
I've been taught, don't reveal your problems which include people close to you to others because you will lose credibility as person who can keep thing for themselves.

[lilBigPotato]

Well, not in public or to just anyone, but in difficult times I might let my emotions out when discussing it with best friend or parents.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I aim to give you some advice to keep the love alive, even if your partner's socks are strewn across the living room floor! 😅 While venting feels good, it's all about balance. If you often complain about your partner to others, it can harm the bond you're building. Those rules from your parents rock! Keeping disagreements behind closed doors shows respect and unity. Let's face it, we all have quirks, but sharing them too freely with others can lead to unnecessary drama. Keep it cool! 🎉

[Summeroflove]

Some people need to vent…. Unfortunately if someone’s complaining to people outside the relationship communication is bad…. Otherwise these conversations would be happening amongst one another. Not to others…

It happens especially in relationships where someone’s either shut down when they express how they feel or think. Number two, they’re too cowardly to be direct and honest. But some people are toxic they cannot deal with criticism.

When you shut someone down. You just force them to start holding feelings inside that later becomes resentment more times then not. Other times they may become completely indifferent to the relationship.

Some relationships are better to be left behind. Sure there is counseling but it only works if both people can out in a effort. I personally would rather be told when someone has frustrations, wants, or needs. I would rather someone tell me…. Because otherwise I don’t know what’s going on. That’s where some people…. Themselves even if one person communicates someone else doesn’t. Too cowardly.

Either I can work on those areas… or end the relationship if we aren’t compatible. And that’s what some people fear. That if they express their wants, needs, and frustrations. That someone will end it all with them. Which…. Maybe is for the best. But the relationship will probably end regardless if you just never communicate and let things deteriorate that could have been possibly fixed.

It also happens that the things said behind someone’s back. Get back to their partner…. Especially complaining to mutual friends. Complaining to someone who goes out and repeats what you said.

[DishLady]

I don't know if I'd complain about an actual partner to anyone other than really my closes confidant... and that was my mom (RIP). There's no one I can think of spilling the tea to, esp. at my age.

About the ridiculousness of dating I'll share with you guys and gals bc the blooper reel ends up being too goofy to keep to myself. Honestly there may be a book series, lol.

[Finchie40]

That’s what a respectful couple does but unfortunately there isn’t many respectful people , my ex use to bash me to her friends’ and that’s why she is my ex

[OlderAndWiser]

Your parents are very wise people!

[Zack-Bann]

Most relationships are killed by an outside party


The bitter single friend who wants everyone else to be as miserable as she is


The bro who’s never dating someone longer than a weekend telling you it’s all red flags


And even those who deep down wish us well.
They can end up giving wrong advice


I think a relationship is the affair of two people alone.
Obviously we should have friends and we will talk to them but we shouldn’t complain to them or ask them for critical advice.


Yet most couples do…

[lightbulb27]

I used to and for a time Id do so jokingly. But I have no reason to, she's really amazing and I'm positive to others including men whom are single so they know there are good relationships. Also women so they understand how to be... a lot of women don't know or don't know how difficult they are.

When there's an occasional difference of some kind we resolve it or I let it be.

She's a great example of how wives should be, how they improve mens lives. I know other wives also good. Women are getting too bad of a wrap from so many men and needs to be more promotion of the ones that

[MrOracle]

I very much agree. I set that boundary very early on - we are a TEAM, and you don't talk badly about the team to other people. If you have an issue, you deal with it in private with the team, and you praise publicly. Not everyone has as easy of a time getting on board with this, but it sure does cut down on toxic behavior. The last thing you need is your group of friends trying to destroy your relationship, but that's super common today.

[Lliam]

I never complain or talk trash about my partner to others. That would be extremely hurtful and disrespectful.
She's a wonderful wife and, even though she does things that drive me nuts, the good things about her far outweigh them. I love her deeply.
So, as far as anyone else is concerned, she is amazing. I praise her rather than criticize her in front of others.

It would feel like disloyalty if she put me down in front of others or behind my back.

[Alex_Bright]

There's generally no reason. As long as both people manage to discuss about their issues there won't be frustrations to take elsewhere.

I did twice talk with close family or friends, more to vent frustrations. Both involved therapists who said the situation was not normal.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I never disgrace my partner in public. We should come across as a unit at all times even when we're apart.

If I or she did something that made one of us feel disrespected in public, I would take it very seriously.

Your partners honor is yours also and vice versa

[DonaldDarko]

Those are very good rules, and no I would never do that. I wouldn't even let anyone know I had a partner, the less people know about your personal life the better off you and your loved one's are. Crawling around like a disease among the general population are sick people who want to hurt others.

[MrChinaski]

No. Never. I talk about how I feel as a result of their actions. A partnership is a partnership. You hold together or explode apart. Even after my marriage broke down I have never complained about her behaviour to anybody else. She has heard perfectly clearly every grievance I have ever had. Nobody else ever has or ever will.

[MrChinaski]

On disagreement in public, it happens all the time. If it is something we think matters to each other we never would. But sure we have somewhat different world views, philosophies, takes on social issues, religion, whatever. We aren't a hive mind and that is healthy to model.

[itsannalee]

I’m never complaining or talking bad about my partner to other people or even my own parents if i still want go be with him. His reputation is mine too. Because when we fight, i might forgive him, but my friend/parent/family wouldn’t not.

[NathanDavis]

I had no reason to complain about them, so no

but if I had reasons to do so, I would definitely not go to others... but her, so we can work on it...

[oliviacarter]

I think occasional venting is normal, but constantly complaining about your partner to others can damage trust. If there’s a real issue, it’s healthier to communicate directly with your partner instead of sharing everything outside the relationship. Respect and privacy matter a lot.

[molonski2]

Never ever ever ever disagree with your boyfriend/ girlfriend in public , absolutely, an absolute given..

[MemeSupreme]

to friends who just know that im venting and won't tell everyone my business

its never super in detail if we have problems tho

[BCRanger10]

No. If I have something to say to her, I'll say it to her.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

No, I don't.

Additionally, I have nothing to complain about.

[sawno]

I might to a trusted friend if things are really sour, but so far I never had to.

[Jackblue]

I cannot agree with your parents' rules sometimes you need the support of third parties. Just try not to lie or exaggerate and say good things about them as well.

[slatyb]

Never ever. That's just nasty behavior, so destructive to a relationship.

[Agape93]

Only minor bitching about behavior, but nothing bad.

[WhitneySnow]

No. I don’t complain about them to other people. We do disagree sometimes though.

[MannMitAntworten]

No and I don’t know any guys who do this either. They have shared praises of their significant other but not complaints.

[exitseven]

never. there really is not much to complain about anyway

[fish5505_87]

Unfortunately, we all need to vent, for the most part only to my brother and a very close co-worker whom I've known for 15 years.

[Lorenzo501]

Real men and women don’t do this. I’m with my wife 30 years love her to death. Let other people run my businesses so me and her could have time together with our kids and grandkids..

[Anonymous]

no never only jokingly but never about our personal business

[dudeinohio]

I do not. Then, there is nothing to complain about.

[tomgrosse77]

Only if you’re trying to destroy your relationship with your partner.

[Nikki1989]

Never had any urge to do that.

[DryGermanGuy]

No, that generally feels wrong to me. 😕

[WonderingManII]

Don't have one.

[bananathunder]

never... that's not cool

[Jerre]

I never complain about my partner to others

[CubaPirate]

Not really tbh

[Anonymous]

No, I'm single.

[beenherebefore]

Hell No!

[elizamichale1]

Very rarely

[Zionne]

nopeee

[wkhan_87]

No ,, i never do