For me the difference is would you consider dating a person of that race in a healthy relationship. If you could honestly say that you would consider it, I believe that it isn't racist just preference. If your answer is I would never date anyone of that race or date them in an unhealthy way (abusive and/or demanding), then you are probably racist. Alternatively could you ever be attracted to someone of that race.
True racists would never be in a healthy relationship with or be attracted to a person of the race that they are racist against. The reason I say healthy is because they might date someone of the race that they don't like, but then abuse them. I think that those would be rare, but it could happen. Those that just don't prefer them would be in a healthy relationship in the right circumstances, but it would be harder to fulfill.
This comment only reflects the race in the physical appearance. If you bring beliefs (religion, culture) into the mix that can be a different story. For example being a devote Christian and not wanting to date a traditionalist Muslim is not necessarily racist because they can have conflicting ideas that are not able to be reconciled. That is a different rabbit hole that goes far deeper than I am going to go right now.
Most people have preferences in dating and I thinks it's fine. Race preference is similar to preferring brunette more than blondes in dating and as long it's just about finding certain physical appearance more attractive than others it's not wrong. But if it's based on prejudice like "I don't want to date X because they're annoying" it's a lot different and then it's racist. It's also racist if you refuse to date another race regardless of the individual.
Here's an example where race preference is fine. If a person has a preference for blonde people with blue eyes he would most likely date people of North-European heritage because these features are most common among them. Blonde hair and blue eyes is rarer among people from Africa for example, so it's natural preferring European looking people more than African looking people because of that. But as long the person is open minded it's fine and it's not people's fault they finds certain facial features, body builds and hair colors for example more attractive than others.
I always thought racism ran a lot deeper than just whether or not you were attracted to someone.
1. Are you denying this girl and all others freedoms and choices because of their race? 2. If you work together, are you prohibiting her from opportunities *because* of race? 3. Do you make assumptions about her because of her race? (Prejudice)
I'm thinking your answer is no to these questions. There are physical features you find attractive, and you would very likely find them in a race you typically don't date, and just don't know it yet. For example, if you absolutely love dark black hair - you will typically find that naturally within the darker-pigmented races. However, if you met a Caucasian girl with natural dark black hair, then you may forgo any race preference because you have found the physical trait you love.
I don't like it when the word racism is used so loosely, because to me in this case there are connotations of hate, prohibition, ill-treatment all associated with that word. What you're doing is experimenting with how you feel about some physical traits people have, all the while not hating a race because of it, but finding a commonality in traits that appeal to you.
Who cares what anyone else thinks about who you date? They don't pay your bills or make your life, so they don't get a vote. Hipsters and culture Nazis all think they have a right to tell people what they should think and do in their personal lives. It's bullshit.
Agreed. There is very thin line that seperates preference from racist. People love to hide behind the word "preference", when it's really racism. However, people love to call someone who chooses to date outside their race "racist". Very blurred lines..
@Naydyonov You didn't understand my point. What I mean is, if you completely refuse to date a certain race, it's racist. Like how can you say you wouldn't date someone of a certain race? You obviously haven't met every single person of that race and can't say that you won't find any of them attractive. You can find most of them unattractive but you can't completely refuse to date a race without being racist. Being racist is about prejudice against a certain race and if you refuse to date an entire race because in your experience you don't find them attractive, wouldn't that be prejudiced?
No, I disagree. I've only found 2 black women attractive in my life. So when I say I won't date a black girl then it's because I know the statistical chance of being attracted is so low that it's pretty much non existent.
+ If she's black then she doesn't have a similar culture to mine.
@Naydyonov Two out of how many? It baffles me that you have already met someone who you found attractive of that specific race yet you think that will never happen again. Do you realize how many people there are on this planet or even in Canada? You're 16. You cannot have met that many people yet that you could make that assumption.
I'm sure that there are people of your own race that have a completely different culture to yours. It's your choice if you want to date a female clone of yourself but if that's not racist then it is at least narrow-minded. What's wrong with diversity?
I dont like dark features so i won't date a black girl or Asian for that matter, sure sex is okay but its not gonna progress more, how is that racist? i like fair skin and caucasian features and iam not changing what i like.
