Why do men seem to use women for whatever they can get out of them, and then kick them to the curb?

[KezHarris]

Seems really common… and I’ve noticed “male friends” hovering around me for opportunities and asking me for favours and when I decline, I don’t hear from them again… are people just getting shittier in general?

[sage2021]

I am an older woman but I used to meet and date quite a bit when I was younger 19-45 years old.
Guys were doing the exact same thing with me.

Everyone said "It's because of the guy you choose/pick" - but that's all that was out there to choose from. All the good guys were already taken or married.

So, if they are the same as you describe now, and they were the same back in the 1970's through the time I stopped dating in 1998, then they have probably always been this way.

Please don't internalize this inward on yourself because it's NOT YOU!! It's them.

What to do about it is the question ❓

I think in my situation I didn't have a father around me and no brothers either so these guys didn't have any threats so they would treat me like you described.

But as I got older I just stopped going around those types of guys. I noticed that they were all saying the exact same things to me - and I saw a pattern in each one of them that was the same thing. Same old ferris wheel, just a different horse. 🐎

Stand up for yourself and turn the tables around on them. Just say things like "What would make you say something like that"❓ and give them a strange look like they are weird.

You need to set boundaries with these guys. And one thing for sure Don't have sex with this type of guy. But he will say anything to get into your panties. Have self respect and just say no.

Don't forget guys like the chase. Then once they've got you to do what they want - they probably will never call you again.
Good luck 🍀🤞🏼🌷

[PeachyPie93]

You should know by now that no one comes into your life to love you, they all come in because they want to use you or want something from you. Men have always been trash towards women.. if they can get sex out of you they will defo take it, that is why you don't fuck unless they make a commitment to you.
But even as a teen I had guys pretend to be my friend for awhile and be really friendly and nice then ask me to borrow something like a backpack (that cost $80) and then never give it back and they would disappear. Don't trust anyone who doesn't do for you first.

[RandomUser1000]

What a conspiracy theory.
Are they all in it for backpacks?

That must be some nice backpacks yo have.
Is it like Prada backpack or something?

[PeachyPie93]

@RandomUser1000 If it was Prada it wouldn't have only cost $80..
It's not conspiracy, it's the truth.. people always use and take from others so its best to never help or give to anyone first if you are gonna miss it if you don't get it back.

[RandomUser1000]

Thought 1)
I wish I was rich enough I could give expensive gifts without having to worry about it.
Would have been fun to give you a Prada backpack just cause.
But yeah I don't have that kind of money that I just can do it like that. So...

Thought 2)
You know one thing you can give without missing it?
Hmm, I think I'll have you make a guess or ask what before I tell you.

[PeachyPie93]

@RandomUser1000 Well yeah that makes sense, I don't really value anything that much so it isn't that big a deal..

You can give your thoughts and prayers without missing them? lol

[RandomUser1000]

That is a good answer. :)

But not the one I had in mind,
I thought that you can give hugs :)

[PeachyPie93]

@RandomUser1000 Oh nah hugs just lead guys to have perverted thoughts, so hugs are bad too lol.

[RandomUser1000]

Hmm how about fistbumps then?

Or are you carrying around a 10 foot pole at all times to make sure no one comes to close.
Regardless if it's a stranger or someone who claims her name is "mom" ?

[PeachyPie93]

@RandomUser1000 Fist Bumps are fine lol
I don't often get close to people, that is true lol

[RandomUser1000]

@PeachyPie93 How about if I give you a virtual fist bump and wish you a happy new year then.
Would that be alright?

[PeachyPie93]

@RandomUser1000 🤜🤛 Happy New Year! Have a good one lol

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Sweet dreams.

"From that first line, it’s not a happy song. It’s dark. “Sweet dreams are made of this” is basically me saying: “Look at the state of us. How can it get worse?” I was feeling very vulnerable. The song was an expression of how I felt: hopeless and nihilistic. “I travelled the world and the seven seas, everybody’s looking for something” was about how we’re all in this perpetual state of seeking. It’s about surviving the world. Because of lines like “Some of them want to use you … some of them want to be abused”, people think it’s about sex or S&M, and it’s not about that at all."

- Annie Lennox

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmLBSCiEoas

[RandomUser1000]

Nice cover. Thanks for sharing.

[HawkPerception]

There aren't many genuine people nowadays. The majority of people only keep you around if you provide some kind of benefit or potential benefit to them.

When you have someone that's unconditionally there for you, that's a keeper. It applies to everyone. Friends, lovers, family... everything.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Take that as a good thing. Them backing out from you means you don't have to deal with them anymore. That's why it is important for a woman to raise her standards, so these immature boys go away.

[ProbablyClueless]

People are stunningly selfish. It's the same bullshit that causes so many women to do the same thing to men.

They want what they want and they don't want what they don't want. And fuck what anyone who isn't them thinks about the subject.

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't! But I've had a few guitarists like that!!
Frank was living with a woman and had at least 7 or 8 kids with her but he still fucked around behind her back!!
Jason had a steady girlfriend several time and even a wife, at one point and STILL fucked loads of other girls!!
I'm too much of a loyal lover to just fuck someone and never talk to them, again!! I want someone I can stay with and raise a family with!!

[hahahmm]

Stop wasting time having "male friends". And guys should stop wasting time having "female friends" -- but most people don't want to hear this.

[strateguy632]

I don't believe that happened.

Talking like that is just divisive.

What are you trying to cause?

[itsannalee]

Because people around you used for that, you do them favor. Once you help them they would think help them is your responsibility.

[RandomUser1000]

It's not your responsibility to help me.

But it is nice to help fellow human being.

Do to others as you would have them do unto you.

[itsannalee]

That sounds not my problem.

[RandomUser1000]

Do you never help or care for other humans then yourself?

[WowGIrl4ever]

I don't know but the women going through that needs to use him to be fair

[Tomisworthless]

Only the men that can get women like its oxygen for their lungs. They dont need to settle or be loyal. Women use men for $ and access to higher class associations. Men use woman for sex, as its hard to obtain, you know we dont do magic

[glennos89]

Woman do that to man aswell. It works both ways sadly

[Wiredone]

I think some men and women both use the other for what they can get. It's totally disrespectful but some people don't care

[Anonymous]

for the same reasons women use men for whatever they can get out of them

[clampfan101]

I don’t know how people could be that selfish, yet here we are still… :/

[RedInnocent69]

Because, your lady bits are commoditized. You all have them.

[shortster]

It seems like most people these days aren't trying for relationships anymore.

[Kingofkings1992]

Women do that to men too. Yes, life as we know it is getting worse and people are getting ruder and shitter.

[Anonymous]

Such men are not good when it comes to personality. They lack emotions and empathy.

[Cheerfull009]

Yes, some people follow the concept of , Fuck and Dump but I am not

[chrissykerdock]

because they're pigs simple as that

[TsundereMatrix]

I feel like it’s just laziness sometimes

[LonelyHsoul]

Like women don't do the same

[slatyb]

Men? Some men are users. So are some women.

[exitseven]

I never did that. Maybe I should have.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Women do the same to us, only over money.