What is your biggest red flag in guys/girls?

Question

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Love bombing. I don't like when a guy calls me baby or showers me with love and gifts and we barely know each other.

Emotionally unavailable. Lacking the capacity to open up and slow to commit.

Lots of baggage from being adopted/foster kid. I don't think I can date another guy who has been damaged so severely from being in a loveless family dynamic unless he has been in therapy and worked passed his trauma. I thought my ex did but I think he needs more therapy. And I'm saying that with a lot of love.

Avoids conflict like the plague. Instead of talking things out, he wants to run from solving the issue via breaking up or just shutting down.

marshmallowcream · Accepted Answer

- love bombing - showers you with affection/claims to be in love with you very early on in order to gain your trust and manipulate you
- poor communication /slow replies
- tries to get you to go over his house/ or sleep over somewhere
- little effort in getting to know you properly/ taking too long to ask you out on a date
- only reaches out in late hours
- tries to kiss you on the first date or seems too keen/desperate to have you
- keeps calling you sexy
- gaslighting - when you mention anything your unhappy with - instead on taking accountability they shift the blame to you

Summeroflove · Answer

Peoples past behaviors I’ll say nobody is perfect. But I will say that there is a difference between someone who sees the wrong they did verses someone who doubles down on it, makes justifications, excuses, etc. If they have a history of cheating among other things. Leave them be.

Disingenuous is another huge thing for me it’s easy to tell when someone’s pretending to be someone they’re not. I want to get to know someone for who they genuinely are and vice versa. If we aren’t a good match then neither of us are wasting the others time to find someone whose better for us. But when you can tell someone’s pretending to be anyone you want them to be. That’s a problem. Sure it’s normal to want to impress one another a little but not to a extreme.

A sense of entitlement is HUGE…. Male or female someone who has a sense of entitlement. Is someone who will make you absolutely miserable you don’t owe them anything until you’re deeper in a relationship.

One sidedness and most very entitled people are one sided. When you’re putting all the effort in to get little to none in return. Just expect that will be the rest of the relationship. Both people deserve (if they’re good people) to get something out of the other. It’s not all about them if someone’s like that leave them behind like the bad habit they are.

Holding you to standards they absolutely refuse to hold themselves to. This goes for both sexes (as for really any of this). If you’re not able to question them bur they are being judgmental of you. That’s a problem. Someone who genuinely loves you will both love you where you’re at but push you to be the best version of yourself. But that’s not constantly shutting you down with negativity. There is such a major difference between being honest. Giving wisdom even when it’s hard. Being honest when it’s hard. And just being negative. One will build you while the other will tear you down.

Marriage extremes. One extreme is future faking dragging it out for a excessively long time. Making promises they never fulfill. The other extreme is rushing marriage. If you’re talking marriage in the first few months that’s a huge jump. It’s fine to talk hypotheticals but someone pushing marriage too fast is a major red flag. That they aren’t really abojr what they say they are.

ohsheeT · Answer

The biggest red flag is the girl with drama if he's always in drama always talking about people I have to walk away quickly

Avicenna · Answer

Mental illness (it's a complete dealbreaker)

Garud · Answer

Well, there are many, after obvious ones, if I think of any subtle way that raises a red flag for me,
If she wants to feel or expects something special, but shows disappointed expressions after not getting it,
talks round and round instead of having honest conversations,
doesn't put effort into talking or keep talking without letting the person in front respond,
to much attachment to her family,
compares men and women in ways where she blames men.
Lastly, if I get any signs that she is trying to whitewash her past.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

If they are an only fans "model", do porn, had sex with more than 6 people, drug use besides pot, alcoholics, severely mentally ill ( I am on medication and I understand women who are on them). , not taking mental health meds, STDs, stupid and ignorant (MAGA), too religious ( it's ok to be religious just not to be a hate filled fanatic (MAGA), expects me to be the only one who works/no income, no college degree, party girls, doesn't like dogs, controlling, has no hobbies of their own, wants to be connected at the hip, doesn't read, can't/won't do any house work and expects me to do it all or hire a maid, homeless unless living with someone, no job, hurts themselves, bad at managing money, kids by more than one man, lives on welfare.

Anonymous · Answer

For girls/women from a guy's perspective:

- she has daddy issues
- she encourages her female friends to cheat and commit sins
- she's untrustworthy, unreliable
- she makes everything about her like she's God's greatest gift
- her attitude sucks and its always about her
- she uses terms like "vibe" or you are "gaslighting" the situation

Guys if a female has this, RUN! She won't change she'll remain the same and take your time, your pride, your dignity, your heart and not care.

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

Tradwives give off spooky cult vibes to me. Sorry lady, but if we're going to reproduce, I don't want my kids to be dumb, passive humans who do what they're told because other people told them to do it. I want a partner who is going to challenge me to be the best person I can be and who will parter with me in parenting smart, strong kids who grow up to always ask why.

Douglas1179 · Answer

When that baggage starts to come out of the baggage claim on the first or second date. Things like 'My ex-boyfriend was a drug dealer and he sexually abused me and now I get therapy once a week.' My first thought is, Ok is it worth it to help her heal from this trauma or is she just some idiot who probably go what she deserved? Most of the time, I've found it's just best to leave her to the professionals, or let her keep getting what she deserves, because she will.

avacodo13 · Answer

For guys, if he isn’t emotionally mature. Or if he’s just immature but that speaks for itself.

Going off emotional mature, you shouldn’t be going into a relationship for ex; (one of my guy friends did this), cause you’re depressed and you think dating a girl can fix that. You then depend on her for your happiness. This goes for both genders Ofc, you shouldn’t go into a relationship if you’re not doing well mentally. deal with your baggage first before dumping it on someone else.

