Am I Wrong for Feeling Frustrated at the Slow Pace of Romance?

[marc_philos]

I’ve been dating a wonderful woman for about a year now. We’ve had several dates, and she’s met my family. Her level of physical affection has been limited to kisses on the lips when greeting or parting, and she seems to appreciate my efforts to be a true gentleman—bringing her flowers, going on walks, and taking her to events.

She recently confided in me about a difficult experience where she was ghosted by a guy after her first sexual experience. This revelation makes me feel honored by her trust, but I can’t help feeling a little confused. She trusts me deeply, as shown by sharing secrets, allowing me to pick her up at her home, and even accompanying me on a recent weekend getaway (separate beds). Yet, when I tried to initiate a deeper kiss after a night out recently, she balked.

I respect her boundaries, but I can’t shake feelings of jealousy and frustration. The guy who ghosted her didn’t treat her well, yet she was intimate with him. Meanwhile, I’m doing everything I can to be respectful and romantic, but things are moving much slower.

Is this a matter of her needing time to heal from her past experience, or am I misreading her level of interest in me? How should I approach this situation while honoring her pace and feelings but also being true to my own needs in the relationship?

Would love to hear thoughts or advice from others who’ve experienced something similar!

[Anonymous]

After a year you've been patient enough. This is the thing that makes me laugh at women. Women think making a guy hold out will prove his loyalty etc. And I'm not saying it's NOT a demonstration of that, it is. But most women who have the problem of guys cheating and whatnot has NOTHING to do with the length of time she makes him wait. Because a woman can make a guy wait for 10 years., him cheating on her with someone else the entire time. And this is the point. The problem is NOT the guy. The problem is SHE does not know how to evaluate good men vs. Bad men. And she repeats the same mistake of choosing bad men

This woman is penalizing you for HER stupidity. And to your credit allowed her to do it, all in the named of being sensitive to her feelings and wanting to show you're honorable. Well, leaving training wheels on a bike does not make a bicyclist better. And her not trusting you does not make your relationship stronger. I would tell her I've demonstrated my honorability to you. You either trust and believe in me now or you don't. And if you don't it's time for me to find the woman that does. Because I have needs to.

[Avicenna]

If you’re not getting what you want from the relationship, you need to tell her and why it’s a big problem. She may not be ready for the kind of relationship she wants. Make sure you address her concerns; e. g., let her know you want to be in a relationship forever if you both want the sane things from it.

[Anonymous]

As a girl who has been on both sides! It's both she needs healing and a soft firm push!

Her desire will scare her make her cry and hide! To her those feelings only mean pain! Lonely

Your choice going to take the effort or just bail? Even when married she might hate sex! My friend got divorced cause she could not. The guy was great patient but she was not ready. Now in her 30s she is over it and we'll a slut.

Being divorced now 3 kids a 4th on the way. Just her body pushed her one day and she got over it.

[Abbycado]

You need to be discussing this with her. If it is something you both can't come to an agreement and the time she needs is too much, then you break up.

I was a virgin before my current boyfriend. I flat out told him that I wanted to wait until I felt comfortable. He never pushed me or got upset.

[Selene1600000]

She likely trusts you and feels safe, which is why she’s moving slower after a bad past experience. Talk to her openly about pace and ask what she’s comfortable with instead of comparing yourself to the other guy. If your needs don’t match her timeline long-term, you’ll have to decide if you can accept that or not.

[GlowUpGirly5]

1. She's an idiot for disclosing this to you
2. She sounds like she stringing you along
3. It's been a year why haven't you proposed? You're wanting access to her body yet haven't put a ring on her finger. What's the hold up?

[marc_philos]

She met the guy online and had the encounter around the same time she and I started talking. We've never been exclusive, although I am open to it. My frustration stems from the fact that she willingly gave some random guy her body (her virginity, no less) in almost no time only to get discarded and eventually ghosted, yet here I am being all gentlemanly and ensuring that she feels safe with me and all I get is hesitation.

[GlowUpGirly5]

@marc_philos "we've never been exclusive" so why do you feel she owes you her body then? No she shouldn't have sex with you. Stop expecting things for free.

[marc_philos]

I don't feel entitled to her body, but it's mighty funny that the other guy got what he wanted with little to nothing in return.

[GlowUpGirly5]

@marc_philos It's obvious what your intentions are and she was dumb for even telling you. get over it or move on

[In_Trance]

This is retarded
Move on