How commonly are guys accused of bringing out the worst in a girl in an abusive relationship?

[Anonymous]

She would hit me and call me horrible names and then in the end said I caused this by bringing out the worst in her but the thing was I don’t feel like many people would have tolerated as much as I did I constantly showed grace and tried not to see that as her true character but because of her trauma

[Nikki1989]

Abuse is fundamentally about power and control. By blaming the victim, the abuser maintains control over the narrative and avoids taking responsibility for their actions.

[Anonymous]

Probably not common at all. Sounds to me like she's just physically abusive, possibly unhinged, and just trying to justify her actions. If you're that bad why is she even with you? She sounds very toxic.

[Asker]

Yeah there were points in the relationship where I had to barricade the door from her and her sister. So at least that was a first line of defense if they tried to harm me in my sleep and I could awake and react quick enough