Moving on when they aren't giving you the effort and attention they should?

[red324]

So lets say you go on 2 or 3 dates and you like the girl, but it's really hard to get her on a date and she really doesn't give you the attention you need. Does it ever help to send her a text telling her you're moving on? Just be like "hey, I like you but you don't really give me the attention I need", then just move on basically. Now with that being said Honestly, I don't need much attention, so it's more the lack of effort that bothers me and I don't like it when they play games. Does this ever do any good or not really? Maybe it's me, but I find as just an average looking guy I think it doesn't really create the excitement they probaby get out of better looking dudes.

[Summeroflove]

I think so… someone whose not putting the effort you are into a relationship that relationship will be one sided if it even goes anywhere. If you get married to someone like they you willbe DRAINED

If you put the effort into someone. You deserve someone whose willing to give it back. Don’t settle for less don’t settle for someone being entitled and demanding. But refusing to show any effort in return.

If you’re doing all the work it’s one sided. You will be miserable

[Anonymous]

It might. But your question makes the ASSUMPTION that you've already communicated what you need. Did you? If you did and this is the response what good would it do to tell her? I'm all for giving a person every opportunity but sometimes you just have cut your losses. And at that point you being pretty generous to inform them that you're moving on.

I guess what I'm saying is a lot of things in relationships come down to judgement calls.

[Valdemort]

Ask her if she's interested in continuing and what she expect from ongoing contact if she does. If it doesn't match what you're looking for, part ways.

[red324]

That's the thing about women. They'll keep leading a guy on agreeing to dates when they aren't interested.

[red324]

I remember one girl, I realized she didn't plan on showing up to dates after the first couple, so I started scheduling dates I never planned to show up for. I'd be out on the boat when I had a date scheduled at olive garden. 😂 she obviously never showed though.

[Valdemort]

You say she didn't show up, and then start doing the same yourself. That's a hypocritical way to cause a damned scenario. Just call her out and end the contact, it's not that hard.

You obviously don't know how to communicate yourself, if that's how you deal with things, lol.

I would never stay in touch with a guy if I'm uninterested, and neither would any of the women I know. On the other hand, I know many girls have expressed to not be looking for a relationship or dating - but the guy doesn't take the hint and leave women alone, so instead he keeps asking to hang out, even when she's already told him she's not looking for anything.

He'll tell her it's not a date - or only say so afterwards, only to end up getting upset when they realise she *really* isn't interested.

As always, it's a two way lane. And if you don't like the way she acts - literally... just end it?

[princeofromance]

You most definitely need to move on.

[red324]

Do they usually ever start putting more effort in when you tell them you're moving onto someone else?

[princeofromance]

Yes, but it is not because things have changed. They now realize that you are moving on and are fearful of winding up alone for the rest of their lives.

[red324]

Yeah I should learn to do this. I usually bug them to figure out where we're going with things until I get an answer and then move on. At that point they're just annoyed, i'm probably seen as desperate and I never hear from them again lol

[red324]

at least if you tell them you're moving on, they'll think you have options even if you really don't.