Is our relationship moving too fast?

[olmille]

Me (17 turning 18) and my boyfriend (19 turning 20) have been together for about 5 months and for Christmas 2022 he bought us a one week trip to turkey just the two of us, all inclusive. And we also plan small details of the next year together like maybe looking at apartments. Is this moving too fast?

[MaazHussain]

Whether a relationship is moving too fast is subjective and can depend on a variety of factors such as the individuals involved, their age, their values, and their life goals. However, some general things to consider are:

• The length of time you have been together: Five months might be a short time to decide to take a big trip together, but some people might feel ready to take that step earlier.
• Your age: At 17 and 19, you both are still young and have many changes and transitions ahead. You might want to consider how these changes could impact your relationship, and whether you want to make long-term commitments at this stage.
• Your level of commitment: Planning future details together can be a sign of a serious commitment. It's important to ensure that both of you are on the same page about the level of commitment and future plans.

Overall, the best way to approach this is to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns and feelings. Ask him how he feels about the pace of the relationship and what he envisions for the future. It's important to make sure that you are both comfortable and on the same page before making big decisions.

[SnowedIn]

Not necessarily too fast... but my only caution would be to not tie yourself down and by "yourself" I mean both you (just you) and you (both of you). Give yourself the flexibility to change your mind and decide you don't want to do X but you want to do Y. You don't mention college, and that's okay, but sometimes that pulls couples in different directions. My point is just to preserve the ability to go new places and do new things. Apartments and pets and other stuff very quickly tie a couple or a person down.

Finally, make sure that you have a backup plan. Somewhere to go, some safe shelter in case the relationship goes south. It might not -- that's awesome -- but have somewhere to go. Also, don't burn any bridges. There are going to be a lot of people hating on you for wanting to go to Turkey with him and for wanting to get the apartment and everything else. Be ready for that. But don't burn bridges with those people over it.

[olmille]

Thats great advice

[SnowedIn]

Well thanks! Glad to help.

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[Davey88]

I can't say.. i kinda love to know it as fast as possible if we fit good

[bowenw]

It seems quick to me if he's already wanting the two of you to live together.

[olmille]

We both want to live together but im scared that I will loose him some day for some reason, im a big thinker and thats not ALWAYS good😬😂

[bowenw]

That is always the risk with any relationship. If you live together you will quickly learn a lot about each other and may not all be good.

[olmille]

We have learned a lot about each other so far and have gotten over the small stuff we dislike and we talked it out so I hope we can do that if any more occur

[bowenw]

It sounds like you are being smart about it. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.

[olmille]

I try and be smart, I get called very grown up with the way I think and speak but I also struggle with how to deal with emotions so I can seem very over dramatic but im just trying to explain my feelings

[jjj101010]

Depends when u r planning to go, if it is soon fine but if it is a long way off the. U don’t know if u will be together

[olmille]

August

[jjj101010]

Well hopefully u r still together then

[olmille]

hope so

[Wise4myage]

Yes, Id say you are. So put off the talk about moving in together for the time being.

[Nuthouse]

Not really

[Nuthouse]

@olmille why are you scared

[olmille]

im a big overthinker

[Nuthouse]

Why’s that?

[Anonymous]

Yes. It is.

[olmille]

How come

[Opinion Owner]

International travel is something that you do after marriage.