Why are people so cruel now especially in dating?

[MLGbreezy]

I feel like I’ve never held with how we conduct ourselves in dating nowadays and ever since I started. I feel like there’s just a lot of disrespectful and contradictory behavior to what is said on how we should treat people to how we actually treat the ones we are supposedly or were once interested in.

Ghosting is the biggest one I feel like it’s such a gaslight ass tactic to do to someone and I’ve always struggled on the receiving end, I’m on over thinker and a bad one so stuff like this messes me up bad.

Instead of communicating your feelings you’d rather ignore me and let me try to figure out where I fucked up when I might not have to begin with this is something I can’t stand and still hate to this day. Unfortunately it’s woman’s favorite pass time, you could’ve done everything right and still get ghosted for no reason.

And some girls a in my opinion so cruel with it there an air of complete disregard with how some girls go about it how could you just do that to someone that tried to put there best foot forward and maybe is still trying cause they care or maybe that’s just my opinion so much for communication.

There definitely more but this post is already getting to long I’ll make another about some of the other frustrations later.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of narcissists out there now and they are extremely selfish, cowardly, mean, nasty people you will ever meet.

They aren’t able to build genuine relationships they are seeking other things and have a severe sense of entitlement. They feel when someone sees through their shit they make it their life’s mission to BURN them.

Yes ghosting is a cowardly thing to do but that’s who they are… Cowards. Also communication isn’t their strong suit.

[MLGbreezy]

Dating has become one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen it’s such a shame

[Summeroflove]

It is but there is good out there

[236color]

I don't think ghosting is gaslighting, or even intentionally cruel. What it is, is cowardly. It's tough to say to someone, "It's not working for me. Goodbye." It does need to be done sometimes however. I have noticed that rejection has gotten harsh. Women say this because men would not take a polite "No thank you " as an answer. So two things here, #1 Men accept "no". #2 Women don't hint, "I don't want to date you" spoken out loud. You don't need to elaborate beyond that about how much better than him you are, just "No thank you, I don't want to date you." Full stop.

Next, Young men, understand there is a period in most of our lives when we can't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of $50s. I know all of your friends are telling you about how much they're getting. Most of them are lying. You just have to go through it, sorry.

[MLGbreezy]

I disagree first in the topic of the cruelty aspect it may not be intentional cruel in some cases but that matter little to the one your hurting. It’ll hurt none the less especially if you just up a close relationship with that person.

That leads me into the gaslighting portion this is more so for those who have talked for a while. Just out the blue ignoring someone that really cared for you without any explanation is cruel and careless cause a lot of the time the person it’s being done to is asking if that person is okay. If you give no prior indication that anything was wrong then naturally that person is gonna try to reach out and probably real hard if they really cared.
But in many cases you’ll be labeled a creep or weirdo for trying to reach out if you’ve been ghosted.

Cause nowadays trying to communicate and work things out if you have done something wrong is apparently weird behavior.

And this speaks to the whole communication problem I spoke about to begin with while some men can’t handle rejection from what I’ve seen of woman taking rejection they are no better if not worse. Saying you’re not interested although intimidating is 9 times outta 10 gonna be better than being vague and misleading. Which is where my issue with ghosting stems.
It’s can leave false hopes in many’s eyes and when guys and even girls choose to purse that hope they get labeled as creeps or weirdos for not getting someone’s vague ass hint that is absurd and unfair. Cause now that person is probably filling really shitty when in reality they were just doing what is commonly said to be good practice in any relationship. Communication or at least trying to. If you can communicate your feelings like a grown adult then there is a serious issue and it’s one that plagues dating.

[MLGbreezy]

And then there are the intentional cruel woman who gaslight using ghosting by using that false hope I talked about. They might ghost you through texts but love or even replying back to your comments on there socials. Making you second guess hey maybe I’m not in the dog house maybe lemme give um a bit of space or maybe they aren’t mad or whatever. Nope they are just messing with you for one reason or another it’s gaslighting at its finest and it’s cruel but only one person out of the two will be labeled as a harasser to society and those looking from the outside in.

[Smashingdoozy]

While sometimes I think ghosting is acceptable (when someone does something that it's obvious that I'm not going to ever talk to you again ). I think people are owed an explanation to why things didn't work out. On the other hand I know how scary the reaction to telling someone that you aren't interested in them can be. It's hard to know who is and who isn't going to take it well.

[236color]

I'll dis agree just a little bit. I don't think an explanation is always required. Sometimes, it's just a vibe. Especially if it's a fairly new relationship, defining why it's not working may not be easy. I do think however, if you know it's not going to work, you should say so. Exceptions to this is if the other party is likely to be violent on hearing the news. If it's a longer relationship, yes you probably owe an explanation of why it worked before and doesn't now. But as I said unless it puts you in danger, at least acknowledge that it IS over and you are gone by choice.

[WowGIrl4ever]

@MLGbreezy thank u

[WowGIrl4ever]

No social skills, not a well around understanding of human behavior or emotions

[MLGbreezy]

It’s kinda shocking to see how many of us are like this I think social media has ruined us

[WowGIrl4ever]

Not me. I'm old I love the people

[WowGIrl4ever]

I'm more comfortable with people than electronics

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I’m an over thinker and a bad one so stuff like this messes me up bad"

That's the thing worth looking for, I'd say, in what you wrote.

In my experience, I don't know about yours, the vast majority of us are behaving neutrally, general indifference. I would consider it cruel if I expected interest instead of indifference. But I don't, because indifference is the de facto norm I have always seen.