@Z-Spark Again, preferring a certain race isn't racist. Completely refusing to date a race is racist. What's so hard to understand here?
You don't have to pursue people you're not attracted to but you can't say for certain that you would never ever find someone of a specific race attractive because you have not seen every single person of that race. Assuming that every single person of that race will be unattractive to you is racist because it's prejudiced.
One definition of racism is "the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races". Isn't that exactly what you're doing by saying that you would never find a certain race attractive?
Attractive people exist in every race but for me i would never date and marry and Asian, black or any woman that is not caucasian, do people find that racist? i really dont care its normal to want someone from the same color and backround as you that will give birth to kids that look like you , black girls who are pretty exist but i simply dont want to date them, i will treat them like any other person and be friends with them and all but i dont see myself dating and marrying one
@Z-Spark There are attractive people from all races. I have dated Mexican, Asian, Black and White people who I found attractive. But I am not really attracted to Indian or Middle Eastern men because of their personality and cultural values. So am I racist because I refuse to have sex with these people or because I don't get sexually aroused around them? Physical attraction is a huge thing. What's the point of dating them when no sex is involved because I can't be sexually attracted to them?
@WW2Aviatrix thats what iam saying you can't force yourself to someone who you dont feel attracted to... as for middle eastern men, iam from there and you should know few things : 1- not all of them are muslims and plenty have different values that are very similar to the western values 2- the arabs who live in israel, lebanon, syria and some parts of jordan aren't exactly arabs and a lot of them are mixed, they dont look the the gulf arabs and are far more good looking, trust me i have dated foreign girls before, european and American girls find middle eastern men (from the levantine) very attractive, shit iam a dude and i find some of them attractive.
@Z-Spark I think it's mostly because some are Muslim and we share cultural difference. For example, as a Christian, if I dated a Hindu or Muslim, they will force me to convert. Yes there are attractive people in every race. To me, friendship is completely colourblind. But who I bring to my bed in marriage, is subjective to me.
@Z-Spark @WW2Aviatrix See, it's different to say that it's not likely that you would date someone based on their race and saying that you WON'T date someone of a certain race. I don't know how to make it any clearer.
As @MermaidMotel said, some people hide behind the word "preference" because they don't want to admit their prejudice against certain races. There's a fine line between preference and racism. It's all about preconceptions and generalizations.
I understand that big differences in cultural values between two people can be unattractive. But let's imagine you met someone of Middle Eastern descent. They look Middle Eastern so you immediately reject them based on your experiences of Middle Eastern men regardless of their physical attractiveness. However, they were adopted to the US and raised by American parents without any connection to the Middle Eastern culture. You cannot know how someone will behave just based on their race.
@Z-Spark Do you like tanned white girls? How about fair skinned Arabs? Skin tone obviously isn't a consistent preference.
And if you like Caucasian features, consider this. White people, Hispanics, Arabs, North Africans, and Indians are all Caucasoids, meaning they all have the same facial features. The only thing that is different is the skin tone, and even then, many Hispanic people and Arabs and Turks can pass off as white.
Well if you call someone a racist for not going out with someone of a different race... I would call that shaming. It's their own business who they want to go out with. It's a preference
@WW2Aviatrix It seems like the issue is about religion more than anything else. Would you date a Christian Arab or an Atheist Indian? And many Middle Easterners look white. For example look at this guy. st-listas.20minutos.es/.../1535268_640px.jpg
That guy is actually a Turk. So if you saw him, we're attracted to him, and wanted to hook up with him, but then you found out he was from Turkey, would you dump him on the spot?
@Rissyanne Actually you're right. Honestly I don't even care whether your racist or not. If you only like white people and you hate all minorities, as long as you don't go lynching them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a racist.
However physical attraction is a poor excuse for only wanting to date certain races, since many minorities have Caucasian features and some just blatantly look white.
@Rissyanne Did you not read anything I said? I didn't at any point say that people should go out with someone who they find unattractive, be it appearance or personality-wise. All I'm saying is that you cannot rule out an ENTIRE race from the dating pool because every single person is an individual and unique.
