Which of these two guys should I date?

[Anonymous]

There is this one guy from my high school we fell in love with each other and date for 2 years but due to some misunderstandings we seperated but since he was my first love i still have a soft spot for him and he still loves me.. though it's been around 4 years since our breakup.

Now there is this other guy i met a year ago he loves me a lot and he is like the guy of my dreams he cares a lot for me and adores me a lot and not just me but also my family but the problem is i don't have that soft spot for him. But my highschool boyfriend doesn't treat me this well. though he don't treat me any bad and we share the same vibe but this guy just goes beyond limits in making efforts.

Which one should i date i'm so confused.. i do have a soft spot for my highschool ex as he is more fun and we have the same vibe but this guy is quite more loving, caring than him.

[NathanDavis]

your high-school relationship already proved to be problematic... don't date problematic people

you also stated that he doesn't treat you well enough... don't date people who are not good to you

you say you have a soft spot for your high-school ex... a soft spot is a weakness, and weakness should NOT be the reason for you to be with someone, they should ELEVATE you, not exploit your soft spots

also... you said those are high-school years, and it's been four years since then... and that means, that whatever good he might been back then, there's chances that is no longer there, because it is a different time, different context and you both are somewhat different people as well, so...

focus in the present, and look towards the future... don't get stuck with the past, which was NOT even that good to begin with

[Asker]

Thankyou for clearing my doubt😇

[NathanDavis]

most welcome... and best of luck with it (=

[ohsheeT]

There was a moment in time for each one of them to go the distance with you they let it slip away thank you have to let it slip away too it's a learning experience from both of them gather those together learn from them and go find another one because I guarantee there's going to be another one after this one too but then that's about it grow learn become one what that's all about

[marfaret]

hey, by the way wish u have no regrets in future, due to your choices.

to me, dating with a man who's respectful and lovely to me, is more important. i mean, in a relationship , respect, trust and honesty and care is what really matters. if both man and woman do that, love exists.

seems you're known your ex more than that new-known guy, it's naturally that your feelings tend to date with known person, nor anonymous one, finally, if u date each one, don't feel guilty about rejecting another guy.

[Screenwriter]

Well, you broke up with the first guy, despite the "soft spot" issue.

You clearly state that the new guy treats you better. I think your attraction for Mr. First is because you know everything about him: the good bad and ugly. You're taking somewhat of a risk with Mr. Second. But doesn't sound like it's a bad risk.

Sounds like it could be an exciting and sound payoff. I think Mr. Second is the better choice.

[Justbritt]

This is a hard one. As someone who also still has a very soft spot for my first love which was also my highschool sweetheart. I would have said an easy - new guy. Until you mentioned the highschool guy and you have more fun. Try seeing if the new guy can be fun also before making a decision. If he can shoot girl. But always go with someone who treats you good. Even if it's nether of these guys.

[Asker]

Although the new guy is fun but he is way too sincere and gets furious quite easily he is mostly romantic type of guy.. my highschool boyfriend is more of a fun guy who loves to crack jokes and he is less romantic..
Both of them treat me quite well although this new guy goes extra mile in this case.
So this is making me confused if i should go for the one who loves me more and cares a lot more.. or the other guy whose company i enjoy more.

[Justbritt]

I haven't seen your interactions that is what makes it hard to give an opinion. New guy gets furious quite easily. Hmmm are you sure he's not just working charm? He might go the extra mile but is it genuine or is he just doing what he knows you want? I dated a guy he was very romantic and sincere turned out to be the devil. I need to know more details. When and why does he get furious and to what extent?

[Justbritt]

Be patient because anything rushed what you dont want.

[Justbritt]

I meant anything rushed is what you dont want.*

[Asker]

I mean he has high bp and certain medical conditions that makes him get angry at times even if i was joking around (not always but sometimes it does happen) or if he is tired or hungry he would sometimes shout at me and this has kind of made me to think more before speaking and being more cautious of what i say.. well i think he knows what i want and does exactly that.. but yeah overall he treats me very well he will never let me go to sleep hungry or always listens sincerely to my family darama..
In short.. he wants a relationship based on a lot of love , romance , care and some maturity.

