Guy’s behaviour?

[Anushkaaa]

I have this guy, so actually, this guy is very reserved and kind and doesn’t get angry, so one day I was in a good mood and I texted him to prove 4+4=9 and now he said “ what is it?” I gave him the question again and he said “I asked….. what are you trying to tell me? I know it’s not about 4+4=9” and then he had an argument and then he blocked me, and long ago I said to him”I trust you” and till the day we had that argument he was lingering on it, and asking me why? I said to him and moved on , but he was still lingering and then after the argument blocked me? What was going on in this guy’s mind? Pls help

[SueShe]

You probably got him annoyed with your math question.

Apparently, this guy is not as reserved as you may think otherwise he would have acted differently. He probably did think that you wanted something else from him than just a complicated math question.

You not giving him the answer he wanted or expected, got upset over your lack of honesty. One does not just ask such a question without a valid reason behind it. He was trying to find the reason why you would ask him that math question but you failed to satisfy his curiosity and that is why he blocked you.

[Anushkaaa]

No, I actually told him that it was for fun, and if he didn't to continue, then he can I am not forcing him, but then he argued even more and then you know what happened. Anyways , why he was still lingering on the statement "I trust you" even when I said to days ago, and moved but he was still stuck there and confused?

[SueShe]

Could be that there was something about that statement that disturbed him and he needed to get it out.

[Anushkaaa]

oh, okay, alright, thanks for sharing for views

[Anushkaaa]

and he pass by each other, even made eye contacts but we aren't talking to each other. He looks at me resentfully, but we aren't talking.

[SueShe]

Then something that you did or said must have upset him to such an extent that he is ignoring you and probably wants to punish you for whatever reason. This is not really a behavior of a person that is supposed to be mature.

But you know that a male of 16 has the same maturity of a boy of 14. There is about 2-3 years age maturity between a woman and a man in that age group.

[Anushkaaa]

well, one of my friends said to say sorry to him, and make the conflicts resolve, but I think there is no point of explanation. Well, I am behaving normal as if nothing happened, and am laughing and smiling with my friends he was looking at me. I also don't want to show him that I care. so should I say sorry or just let it be?

[SueShe]

If you did not insult him or say something that could be misunderstood or in any other way condescend or make him look bad, then there is no reason for you to apologize. He should be the one to apologize to you for his childish behavior.

[Anushkaaa]

I insulted him a lot in a fit of anger, but really should I go and apologize (I never go and apologize to anyone) and he too blocked me, am not going to apologize and ask him to unblock me, because isn't it a kind of begging?

[SueShe]

Apologizing is a strength of character. If you never apologized to anyone before, that means that you think that you are always right and that's... wrong.

[Anushkaaa]

okay... I will apologize, as I don't want to leave things bitter. Maybe the misunderstandings may also get resolved, I try for it tomorrow, and tell you what was his reaction

[SueShe]

That's a good way to solve the problem. I am proud of you that you will do that and hope it will settle the entire misunderstanding. Good luck.

[Anushkaaa]

Thanks !

[Anushkaaa]

HEY! Yesterday, I felt to talk to him and this is how it went "Hello, Svaroop. I am sorry for the last time". He replied "I was thinking the same i am also sorry" I replied to him "are u sure? you are not mad at me right now?"
And then he said "Nope not at all"
I am leaving things here, I will let this unfold naturally. If it's meant to be this relation will surely reach to a good level.

[SueShe]

Well, I am happy for you for the positive development of that situation. Good for you. Hope this has a positive ending.

[Anushkaaa]

thanks for your opinions!

[Anonymous]

I'm not completely sure about it but maybe there is a probability that he misunderstood your questions or might had joined it with his other supposition.

1) First reason could be that he might had misunderstood this question as some double meaning questions. For example 7 7 = 88. Which is a double meaning sexual type joke.

2) Second reason could be that he misunderstood you asking questions as some kind of you making fun of him and telling him to prove himself as stupid because if he will prove that as you said then you will say he is stupid as it's impossible but still he did it so he is stupid. Or if he won't do so then also you will say he is stupid because he isn't able to do so.

So I feel like maybe he got confused with your questions and it made him frustrated to understand your intention. And maybe he thought too much behind your simple playful joke and so he just chose better to avoid you.

[Anushkaaa]

Umm... most probably your second reason could the answer to my question, and yes I was dropping hints at him, and he was very confused, (he told me), and didn't knew how to respond maybe as of this he took this step. do you think it will become normal between us like before, or it will never ever again be the same? and anyways why he was still lingering on the statement "I trust you" I said to him days ago, and eventually I moved on too, but he was still there stucked and confused, whyyy?

[Opinion Owner]

As you mentioned that he is a reserved guy. So it means that he do think a lot and even a small statement like "I trust you" matters a lot to him and he always tend to search intension or the true meaning behind any things done or any statement told. He can't simply see things on surface only.

So yes it's very normal for him to get confused if he is unable to find any such reason behind such things even when there isn't any such deep or hidden meaning existed in that.

Yes it can get normal again. If he is able to accept it and willing to understand that it's your nature to talk like this and you don't have any secret meaning behind each and every statement of yours and if he gets comfortable with it.

But I feel like it's more about difference in nature and behaviour. He may feel more comfortable with the person having similar personality like him. Who is also reserved and deep thinker like him as both can understand each other better. With such person they feel more comfortable.

Sometimes some people become reserved kind just because they are unable to understand the normal people, normal talks, the rules of such societies where there is actually no rules. Then they limit themselves only upto how much they can understand the outer world. And they limit their interactions with the people they are unable to understand.

So if you want to create a good bond with him then you should go slow, give him time. You should try to understand him, that what kind of person he is first, what is his value, with keen observation. It could be frustrating for you too as you have to suppress your true nature for time being so you could not scare him.

Sometimes for some people like such it is scary to deal with people whom they are unable to read/understand. I hope you can understand what I mean by saying that.

[Anushkaaa]

Yes, i understood! I will maintain from him for now, if he wants to come, I would gladly welcome him back and it he doesn't then also it's good, maybe we aren't for each other.

[Anushkaaa]

and as for the personalities, we are exact opposite of each other, I mean in every terms we are opposite. I tried to be patient with him, but he was so unreactive and unexpressive that I had to (I knew I was wrong but there was no way), and now I left everything on him, becoz if again I reached out to him, and if he got enraged, then it would get worst, so I should let it be as it is, some things become fine with time

[Malriarch1990]

He is being weird. Despite all his good qualities, he is justifiably paranoid about the communication due to how other females are nowadays. Let it and him go. If he won’t talk to you, then it’s over.☹️

[Anushkaaa]

okay, you are right, I should let him go, no point of chasing him

[Anushkaaa]

and Thanks

[Wise4myage]

Maybe he's just really bad when it comes to math, lol.

[Anushkaaa]

He is an engineering guy, lol🙃

[Anushkaaa]

help me seriously!! don't even joke about it

[Wise4myage]

Have you tried asking him?

[Anushkaaa]

about what?

[Anushkaaa]

and we pass by each other, even made eye contacts but we aren't talking to each other. He looks at me resentfully, but we aren't talking.

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time

[Anushkaaa]

Yes you are right 😅 but I don't know what happened to him, and also I don't face that coward.

[In_Trance]

Doesn't matter what happen to him. Move on and find someone who really wants to be with you

[Anushkaaa]

okay!!! thanks for advice 👍