Why do men make good decent women wait on them and then dump them?

[Anonymous]

So, I know like a dozen 35+ years old women and they really beautiful too. 2 of them I would marry if distance wasn't an issue. So, what is the problem with these men? Every story is similar the script is same, the guy kept them around for 10-15 years and then the guy says he isn't going to marry them.

Why the fuck does it happen like this? And then these women have spend up their energy and mind and youth loyally on these trash bins and then get a no in the end. Why does it happen? And I tell you this happened to women who were family oriented, not party girls. I am willing to pledge my soul about them. And it pained me to hear there stories. It happened each time to them and I felt really sorrow in my heart.

All of them just wanted kids, have a family and look after the house. Not going after careers or anything remotely too much for a normal guy. Yet they got played on by those guys. It is really upsetting for me. And like I said I wish at least 2 of them were my own wives instead. My heart aches for them all.

P. S: please I don't want the hate that those were feminist because they weren't okay. So keep that to yourself.

[VIVANT]

Sone people are users some are spenders sone are builders

a user just take a persons time for their own game without caring at all how it affects the other person and they will do whatever they need to do to keep it going for as long as it feels good to them.

Spender will get with people because they want companionship and Saxon to have some kind of relationship but they’re not really good at building so they’ll just sort of feel things out and stay as long as it feels OK and not have any bad intentions does not have any intentions whatsoever and eventually probably they’re gonna move on although sometimes I could turn into building a relationship. It’s not really thought out as more of the point they’re not good or bad people they’re just not really together so they spend their time they spend other peoples time and it doesn’t necessarily resulting anything but sometimes it does

A builder gets into relationships with intention in The Intending building something with the other person so if they feel like it’s not going to work, they will say some thing and both of them can part ways friendly without hard feelings. maybe a bit of sadness, but you know they’ll be on the same page respect wise.

I think majority of people fall into users & spenders and minority falling to builders, and ironically, the majority go after builders whether they actually _want_ a relationship or not because you can get more mileage of a somebody who actually has good intentions, and it is unfortunate. And both women and men do this.

And I think a lot of originally builder take people become users in spenders because user spender use them and they get bitter.

I think people are in a very unhealthy mindset and having genuine connection is not really promoted culturally, at least in the country that I’m in. So you just got a lot of Messy game going on constantly all the time.

It’s gross and one of the main reasons I don’t really date I mean I’ll spend time with people cause it to get to know them but I never have any intention of like turning it into some thing cause I really I just don’t trust people and it’s really a big headache to me too.

Too too many assumptions in dating —/— it’s exhausting having to constantly explain that I’m not ‘thinking or expecting or Intending’ things that I _never said _ that I was thinking expecting or Intending, I just can’t.

I’m very literal someone trying to understand what I _really mean_ just confuses the F out of me and I just can’t deal with it. It’s too much chaos.

[Asker]

I think it is true. That bitter experience part especially. She girl is from Russia and I really fancied her for her intelligent ways. But I was upset for her that she spent 15 years on a time waster.
I don't get it, I don't feel remorse so easily but her words were like a bomb on me. It is just a penpal thing but I never thought about it affecting me this much. It's been so many days but the words still ring in my ear. She advised I find someone for marriage through dating and finding someone I like.

[Asker]

@Idirjthrbrr it's really sad :/. And they twite the person so much into that honey trap the wronged person will feel sad and think the one who tried to wake them up from the fantasy is the bad guy

[Asker]

@Idirjthrbrr this girl who keeps waiting for her lover to marry her for 15 years. I tried to say she is loyal to him and I would not have waited this long told me thanks a lot for making her life meaningless

[Asker]

@Idirjthrbrr you understand it that way but she got angry. And I really respect her

[Asker]

@Idirjthrbrr I don't know 😔. Love is hard to come by. I don't do dates. I just confess my feelings. And almost always late to the scene

[Asker]

@Idirjthrbrr 🤣 I didn't say I love to her. I just told her she is a loyal
Woman.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know somebody who dated one guy that did not propose after over 2 years and then they broke up. Later on nearly every guy she dated would propose cause she gave them an ultimatum after being together for a while which was get married or break up. Some got engaged to her and then broke up. But now her chances of marriage were around 95% higher caused she told them - propose by this date or lose her forever. And she did not wait ten years to bait her demand, it might have been less then a year or under two years. I also believe guys who expect a woman to earn her loyalty usually attract gold diggers cause a girl that loves you and is with you out of love will not spend ten years begging you to marry her and trying to be her best self to impress you. A girl who views you as a pay cheque might work very very very very hard to impress you but not a girl that is with you for the right reasons. She will walk away if it gets painful cause she is with you out of love and not out of a desire for benefits. Love isn't self hating or passive and it does not accept unreasonable demands.

