Is it strange that I don't have a preference for dating/marrying a person from my own ethnicity?

[Anonymous]

For some reason I never have matched vibes with a girl from my own ethnicity (Bengali). I have no problem in being friends with a Bengali woman but I can't see myself dating/marrying one.

Does that make me racist towards my own people? My parents certainly think it does lol. Thoughts?

Yes, it's racist

No, it's not.

[mattthefatbat]

Nah.


I'd say you really not alone in this, ever since I been called a fake black person or a "oreo" by my peers growing up, and or being laughed at by women from my race during those years.. and then seeing all the hood culture that some in my race are kinda proud of? It made me prefer someone not black. I can't change how im born.. but I certainly can change who I choose to be with, even if my genetics are usually seen as unnatractive and un favorable in today's society.

My parents are fine with me choosing any race even though they would have liked me to find a black woman to be with, like my father did.
It's honestly difficult finding a black woman that is genuinely not selfish, understanding, caring, forgiving, and not about loud ghetto culture that doesn't mind being with a black nerdy guy like me who frankly the ones I grew up around would call really fucking boring, and weird. The black women i have seen that aren't into all the loud culture are usually more attracted to white or mixed men. Or if they do want a black man they want a highly successful attractive body black man. So yeah it is what it is. I play the hand I am dealt.

[Zack-Bann]

Im the same way (though not bengali)
And I don’t think it’s racism.
On rare occasions I dated women from my origin but they aren’t my fondest memories
I find I get along a lot more naturally with western women in general.


I may not be a race traitor but I certainly am someone who doesn’t live by the customs of his original culture

[DishLady]

No, but you have to ask yourself why.


I say this bc I had a friend who I’ve since stopped speaking to bc he basically had no respect for women. He was living with one gal from a different culture for 7/8 years and she was starting to bug him about getting married, but the would show up to all our church or community events alone, which sent the wrong message and led to women from our shared culture throwing themselves at him. One of these women finally baby-trapped him and the live-in gal ended up trying to sue him for their home and car…. And she won.


So try to figure out if you’re not interested bc you legitimately want something else for yourself and not because you’re “trying new things” till you settle with someone from your culture… because shit happens and you’ll end up in a situation you may want even less.

[SuperJJ]

That depends on why you don't like your own race. I know some people who like very blonde or black-haired and dark-skinned guys. Everyone has their own taste.

[molonski2]

Its simply your preference and that's absolutely fine.

[SleepingHazard]

I don't think it's strange, but maybe find out why that is.

[Asker]

It's mostly cultural shock with my own people lol. I was raised outside my home state where the culture is way different. Most of my friends irl are North Indians (Punjabis) and many of my online friends are westerners. Hence my interaction with people (both men and women) from Bengal (East India) have been few. Moreover in those few acquaintances with Bengali women, we didn't seem to have matching vibe. There are too much differences and not in the opposites attract kinda way. I don't know if that makes any sense but that's the main reason for me.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why would you not want to marry a Bengali girl? I think they are very beautiful.

[NicholasRedone]

I'd prefer whiter than me, so it's cool man 😃☃️⛄

[Asker]

If the person in your dp is you... then any whiter would be albino territory. Not saying you look bad tho.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I'd also prefer a latina

[Rimaisme]

Not really