[Asker]

Meanwhile my highschool ex is very funny kind of person.. we had some misunderstandings and he was definitely not as good as this new guy in terms of loving and caring but back then we were 17 and this guy is 22 so obviously he will be better at these things at least this is what i think.

[Justbritt]

I will give my final opinion of the new guy with the latest information you have given and that is a absolute NO. You should have mentioned that upfront. Those are huge red flags. All of those things you mentioned seem sweet on the outside but he sounds like an abusive person that could become very toxic to you. I'd be careful. Your already walking on egg shells. I'd dismiss that guy. And don't let him manipulate you back. Look into narcissism so charming at first. Look into gaslighting too.

[Justbritt]

Okay so your highschool boyfriend may not be as charming bc it sounds like he is being his genuine self. He can work on his romance. Thats not too hard. What will be hard is if you get tangled up in a web with a guy that seems too good to be true and turns out to be psychotic. No offense. If it doesn't work out with highschool guy I'd really study characteristics of narcissism and avoid those type of guys and even friend at all costs.

[Asker]

Um are you so sure? Or could it be that he is genuinely that nice?

[Justbritt]

Like i said hard to tell over the internet without seeing you guys interact but based on what you told me. Im pretty solid in my opinion. Come back and let me know if you do decide to date him.

[Asker]

Tbh i have felt the same way but i felt guilty of judging him but i always had that feeling of being manipulated.. you know girl instinct. Like how could anyone shout at someone they love? No matter how many excuses he gave that still bothered me.. coz me ex never raised voice at me.. also what theory i came up with is.. not to sound shallow but he is pretty ugly and he don't even have a female friend maybe this could be a reason why he is trying so hard to make me stay i guess

[Justbritt]

Feeling bad for someone is not a reason to pursue a relationship with them. I don't think your confused one bit. I think you know without overthinking who is good for you and who isn't.

[Asker]

Thankyou so much😭

[Anonymous]

You sound more excited about your high school sweetheart. I'd say go that route.

[Asker]

Yeah actually we were so young and we were each others first love.. but since we didn't know well about managing a relationship it ended in misunderstandings.. but now i wonder since we are both grown ups we might make a good couple now

[Justbritt]

I agree! You have had 4 years to mature. I'd give it a second chance.

[Opinion Owner]

Seems like it's worth giving it a go.

[Flower7]

Date neither. The ex from high school has already given you bad experiences and you don’t feel enough sparks with the new guy.

[aceleon]

Stop screwing up the 2nds life will ya. Just go back to your ex, poor guy deserves better.

[Asker]

Well poor guy is not my boyfriend? He has been told no but he still wishes for a relationship and won't move on.. poor guy has made it clear that he wants me whenever i am ready he also knows about my highschool thing and that i have a soft spot for my ex.. poor guy is no kid he knows what he is doing.

[aceleon]

No he is a kid if he still goes for someone who still loves her ex. What you are doing between is borderline pedophilia at this point cüz only a kid can be that naive

[Asker]

Whatever.. he is 23.. nope not a kid he is in love.

[aceleon]

Nope, he is a toddler that is stuck inside a guys body, stop trying to ego feed yourself miss you are just using hım to feel good about yourself since the one you actually want doesn't bitter your ass like this poor kid does

[Asker]

Lmao.. talk for yourself.. my highschool boyfriend has done quite a lot for me.. and age matters a lot he was just 17 he didn't have money or we couldn't frequently hang out together.. okay so now i am done with your opinion keep it to yourself and do not give any further opinion

[aceleon]

Girl, you just started to blurt out unrelated things, i am not giving opinion i am asking for you to not be a heartless wktch and leave the poor guy to Live his life without your undead feelings for your ex screw his life

[Asker]

But i did say no to him.. we are friends we have a friend group.. what do you want me to do leave the friend group as well? I don't know what made you think that he is being used.. i have clearly made my statement to him he says he does all the things as a friend.. and if i say i wanted to choose one.. and if i choose him.. my feelings for my ex won't come in between.. whoeven i'll be choosing the other one would be blocked forever.. that is why i needed an opinion on this.. don't you bother about him because if i choose him i won't ever let him feel unloved or whatever i will have to do i will develop feelings for him. I am no witch so don't worry about that.

[aceleon]

Then here is your honest opinion, you still clearly love your ex, retjrn to hım, end of the debate

[Asker]

Thankyou.