If you question your choices?

[xkildy]

When you have sex before you get to understand someone, then you marry then 18 years later you regret that. What do you do? I have no intention of leave for green grass as they call it. Nor due my kids deserve a 2-household thing. Just looking for some advice

[DishLady]

You're getting to the age where midlife crisis is a serious thing. You're probably just feeling the beginnings of that. If you look inward and work on recollecting why you're with your wife... why you love her and connected her etc. Why you've been with her nearly 20 years... that's a big deal and you'll see this more clearly. You have kids together, which is great, but don't use the kids as the "excuse" to stay together.

[SweetJoyGirl]

That is not enough detail to help you.

Why do you regret it?

[xkildy]

Though the years everyone will change and along as you put out the effort of keeping up with that change life can be easier if not more fun. So though the years of life and change. We are still strong and happy so to speak. when I son was born I was overjoyed its been 5 years in to the marriage she had a young boy. I thought yes I am a farther now i get to teach my son like my dad was with me. Boy was I wrong

[SweetJoyGirl]

You can’t teach him?
Is she doing something that you don’t like? Different ideas in raising the child?

[xkildy]

As a family you talk things out right. Yeah, that happens all the time I express what i want for our son and she's like ok. No worries Lets do that together. But when he does something wrong and the mother is there, I try to correct him (without yelling) or violence. She Jumps all over me for it. Then since the child sees that he responds with his own actions. I tell her late without him around that's not good that's not how you teach a kid to respect me. That is telling them it's ok not to listen to me.

[SweetJoyGirl]

So, she wants to raise a brat and you don’t.
Sounds like you both need to sit down and come up with a good parenting strategy.

[xkildy]

"I'm facing a tough decision involving a personal matter and could really use some advice. I'm feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. If you could please talk in private

[xkildy]

True, I agree we have talked about this before and may times that this happens, *my mom* sees it and says to her. Hey your not helping your kid out by doing that. So things die down a little but still each time I try to correct she does something like that just disregards my Fellings on the matter completely

[SweetJoyGirl]

Ok, have a private conversations and tell her you can’t keep going like that. Explain that you both need to agree on a strategy.

[xkildy]

Yep, did that, She finally stopped messing with my parenting, Then she found a new way, She no stop buys for him, Each time they walk in to the store he gets something. (what does he doe) Plays with it for 2 mins then goes back to this phone (that I did not get for him). Each time learning that all he has to do is be bought off. I told her thats not how you teach a boy how to deal with things. ( does she listen yeah, Does she appply it, NO, Now even when he is not in the store with us, She buys him something. I;m like OH. whats that (did he do something good). Then she defends her decision.

[SweetJoyGirl]

So, sit her down and be firm.

[xkildy]

Needless to say that was years ago, I still can't figure why she would do that. We were great sex was good I felt a connection but. that all ended after she started treating me like a person who joined the family not one that made the family. like I said years ago

[SweetJoyGirl]

So, this has been going on for years?
What do you think you should do, then?

[xkildy]

She is stuck in her ways, and I don't care much about it all. Just wanted to tell some strange about my thoughts and feelings. Like it matters but still none the less <3

[SweetJoyGirl]

Well, it hope things work out one way or another. 💜