@Tlnet No I would date him. As long as people don't convert me it is perfectly fine. I know there are attractive Indians like John Abraham and Hrithik Roshan but these confident Alpha male types aren't common in India. But if this poster's logic was true, then that means straight people who are not attracted to the same gender are homophobic. Straight people can respect and befriend gay or lesbian people but because they won't have sex with them it somehow makes the homophobic? And what about fat people?
We already had this convo in the other thread. You said that some people only find certain races attractive, and then I showed you a list of minorities who looked completely white and asked you how that argument could still be used in those cases, and you were never able to respond
@WW2Aviatrix Well not being attracted to people of the same gender or people of certain weight isn't irrational, because you can actually point out to physical characteristics that you aren't attracted to. However, the same can't be said of race, because many physical features overlap across races.
@Tlnet you are full of shit. Just because I have a preference you are going to say I am racist. By that logic... Would you go out with an 80 year old woman? Well if you don't you hate old people. Just don't go around beating up old people.
It almost feels like you are intentionally misunderstanding me. Everyone has a different definition of racism. I see no point in continuing this conversation.
@Rissyanne I wouldn't date an 80 year old because an 80 year old looks completely different from an 20 year old. However, many Hispanics, Arabs, and Turks look exactly like white people, so ruling them out is completely irrational.
@Rissyanne I'm refusing to date someone for their looks not age. If an 80 year old looked 20 (which is impossible so your argument is moot) I would date her.
If you refuse to date an attractive Turkish guy with blond hair and blue eyes, and looks white, just because he is Turkish then that's racist.
@Tlnet What about pale skin? And certain coloured eyes? I don't like rough bushy hair on men. It's a physical attribute, just like how guys have a dick and girls have breasts. It's very similar and can be compared.
@WW2Aviatrix Many Middle Eastern and Hispanic (and even Indian people) have pale skin. Many of them also have blue eyes. Hair texture isn't even a characteristic unique to certain races.
And did you see that Turkish guy pic I posted? Could you tell he was Turkish or did you think he was white?
@WW2Aviatrix the point I'm trying to make is, if for example, you are only attracted to white people, all of the physical characteristics you find attractive in white people aren't limited to just white people
@Rissyanne I never denied that people should be ae to date whomever they want. All I'm saying that it is irrational to say you only find certain races attractive when physical features overlap across races.
@Rissyanne I never told people who they should and shouldn't date.
I'm just saying there is no rational justification for why you would only date certain races, which is fine, because people shouldn't be forced to rationally justify every single decision they make.
@YHL6965... No. If you "really don't like Asian phenotypes".. That's racist. If you "really don't like white people".. that's racist. If you "really don't like black people".. that's racist. I have no idea where you came from, or why you're commenting on a conversation that settled months. You're a day late and a dollar short.
@MermaidMotel In no way finding certain phenotypical trait of a race is racist. Racism is considering a race inferior to the another. I don't see where my previous statement considers Asians as inferior beings...
@YHL6965.. Not liking a certain a race, based on their culture, appearance, beliefs, etc... would automatically mean that you believe you're culture, appearance, beliefs, etc is superior to theirs for whatever reason. Racism is defined as "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior." You are discriminating against Asians because you don't believe that their appearance, culture, belief, etc are on par with everyone else.
@MermaidMotel Beauty is a subjective concept so there will always be classifications. Basically, refusing to date and ugly person would be discrimination to your eyes? Technically it is, but it's not punishable. Racism is punishable. Do you really think we should fine people or put them in jail for not liking certain traits?
@YHL6959 How is racism punishable? It isn't. Everyone, in America at least, is entitled to their own beliefs. As long as it not hurting anyone else. Also, as you just said, not liking because of their eyes is racist, so my point has already been proven. Goodbye.
2 out of the thousands that live in Toronto and the one's I've seen in the United States, Central America, Europe. Plus the ones I've seen on TV, Youtube, Newspapers, Magazines.
It really isn't racist because I never said I'd date just any white woman as well.
My attraction is based on looks, behavior, and personality. Looks: Slavs I like Slavic women, other women not frequently. If I like non slavic women then they tend to have resembling features.
