Why do so many people have stupid dating rules?

[zagor]

Someone has to be within X years of my age. Someone has to be so much taller/shorter than me. Someone has to have this kind of job.

Open your fucking mind and maybe you will actually be able to find someone.

[JacobJordan]

I think preferences can be a good thing when it comes to getting started but a lot of people become too rigid with those preferences and refuse to have any leeway to them. For example people who don't want a girl that drinks may hard lock on the "never ever ever drinks" bit which removes basically all women. When their are women who drink very very occasionally that would be perfectly suitable as they may meet every other preference. Preferences are great for a ballpark focus but preferences are terrible if one thinks it is a blueprint to what their partner is like. I had a fairly high preference requirement but it was not a brick wall it was merely to keep me away from women I would not match well with. No partying (I hate parties) doesn't drink much (I don't drink much seemed fair) doesn't do drugs/smoke (I don't so again fair) isn't overweight (I'm not so fair) treats me well (I treat people in my life well I figured I would treat a partner well) past that I had very little when it came to looks. As long as I was attracted to them and they somewhat got the above then perfect. My wife fit the above complete with dotted i's and crossed t's

[aceleon]

matbe some of us can't accept some traits? not everyone has to be open minded you know, if you are so open minded then would you date a prostitude?

[zagor]

There's nothing wrong with standards and preferences, but sticking by arbitrary "must-have's" that don't really matter just eliminates a lot of good people. Not wanting a heroin addict is reasonable, insisting on a blonde is not.

[Rei13]

A lot of people make up their mind what their preferences are but if they met someone they truly liked those rules don’t actually matter as much (depending on what it is). You might want someone with a certain body type, for example, and then meet a great person that isn’t quite that but still within reason for what you’d find attractive. You’ll probably bend, even if prior to that you said you never would. That said it is okay to have preferences and make a list regardless if other people agree with it, at the end of the day you’re looking for your forever partner and if it is unreasonable then that’s on you

[Nikki1989]

I have been saying that on here for years. It is not surprising why so many people on here (men especially) are single, just listen to them.

[Joshydavid25]

😂😂😂..

[MissStrawberry912]

everyone has their own attractions and preferences as they’re allowed to. As long as we can mutually respect each others likes/dislikes and not making each other feel bad about it. Sometimes we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, and it’s okay :) not everyone is our cup of tea either, right? it doesn’t mean there won’t be someone else who will like you the way you like them. Hope this helps bring you a peace of mind and openness.

[sheikalana]

It's called preferences and that's okay. If you just can't feel attracted to someone shorter than you or don't see yourself in a relationship with someone younger than you than you shouldn't force it either. However, if you've been single for many years in a row then I agree with you maybe you should change the way you think.

[JacobJordan]

There are preferences and then there are things out of ones control. Setting anything out of one's control as a preference is a very good way to exile oneself from the dating market by accident. Height, age, hair, dick size, etc all are not good preferences to have. By setting those one eliminates huge swathes of potentially really great people that would treat one amazing just because they don't meet a preference they have no control over. It is why most guys have preferences like: treats me well, isn't overweight, is healthy (doesn't drink a lot, do drugs, smoke, doesn't have tattoos, doesn't party) things like that are all controllable aspects of one's life. Those are preferences.

[Joshydavid25]

"If you just can't feel attracted to someone shorter than you or don't see yourself in a relationship with someone younger than you than you shouldn't force it either."

Those things aren't set in stone, they aren't genetic.. You can find yourself attracted to somebody who doesn't fit your attraction category.. Opening your mind helps a lot..

[sheikalana]

@Joshydavid25 Exactly. That's why I said 'if you can't feel attracted.'

[sheikalana]

@JacobJordan you're right.

[Joshydavid25]

💯💯!

[MemeSupreme]

stuff like age can matter lol a dude at 30 probably be wanting kids soon, but i doubt most people my age will lmao

other stuff is true tho and i think people overthink it bc they haven't connected with anyone in a long time

[Joshydavid25]

People seem to think they have more choices than are actually available.. They think they are the main character or making a main character and getting to customize who they are going to be with..

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend doesn't fit any of the things i would have said i liked, and i didn't want to go out with him for a long time

[Anonymous]

I agree, 18-19yo babes have too high standards for who they date