Is it ok to be slow and take your time in romance and dating?

[BarryLiverstone]

Had a nice second date tonight, treated her with a zoo pass as she loves animals and dinner. Although she was very touchy and hinting she wanted to come back to my house I wanted to be traditional and serious in dating this time. I gave her a goodnight kiss and walked her to her car.

Could she become frustrated and bored with me if I didn’t pick up on her hints?

Updates

1 y

Thank you everyone for your answers. I followed up with her and asked her out next Friday to join me at a concert here in town. She said that she had a date with another guy that night and couldn’t make it. Not what I wanted to hear :(

[SteveSmith1985]

You need to TELL her that this is what you're doing. Otherwise, yes she will get frustrated.

More accurately, she'll start questioning your interest. She'll see it in every other way. So, you might get "I don't think he's physically attracted to me" or you might get her wondering all kinds of shit to account for behavior different from what she expects.

There isn't likely any issue with slowing down. Just make sure you verbally communicate what you're intending. Don't let any confusion enter the picture (enter her head)

Keep it clear, and you're all good.

🙂

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you. Was clear when we met that I didn’t wanna rush anything and have been taught to be respectful. Guess that’s the best I can do. She does know my body count and teases me about it

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea as long as she knows what's up you're fine

[BarryLiverstone]

Thanks bro. She’s in college and I worry she’s getting advice from roommates. But I’ll trust in what I see when I’m with her and move forward

[SteveSmith1985]

What are you worried her roommates are telling her?

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m worried that they are saying I’m not that interested in her because I’m not being more sexual or leading towards more physical. There is a big hookup culture at college

[SteveSmith1985]

Then just reiterate what you already told her. The problem is not the taking it slow. The problem is her possibly misinterpreting that. Just have another explicit talk about it.

You can even literally say "I don't want you to think that my taking it slow... blah blah blah" (that's what I would do. Direct cuts through all the bullshit)

But one way or another, remind her. As long as she's confident it doesn't mean you aren't interested, her roommates can say whatever they want.

Also, don't worry too much about her environment. It's going to be the girl who is the determining factor for whether or not she's into the hookup culture at her college.

If its a higher body count she teases you about, it's even more important that you reassure her.

[SteveSmith1985]

Sorry to hear she had a date with another dude. That does suck. Are you going to keep seeing her?

[IslaTheWitch]

definitely its okay... if people can't take your pace and slow down... it's a natural selection... :D

most men, when discover (even if I'm very verbose that I'm not in a hurry) that I'm not going to speed up get frustrated and sooner and later they give up... and it's exactly as it should be... if we are not compatible there is no need to force it :D

there is this one guy... he went through frustration phase ("so, I'm the only one who wanted to meet up?") but still sticks around :D

we talk, but our conversations became more relaxed... there is no pressure anymore... and I think he enjoys it as much as I do :D

[BarryLiverstone]

Glad he was able to match your pace. Thanks for saying it’s natural

[Simslover92]

It's very much okay and commendable on your part and I'm sure that she will respect and like you more for doing so. If she doesn't, then it's her loss.

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you. So you wouldn’t feel frustrated in that case?

[Simslover92]

You're welcome and not at all. I would feel like you were really trying to respect me and I would appreciate you for not wanting to take things fast like a lot of men usually do. She's probably used to guys taking things to the next level pretty quickly and wasn't used to that.

[Simslover92]

I'm so sorry about that Barry. Like I said before it's her loss.

[beldath]

The women's opinions on this question are far more useful than mine.
Slow is definitely fine. Old fashioned and proper went out the window when online dating became a thing.
More than likely, like the women here are saying, she'll like that you're taking your time.

If she seems to get a little distant after the date, I'd explain your reasoning why you didn't respond to her advances.

[Dnice1]

First off I'm happy for you and second off it is good to go slow with these things. I think it's a wise decision to do so 😊

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you for letting me know. Guess slow is ok at times as turtles will finish their races

[Dnice1]

You're welcome 😊

[TrueMystique]

I love this. I wish more guys treated dates this way. if that’s you in the photo, you are very handsome. She wasn’t the right one for you. Keep being yourself & do what you feel is right. 🤗🤗

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you

[TrueMystique]

Of course.

[fish5505_87]

Not after the second date. As long as it was done with a little tact!

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s an example of tact?