Behavior: Slavs and specifically eastern slavs tend to be serious and honest people that are fun in bad times. Blacks do not fit this from my experience. Nor do most Europeans or North Americans. A good example is with the smile. I dislike people who smile just cuz. I smile only when I'm happy and people of my culture (Russians) do the same. I find this simple aspect very important.
And personality: This one depends solely on the person but this alone will not make me interested in a woman.
I don't wish to date a clone of myself, I do however wish to have someone at least somewhat similar culturally. And I don't think it's narrow minded. I want to enjoy the hard love of Slavic women. I want my kids to enjoy walking up to her making the family traditional soup, or some desserts. The things that me and my brother, my parents, my friends (Russian), loved about our childhood.
I live in areas filled with Blacks, indians, chinese, arabs, jews, and west europeans. Yet I only have 5 friends/buddies who are non Russian (or other Eastern European) and Jewish. I was never able to be friends with non Russian Jews though I am Jewish myself. And I can only talk to Russians freely.
So yes, it is quite difficult for me to be "Diverse". And it's a bullshit argument, why should I be or want to be diverse?
by the way the 2 I found attractive would be 7/10 tops. I cannot at this moment recall the 2nd one but the first is half white.
Would I date her? Nope. I would date her character (she's an actress) in a certain movie however. Because actually in the movie her character was quite strong and outspoken.
@Naydyonov Who cares? Date whomever the hell you want to date. You won't get the death penalty. However, don't try to justify your dating "preferences" a. k. a racism/predjudice. Hardly anyone wants to hear it.
@Naydyonov This has nothing to do with you being a white male, but everything to do with you being an idiot and you writing off every argument against you as "social justice bullshit" because you can't come up with a valid argument to support your stupidity. However, I'll just take my "western" values somewhere else, since you can't seem mentally handle it.
I'm an idiot because I don't find Blacks attractive? How the fuck does one make himself not attracted to certain people? I would like to know.
I did not choose who I find attractive, I merely understand it. Don't know why there's this perception that people have to force themselves to like people they don't like.
What valid argument Do YOU have?
I have no problem with Western values, other than the fucking screaming of Diversity. Just calm down with it, everyone can feel it up their ass already.
There is a supreme difference between romantic/emotional and sexual/physical attraction, but since most men seem to only care about sexual attraction and can barely understand the difference the between the two.. Let's focus on sexual attraction, because that is what you're focusing on. You suffer from what I would like to call "through the lens" syndrome. Where you only see the things you perceive as attractive and nothing else. You assume everything outside this "lens" of yours does not harbor similar qualities, traits or attributes. You have a very romanticized view of not just Slavic women, but of the world in general and will probably never be able to see reality for what it truly is.
@MermaidMotel Here come the SJW lecturing us about how smart she is and about how pitifully idiot we are. She is certainly going to win arguments like this. After all, why be respectful of other people's opinions when you're trying to force your own point of view...
I would go into GREAT depth of just how racist you truly are, but I know it's futile and won't do any good. You seriously need some help, maybe counseling. I do wish you the best in your quest for Slavic women. However, it's 3am where I am, and I'm going to sleep.
@MermaidMotel Ehh okay.. I identified a group of people that I am most comparable with and that's it.
You're telling me as a 6 year old I was thinking "oh no she's black" ? Culture is an important thing, it affects your personality in some ways.
I cannot imagine myself speaking English for example to the woman I love. I've never imagined myself saying I love you in English to a girl. It's simply not the language I want to use.
But that's probably also racist or something somehow.
Regardless, please tell me why I or other people should actively look for people outside their culture, race, country, language, etc.
I don't agree. Obviously there is something that differs in people of different races otherwise they wouldn't be different races. If you identify a person as a certain race, that means they have something about them that causes them to be identified as part of that race. So by definition, people of different races have different identifying features. You can be turned off by one or more of the identifying features of a certain race and that can prevent you from having any interest in dating them regardless of their individual traits. If you define "racist" as someone who has an IRRATIONAL aversion to people of other races, then this would not be racist. It would be perfectly rational not to be attracted to someone of another race because you have an aversion to one or more of the features that define their race. Attraction isn't determined by fairness or politics, it's determined by animal instincts.
