You can move too slow. What' important is to let the other person know you're interested.
I dated a woman and wanted to take it slow, which I did. We had three dinner dates and I was a complete gentleman, even though I found her very attractive. At the end of the third date, she said it was over between us because she didn't fell chemistry between us... and she has a 3 date rule. A few weeks later, I dated another woman and didn't we\want this to happen again, so I made a move on her at the end of our first date. It turned out to be the right thing to do, as we had a very nice relationship for the next few months before we decided (jointyl) to split up amicably.
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Anonymous
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There's no way to answer this because everyone's different. The repeated message I generally get from women on here is guys move to fast. But in my personal life it's been my experience that women move too fast. So either I'm very different from most men. Or women say they want one thing and do another. Honestly I think this mainly comes down to feelings and perceptions. Women want guys to profess his feelings for her, but only when SHE wants it. (Who doesn't, everyone likes to be desired). But along with that (if she's a decent person) comes responsibility for his feelings. No one enjoys rejecting someone unless they're an a**hole.
@LazerBean Half of me agrees with you and the other half doesn't. Lol. Because, on the one hand, people totally should get to know each other over a long period of time. But, on the other hand, they shouldn't be dragging their feet or feigning lack of interest if they're really interested. Anyway, just my opinion. Maybe you agree?
I do agree, and you can do both at the same time. The short term getting to know someone is so that you don't waste time with someone who is an obvious and immediate no, and the long term getting to know someone is to make sure they really are who they seem to be during the short term and weren't lying or putting on an act.
@LazerBean True! ... Or, the less cynical viewpoint: The long-term getting to know them is building a relationship! Haha. That's how I approach things. I'm a positive person! :)
Well I don't really think it's negative or cynical to try to quickly figure out if someone isn't right for you lol I'm still good friends with all the guys I talked to in the past with the potential of getting into a romantic relationship. I found out pretty quickly with all of them that it wasn't going to work out, but since there wasn't any emotional attachment, weird physical stuff, nor expectations we were able to move our relationships into the platonic zone without any weirdness. All of them were at my wedding, and I have attended all of their weddings now. It was definitely both the most efficient and the most positive way to go about things.
(Unfortunately all the chicks I "almosted" did not invite me to their weddings. I think it was because they liked me and they were hurt that I rejected them. :/ Oh well...)
Sometimes it be like that. All the guys I talked to were pretty levelheaded and good natured, were looking to marry and knew I was also looking to marry, so they understood being particular and didn't take it personally. But I know not letting them feel like we were getting serious helped a lot. The very first guy had previously gotten out of a nasty breakup, so I got to see up close how the different ways you handle a potential can make "breakup" a positive or a negative thing.
if you don't tell someone your favorite color... they could bring you gifts and presents in the color you absolutely hate and loathe... and that might be a bit more awkward than just saying "green or aqua" lol
I don’t know that there is a set speed you should move at, but you generally want things to feel upbeat and exciting. You don’t want butterflies, but you do want a feeling of fulfillment.
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