How do I date when I feel so hopeless about having no dating experience at 31?

[Anonymous]

Like the question title says, I'm 31 and have no experience with dating or relationships. I just feel so hopeless about my dating prospects at this point because of it. Almost everyone has had at least a couple of relationships by their 30's and have had plenty of sex by the time they reach this age group as well. Most women find a man with no dating experience in his 30's to be a major red flag and are very turned off by inexperienced men. Most men with no experience find themselves stuck in a catch-22 where women won't date them because they have no experience and the only way they can get that experience is by dating women, which they are unable to do because they don't already have experience in the first place. I reached this point with no dating experience because I never had enough confidence to date when I was younger, so to this day I have never asked a girl out or even for her phone number. But it seems like I will get rejected regardless of the reason for the lack of experience because its just that much of a turn off. However I'm not a virgin since I've had 2 one night stands from the girl initiating them. But now I feel even less confident to date than ever before because I have this issue surrounding inexperience weighing me down. Should I just accept being alone forever at this point?

[RedThread]

Gotta start somewhere. You gotta be your own advocate and just go for it. You will stumble and fall a lot but that just comes with experiencing new things. Each time will help you grow into a more complete person and you'll succeed more in your romantic prospects. I believe in you.

[Asker]

Thanks, I needed to hear that. My biggest concern is if any girl I go out with brings up the subject of past relationships and dating history. I would probably refuse to talk about it should that be brought up, but not in a way that's defensive like I'm trying to hide something. More by just setting a boundary and saying that I just want to keep the past in the past for now and we can talk about that sometime later, ideally after there's a higher level of emotional investment so she won't run away just because of that. Who knows if this will actually work though.

[RedThread]

You're welcome. Remember, there's no shame in how you've lived your life until now. You're perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Well you start by not telling women this. Your dating history is none of her business. If she asks change the subject. If she asks again just don't answer.

Secondly stop worrying about this. It really makes no difference. Women that tell you it does are NOT the women you want to date anyhow. Because if she needs to compare you to other men you're better off without her.

[NicholasRedone]

Therapist or coping mechanisms my man - join the club, I'm 30, you're not alone man - on the plus side - our smiles through our shortcomings, will mean less wrinkles 😶😶😶🫠

[Nikki1989]

Better late than never.

[Asker]

Feels like women are forcing it to be never though.

[Anonymous]

not unusual case

[Asker]

Yeah men reaching their 20's and 30's with no dating experience seems to be getting more common these days.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah i can believe that