How do you decide whether or not to trust someone?

[msc545]

[ProbablyClueless]

Baby steps. I trust them with small stuff and see how they react when something bad happens. Honestly, I don't think I ever really trust people.

How people behave when they have the opportunity (and usually a reason) to screw you over is extremely telling. It's interesting though. I've seen people blow up over extremely small, nonsensical things. There doesn't seem to be much logic in why they do what they do. And sometimes the person who blows up is someone who gave you every reason to trust them before. A light switch just flipped one day.

My father had a business partner who self destructed a 15-year very profitable business relationship and poison my father's friendship with a woman he (my father) gave a professional opportunity to because the business partner wanted a bigger commission percentage than he was getting.

For some reason he got legitimately offended when he proposed adjusting the fee arrangement and my father said "okay, well, just draft up a proposal and we can talk about it." This was not an acceptable response, so the guy responded by shutting down communication, forming a private business relationship with the woman to steal her away as an employee, and then trying to alienate his client base against my father.

All of this drama because my father didn't automatically jump to appease someone who proposed a change, and who wasn't creating that much value to begin with.

Good riddance to both of them.

[Anonymous]

Time. I really don't trust anyone till I've known you for at least a decade. I mean I don't let you know that. I've had to tell a few acquaintances to step back that thought we were closer than we actually were. And it's not personal. I just haven't known them long enough to hold them in that regard.

[Amy10223]

Well, if I tell them a secret and ask them to keep it to themselves, and I find out later that they didn't, there goes the trust. In love matters, I can trust someone if they have never cheated, kept our lives private, and they show they can be trusted with things. Loyalty.

[dustybiker2]

Actions speak louder than words. But people are allowed to have an off day from time to time when life gets difficult. We are human.

[exitseven]

Since my best friend died last year I only trust my wife.

[goaded]

I'm sorry about your friend, but you also trust a lot of people who don't deserve it.

But this isn't a politics question, so please just accept my sympathies.

[exitseven]

@goaded I also trust Mr Smith and Mr Wesson

[RealMarek]

I look for clues in behavior and for consistency over time.

[slatyb]

By reputation, if they are known to friends. Otherwise bit by bit. It takes a while before we should trust someone with something dear to us.

[Iamcoming]

Him/ her position for me. If they nice peoples for me ı want trust