He sent me flowers for Valentines Day then ghosted me?

[Anonymous]

I met this man on a dating app. We had some wonderful phone conversations and I definitely liked our conversations and felt like he was a warm soul. He immediately planned a date based on our first conversation but then cancelled it on the night before the date... he never rescheduled but said he would. He would then send me random messages here and there. He then disappeared for a two weeks then called me randomly to tell me he was MIA because he had a business partner stealing money from him so he was pre occupied with legal stuff. We had a great phone conversation as usual then he went MIA for a week or so, he then asked to send me flowers for Valentines Day, I got them and they were beautiful. But ever since sending them he's been pretty cold. He told me he is going through something and is sad etc, I asked him what was wrong and he did not share. Now so far he rarely responds to text or is super slow to respond. Also he is extremely successful, so his schedule is jam packed. I am 26 he is 40. He is not legally married to anyone. Please help.

[Anonymous]

He's either too busy and you're wanting more than he has to give. Or this is his M. O. with every woman. I have a friend who has a friend that owns several restaurants. He does this sort of thing to. But his entire life is knowing how to play people just right. So he'll be sweet, send a woman flowers, plan a date, then cancel at the last minute to go to a game with one of his boys.

Again I'm not saything it is the latter possibility. But even if it is the former, does that really make it any better? Life is about balance. Balancing relationships with your professional life.

If it were me. I'd tell him you appreciate the effort he's put forth. And you're not trying to be demanding. But I think I want more than you're able to give me right now. He's either going to determine from this that he's going to lose you. And increase his efforts or his going to decide to cut you loose. Either way, you have your answer.

[Asker]

Can I just say I absolutely love how you articulated that from a grown man’s perspective. Thank you so much for this. I may add he’s an attorney, developer AND a pilot trainer simultaneously………….. he has a very very aggressive work life and I loved the gesture especially since we barely know eachother and there are some men who are with their wives for years and won’t even get them a bag of Eminem’s. I just don’t like the fact that he hasn’t scheduled an interview person meet yet after the last cancellation. It’s been 3 weeks since he cancelled. He texts to check in here and there but that’s about it. It’s weird cause on our phone conversations it’s not awkward and feels like we knew eachother in a past life which is the only reason I haven’t said anything yet.

[Adogdog]

I would find a good guy your age and not someone who is 40.

[Asker]

I don't date men around my age, it is not and will NEVER be my preference.

[Adogdog]

Then you will likely continue to have the same problems as you were talking about. An old man is not going to treat a young girl with respect. He only wants one thing from her.

[Asker]

Thats incorrect and bias. Young men will dog you out the same way an older man would if not worse with nothing to show for it.

[Adogdog]

Probably nothing to show it anyway lol

[Asker]

Its true, young men only want to play video games in their moms basement.,

[Adogdog]

A lot of them yes, I'm not like that though.

[Anonymous]

There are two fails in this question. If you can't figure this out, perhaps you are not ready for dating.

[Asker]

This is actually why I prefer to have men answer. Women tend to be extremely rude and condescending. I thought this was girls ask guys, I dont need a rude woman who is passive aggressive (as most women usually are) answering.

[Valdemort]

Aside from flowers, he's also sending red flags.

[Asker]

Can you share?

[Iron_Man]

Sounds like he’s got a girlfriend somewhere