Aimée__LJ · Answer

I have two that are kinda related that have happened far too many times.

When guys get excited that you've only ever had sex with one other guy (Very odd). And then there's the guys that get mad that you're not a 28 yo virgin and want nothing to do with you anymore...

jazzy34 · Answer

Uneducated. I can’t  stand  a stupid man. Eww, be gone. 😖

RHK36 · Answer

Mutual respect. Under that tree of respect falls loyalty honesty communication etc. If I sense disrespect or any bs shenanigans I'm already slowly phasing them out of my life. After respect it would be growth. I can be friends or be with someone that doesn't want to grow more. It's very telling if someone is against personal growth.

Apple1996 · Answer

A man who lacks emotional intelligence and sexual discipline

MrCharlie13 · Answer

-Rude behavior towards people providing you a service
-Spends too much time on the phone while being with you
-Unwillingness to pay for parts of the date (I'll be glad to pay if its the first date, by I would expect you to do an effort to split the bills or pay something)
-She's a pillow princess in bed

MrPiercedD · Answer

It's few of them: having kids mental problems (PTSD, anxiety, etc are mental problems) lack or slow communication (if I'm important to her then why it takes her hours to reply?) lack or low sex drive supporting BLM, antifa and other similar groups Kamala voter... drama queen

just_a_potato · Answer

For girls, when she starts telling me about how 'badly' she needs money right now after knowing her for like a week For guys, when he calls his ex a whore/bitch compared to me or anything of the like

sage2021 · Answer

When I guy tells me to trust him. In guy talk what he's really saying is "Let your guard down so I can have my way with you. Also when he says "trust me" he might as well be saying "don't trust me".

Silver158 · Answer

Learned over the past 10 years that if someone likes me far too quickly it's a BIG red flag. As, they're usually a narcissist and will discard me as soon as they realise I'm either not going to give them what they want or they get what they want. This goes for friends as well.

Miristheiss · Answer

Wanting to club, party, go out drinking with single friends.

Promiscuous past.

Dressing provocatively.

Having ever cheated ever.

Not taking accountability for her own actions and always trying to make herself a victim.

thatshydork · Answer

If they’re mean to the people around them. I get that we all have bad days and some of us have some rough edges, but being rude/mean to the people you care about all the time is just not okay.

Anonymous · Answer

A girl that has a best friend who is a guy…. that she’s known since childhood…. that she’s seen naked on multiple occasions (and vice versa)…. one that she dated and hooked up with on more than one occasion…. including times when one of them was on a break from a relationship.

HighValue · Answer

Liberal morals in my opinion, including promiscuity, drug use, posts provocative/revealing pictures online, has kids from a past relationship, etc.

molonski2 · Answer

Over weight  Criminal  No employment  Poor presentation  Staring into phone  Region  Grammar  Sloppy  Unmotivated

strateguy632 · Answer

Biggest red flag is smoking weed or pot or whatever they call it. But any smoke is a deal breaker. See my mytake about lung cancer.

MemeSupreme · Answer

plays ignoring your boundaries off as a joke or just doesn't respect them period

Den1971 · Answer

Too much complaining and always always needing money those are two huge red flags cuz you're going to constantly have a headache and you're going to constantly be broke

KrakenAttackin · Answer

High body count, single mother, tattoos, stupid piercings, loud, obnoxious, calls herself a "strong independent", or "boss babe".

oldpigg · Answer

Chokers, piercings or tattoos, because it gives the appearance of a promiscuous woman.

MoonFace2 · Answer

Any kind of abuse, controlling behaviour, jealousy or aggression.

dragoblack · Answer

When woman don't treat me as a person and think i owe them everything, because they are attractive and exist.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Making sure that they love me for my mind and my money and not just my body

Graptemys79 · Answer

A lack of desire for self-improvement is a red flag for me.

JesseP1nk · Answer

This

Crazzyyworld · Answer

men=women=bad.. anyone who claim that they are different is red flag

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

If a broad doesn't have lots of girlfriends or she doesn't want me to hang out with the boys.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

when they refuse to do 50/50 or thinks they’re better than me

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

Girls who do not take care of themselves (bad hygiene)

Anonymous · Answer

High amount of social media followers or social media behavior

Anonymous · Answer

Being rude or being left on read for long periods of time.

Anonymous · Answer

If a girl is in the middle of undressing and a penis springs out, that's a huge red flag.

emeraldsaphire · Answer

Having a gag account!

Alice18 · Answer

If he lacks the desire for self-development

exitseven · Answer

She owes money all over town.

MicahRaine · Answer

When they can't admit their flaws/mistakes

nawtee_me · Answer

Trust issues…. What about you?

Jennz6 · Answer

All of the women except me are bitches

LiamJHayden · Answer

Rudeness to service employees.

Yannae · Answer

Being dishonest, hung up on the ex.

MisfitsLover92 · Answer

Thinking you are better than everyone else.

Vegasrunner · Answer

A women involved in sex work

Pete671 · Answer

Voting for Brexit!!!

scott04sa22 · Answer

I dont drive is the biggest rejections i get

Sabrina_Caleri · Answer

When they talk trash about their ex

vj0090 · Answer

They being too shy.. that's the biggest turn off

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

If she doesn't swallow

Anonymous · Answer

If she is passive/submissive.

UrsulaY · Answer

Disrespect

shortster · Answer

Smoking

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Her being rude.

Staximus · Answer

Drug addicts

What is your biggest red flag in guys/girls?

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