- Preferences - Family history - What parents want what is best for you (e. x: A Christian man marrying a Christian woman or Muslim man marrying a Muslim woman) - Most importantly, kids, how do you want your kids to be raised. I am a firm believer in God, going for prayers and etc, therefore I would not want to be with a woman who is an atheist, that's just my personal preference.
At the same time, it's perfectly fine for interracial marriage or couples to be with each other as well. E. x - A Muslim marrying a Christian. That's quite common in this world day as well.
Preferring one race over another for dating is okay. Downgrading other races isn't okay.
I prefer a certain race too. Does it mean that I hate any race? No! I'm afraid I'm a bit racist towards Arabs in this case tho. They are hot, but I don't like their culture.
When it comes to dating and relationships I believe you have the right to be a picky as you want. Dont like someone for whatever little reason you have. But you must accept that others play by these rules too. You must also accept that by being too picky you might never find someone. Tolerance is great and even in dating I believe in having some tolerance for the little things that might not be your tastes but at the end of the day its a matter of preferences and if you dont like something, anything, then you dont have to be with them.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Usually there is an undertone of racial fetishness and/or self hate with interracial relationship.
For example - Many Indian/Asian girls date white guys for their skin colour and perceived status elevation of having a white partner. In addition, Indians tend to have a caste system put in place where white skin is deemed good and may very be dating you so their kids can have lighter skin tone.
In short, a large percentage of people who tend to focus on a given race usually have a deep seated messed up reason of wanting to be with that race. Whether that reason is skin colour, status elevation, or a strong belief/stereotype of expectations of someone based on race.
If you simply find yourself attracted to the skin color and bone structure of one race more often than those of some other race that doesn't make you racist. But if you categorically dislike every member of a certain race then you probably are racist.
That's the thing: not everyone means it that way. There are a lot of people who'll say "I don't date black men because they're deadbeats" or "I don't date white women because they're entitled".
I've also heard the "I don't date X because they're ghetto" and that's prejudice. Some people also mix up race preference with culture preference, but other are just full of prejudice.
Neither skin color nor face structure are unique to any race. For example if you like white people, all Caucasoids (Hispanics, North Africans, Arabs, Indians, Turks) have the same exact face structure. The only thing that's different is skin tone, and even then it's not always true.
If you guessed white you are wrong. She is actually a Turk. Now do you see why racial preferences are silly? Physical features overlap across races.
I mean if you say you only like girls with light skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair, that's fine, but keep in mind white girls aren't the only girls with those features.
no it's not racist to only date certian races but i do beleive its racist when you single that race out in a profile. see the way i look at is that race you single out could become a friend but he or she is pushed away because of the single out comment on some profile..
No, definitely not. All races have common traits amongst them, all people have preferences, so sometimes you might just like a certain look that's common amongst a certain race. I prefer one race over all others, and I'm far from racist. Actually, I'm mixed, and one of my own races is really low on my list of what looks good to me and I'm certainly not racist to my own self.
That sounds like internalized racism, you may have some generational prejudices that likely became present due to your social environment, You may need to do some soul searching.
@Maison I won't lie, I know I do sometimes, but that isn't the reason, it's the looks. It's just not my thing. I mean, I have seen the odd one that looks good, but usually I just don't like it. As actual people, most are fine and I can get along with them ok, but looks wise they are the opposite of what I think is hot. I know what you mean though, and i know I can be like that sometimes but I do work hard to overcome it. Can hardly avoid trying to get over it anyway, it's people I'm around daily. It's just past experience can make people more wary sometimes.
You seem very aware of these internal issues that we are all afflected with. which is rare these days, I comend your honesty and respect the fact that you're open to sharing.
It's true certain features are more common among some races than others. If a person prefer blonde people with blue eyes it's more likely the person would find these features in North-Europe than in Africa and Asia for example.
to have a preference no. like if someone says i prefer and usually find myself most attracted to hispanic people but still date people of other races and backgrounds that is not racist.
but if you say you prefer a certain race and won't date people of other races that probably points to racism
It's racist if you refuse to date African Americans because they're African American or Hispanics because they're Hispanics. It's racist if you think dark skinned people are lesser people than you because their skin looks like the dirt you step on. That's racist.