So, maybe you have more power than you think, in adopting another perspective?

[MLGbreezy]

Well I don't know I actually tend to expect rejection more than anything I think once that’s start to become reality I tend to spiral start thinking about all the little things they did before and now and then I get very clingy to unhealthy degree that much I can acknowledge and that is something I going forward plan to work on cause that behavior is something I’ve ignored for to long. But I also don’t have much dating experience for relationships last for years after I got hurt I was mainly in my hoe phase as they call it so navigating dating with little to no experience I haven’t had time to realize and work on my faults. But I also feel those faults are something someone should be willing to work on with you depending on how long you have been talking if I’ve been talking to a file for months and she’s telling me how much she care for me and loves me but then I slip up and get a little to clingy not to an unhealthy extent but just a little overbearing and right off bat she doesn’t wanna talk to me any more well yeah I feel I type of way you told me all this stuff about how you cared and wanted to see a future together but you never really cared to begin with if you through it all away just like that.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I also feel those faults are something someone should be willing to work on with you depending on how long you have been talking"

I'm not sure what faults you're talking about but I wouldn't count on any mate working with you on them, because they can't anyway, it belongs to you

[MLGbreezy]

Relationship are a two way street support is a part of that’s like saying if your partner has an addiction your not gonna be there for them. If someone isn’t gonna stick with you for the small how do you expect them to stick with you through the big if that’s the mindset in dating then no wonder it’s failing.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Actually the example of addiction is interesting, there are many cases where addiction breaks boundaries with a partner, with reasons. Support is a vague idea you know, because everyone has their own definition, their own saturation point, what's acceptable and what's not. Depending on the context, support is constructive for both or destructive for both

[es20490446e]

"Why?" is the wrong question.

Whatever other adult choose to do is their sole responsibility.

I can give feedback and communicate, but nothing more.

At the end of the day what I decide is based on what I see happening.

[MLGbreezy]

I see where your coming from but my Brian just isn’t wired that way I don't know if I think to logical or straightforward or if something’s wrong with me but I can’t comprehend doing that to someone. And when it’s done to me it’s the most frustrating thing because now I’m attacking myself why what did I do wrong was it this or was that but we barley even got into conversation that is just the start of what my mind works through and then it goes and it goes and it goes and it goes and goes I am an over-thinker and in some situation that can be good but in most it can be bad

[MLGbreezy]

I try to be clear and as concise as I can be when expressing feelings but the fact others can’t do the same is just childish this always make think back to how men and woman are raised we really live in two different worlds

[es20490446e]

I uploaded this video to my YouTube channel for a reason:

https://youtu.be/P6PAUs-aUG0?si=tr9CLVMglKA8-dvw

[exitseven]

its been bad forever not just recently. It is something you have to deal with. Lots of people are dishonest and will play games.

[MLGbreezy]

But see that’s my issue I don’t think just with dating but men in society are just treated like shit now more then ever it’s like just existing is a fucking problem yet many woman cry that they are being oppressed? Really? They are prioritized more than we are in literally everything even relationships even if you have a girl who is willing to be there and work with you through some issues it’s always after she’s in the right place or stable to do that. You’re always the second thought. And realizing that is just mind blowing working so hard on myself and to go towards a better career just to be the second thought.

[MLGbreezy]

Growing up my father and mother got into a lot of really bad arguments and at the time I was always mad at my dad any child would be and one day when I was about in highschool breaking up the fight while trying to explain something as my mother wouldn’t listen and dismissed him he turned and explained his side to me I didn’t really get it at the time and I think he saw that and he told me I’d understand when I was older.

[MLGbreezy]

My dads gone now woman in society treat men even crappier but more outwardly and my mother isn’t much better to me and my brothers i understand what he meant.

[KrakenAttackin]

There is research that demonstrates how dating and relationships began to tank with the advent of dating sites and social media I don't have it saved but I will look.

[MLGbreezy]

Dating apps suck you get nothing out of them but dating in real life nowadays is not much better. You’ll get more attention in real life but that doesn’t mean the election is much better

[Anonymous]

Don't use G@G and the internet as your basis. The internet has no conscience. There are still good people in the world. But very are you going to find here.

[MLGbreezy]

I’ve seen this sentiment before and never understand it even people online who do and say wild things are still people they are just vocalizing there nonsense online and now there is a large number of them at a certain point this statement just proves my point cause if everyone online is seeeing this and 99% of the generation spends there time online they are going to adopt these belief and then it just becomes a wide spread problem like it is currently

[MLGbreezy]

I don’t think this is all people especially woman but man there’s just a large number of them out there that replay make you question if ratings even worth it

[MLGbreezy]

I feel like the dating game just makes you feel worse about yourself if your a guy nobody wants you and a lot of the time it’s literally just cause of your gender nowadays

[beefcakebradybatson]

It's another aspect of a country half of whose citizens function at a sixth-grade level, where per-adolescents are the most cruel.(H**l, you just re-elected a cruel man-baby !!!)

[Crazzyyworld]

because women are con artists and men are dumb ass fuck

[MLGbreezy]

Well I can’t say your wrong I’ve noticed a cycled of guys or girls being hurt and then just continuing the cycle

[scott04sa22]

I only ghosted people if I feel creepy or unsafe vibes coming from them.

[PsychicBoobs]

Poor social skills

[Agape93]

Because humans are by nature, cruel.

[MLGbreezy]

True

[Jmmmfi4]

YEAH ITS DEPRESSING

[CarolinaGirl5]

They don't owe you an explanation.