[Asker]

Gold diggers don't wait 10-15 years. I am talking about good women and them waiting so long and still the guy keeps them on wait

[Anonymous]

WTF? What woman who wants to get married stays with a man for 10 - 15 years and is a victim of anyone other than her own bad choices?

You're clearly a woman, not a man..

[Asker]

Hey, why would I pretend to be a man?
I am a man if you don't believe me then don't 🤣.
And Yes I have seen a lot of women who remained devoted to single man and he didn't marry them. And they were beautiful enough to get married

[Opinion Owner]

Of course you are, lol.

If a woman wants to marry a man and he hasn't proposed for more than a couple of years, she is a fool for staying with him and hoping it will eventually happen. She is a victim of her own poor choices.

[Asker]

😞 and I love her too

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, so you're a lesbian. I see.

[Asker]

🤣 this is a first time in history that someone thinks a guy is a woman online.

[Opinion Owner]

Nah, there are a shit ton of females here on GAG with blue accounts, especially lately. You're not alone, girl.

[Asker]

I am a boy. What do you want me to do, dangle my private parts to prove it

[alice55]

Because lots of men are just player and don't care about good women, they like to have fun with them (cause they're not cheater) but they have no want to get serious / married, they're just asshoels.

[Asker]

It is just sad to hear this but after this women opened up about her personal life I genuinely felt depressed and extreme levels of unhappiness. I don't even know her more than 6-7 months and then I came to know and I felt regret about it. All women either had this scenario or they were too scared to marry or get in a relationship at all

[alice55]

Not surprising they were scared, I would be too, in my country some men (Muslim) do religious wedding have sex with the girl and then he dump her (cause here you have 1 week before the wedding is made official).
There's assholes everywhere, those men are just extremely selfish and manipulative.

[Asker]

Not just Muslims but in general. She is orthodox Christian and I really like her too and I ended up asking why is she still single. I thought she might say she is alone but turned out she was and still in a 15 years old affair and she isn't marrying and the guy isn't giving her a child even.

[alice55]

That's such a crazy situation, she should dump him, if he's aren't getting married after 4 years of relationship it mean, he never would. She should have dumped him years ago

[Asker]

I implied it and she got upset that her life is meaningless is what I implied

[alice55]

She's a bit complicated, she's in a very tricky situation

[Asker]

What do you mean? She clearly said she wants a family and have children of her own

[alice55]

Does she really? I don't think a woman that really want it would wait 15 years... It's better to have children when under 30 cause after they have higher chance of being sick.

[Asker]

Don't be mean to her please and yes she does. I don't know how to cook inside a person's mind but I know she didn't lie. I could feel the pain in her words

[DizzyDesii]

Waiting around 10-15 years is nuts. I wouldn't even wait 4-5

[Asker]

I wouldn't even wait 2 years. Why do these women stay this loyal and why do men like that not value these women:/

[DizzyDesii]

Would you value a foo

[Asker]

What's a foo?

[VIVANT]

I have never acted to get to a place I just have sone it for eye experience of getting to know the person so I’m pretty much endlessly patient

BUT I wouldn’t wait one lol if I actually wanted something and the other person can’t decide after a certain amount of rune boor I’m out, life short.

[Asker]

@VIVANT I was just about to ask for your opinion.
It is true but why do men do this to women? I really felt heart broken when I heard this last woman's tone. She said she was with a guy for 15 years and he neither had children with her nor marry her. It made me feel extremely unhappy. A tear fell off my eyes just thinking what this beautiful gem did and how that punk repaid her.
I felt like her sharing it felt like she wanted to be saved and her words felt like a knife through my chest. And the worst thing is I don't really know her and I felt the pain. Why did I feel pain and sorry for an acquittance is just beyond me

[DizzyDesii]

@VIVANT if we not on the same page in a some weeks to months, im out depending on the topic lol

[VIVANT]

I’m with you 💯