What if a non-black chooses to ONLY date blacks, and refuses to date all non-blacks? Is that just as racist in your delusional worldview, or is that different?
@Rissyanne What hypocrisy? Racism is basically when you think another race is shittier than yours. I guess I should have added on **because they're African American and only 5/8s human, therefore not worth dating? Damn, like, you are the most triggered conservative snowflake I have ever seen on this site.
@TheLuckyPizzaDog you are such a hypocrite. You whine and say they're racists if they won't date blacks, but then turn around and say there's nothing wrong if they only date blacks and don't date any non-blacks. We've found the real racist here, and it's you.
@Rissyanne Uhm, no, I said that thinking a race is shitty and lesser than yours is racist. You were the one that assumed I was talking directly to you because in some way deep down, it probably does apply to you. Otherwise, the use of 2nd person is easily dismissed.
Also, I was literally stating that's what racism is. Because that's what it basically is. You came barreling in here with some in-congruent "ageism is when I don't want to go out with an 80 year old dude" like okay? That's also true, I'm not gonna date an 80 year old dude. When did I ever say it was a bad thing? When did *I* ever say that not wanting to date someone because of their race was bad at all? I was being as objective as I could, and I even gave an example of racism lol. You just wanna start some shit, I don't know why. But go ahead, cuz between you and me? You're probably more liberal than I am.
@Rissyanne Lol, did you want me to say yes? So that I would conform to your views of me being some angry liberal? Because honestly, it's a no. I don't think it's transphobic and like I've said on other posts, I'd never date a trans dude.
@rissyanne you and @GeorgeDubyaKUSH : LOL yup. you got me. I'm unapologetically racist. And guess what? There's honestly nothing you can do about it. I can be as racist as I want to.
No, not racist at all. What's racist is not giving someone a job because their black, or not allowing to buy some candy because their black. But, if you have a preference when it comes to intimacy, I would say it's particularly racist.
Racism is treating people differently based on their race. Racism is telling a Latino he can't rent from you or giving a slot at a university to a black person with lower test scores over a white or Asian with higher scores.
Whether you prefer chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or mango ice cream is merely your preference.
No, I guess some could view it as prejudice, but really it just comes down to want you want. It's not weird when you like a certain type of girl compared to another of the same race, it shouldn't be any different. It's not like you have any ill-will towards them.
You don't control what your attracted to. You choose to just not like someone because they are a different color, religion, etc... you don't choose to be attracted to someone. You are or you aren't. I am not attracted to non-white women. That doesn't mean I have any issues with any other women. I would let a black or Chinese woman suck my cock... I just don't want to kiss or fuck them.
I mean, you're attracted to who you're attracted to, so if you genuinely are or aren't attracted to specific races, that's fair. It's just a problem when a race is either fetishized, or shunned due to factors beyond strictly their appearance and you let something about their culture deter you.
NO!! someone has said that I am racist because I prefer dating men who are African-American and it is just a preference to me, it isn't like I am racist towards white men or racist towards any ethnicity! I am still completely civil to everyone and i still believe every person deserves equality and shouldn't be grouped by the color of their skin.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
It is because rejecting an entire race, millions of people only because of the race and nothing more. We have preferences but race doesn't make sense. For example I like guys with cute faces and a sweet personality and that guy could be white or Asian or black or from any other race. Every person in a race is different, appearance wise, personality wise, intelligence wise. Race is very vague, you just limit yourself for no reason.
Telling people not to stereotype an entire race and not considering the fact that a person from that race could be everything they look for in someone just because of a skin colour is forcing someone to date someone they don't want? Not rejecting a race does not mean to date anyone from that race. Just because I like white guys does not mean I want to date every white guy and that I should be forced to date any white guy. I date who I like, the personality traits I look for in a guy could be found in a guy from any race, plus appearance wise there are many attractive people all over the world.
No being attracted to/dating another skin tone doesn't make you racist, we are all one race, other's treat shades differently based on inferiority complexes. However, if you are saying that you wouldn't date people of your shade because you don't consider them attractive means there are underlying issues with self-esteem that need to be addressed, perhaps through counseling. Because not seeing the beauty in your own, is no seeing the beauty in yourself, and you should see beauty in everyone any negativity is unwarranted.
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