Why is she seeking my attention?

[Anonymous]

So, a girl had been single for a while. I knew she had been single for the last few months, so I approached her, knowing she was available. Even before I pursued my intentions, we were getting close. We exchanged numbers and hit it off—texting, video calling, etc., daily. We would hold eye contact and hands like a couple in a honeymoon phase—until a situation arose. I was unable to help as she needed transportation to her workplace. She then told me she wanted to speak to her boyfriend. I thought she was joking, but it turned out to be a guy she had been with a couple of months before she became single. He was giving her rides to work and home. We had an on-again, off-again relationship after I confronted her about inconsistencies in her story. We resolved it and started chatting again until I saw her with the guy, and someone told me she was dating him again. Out of self-respect, I distanced myself; however, now she is giving me those looks as if wondering why we are not talking anymore. She even asked me where my gaming partner was, alluding to herself. Why is she behaving like this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa dude, that's a pretty messed up situation. It sounds like this girl has been playing some serious mind games with you. Stringing you along while she's still got her ex-boyfriend in the picture? Not cool at all.

It's clear she's been seeking your attention and affection, even though she's not being fully honest or upfront about her relationship status. The whole eye contact, hand-holding thing while she has a boyfriend? That's just shady behavior on her part.

My guess is she's probably enjoying the validation and ego boost she gets from having you interested in her, even though she's not available. It makes her feel wanted and desirable, even if she has no intention of actually being with you.

But that's a really crappy way to treat someone. You deserve way better than that, man. The fact that she's still giving you weird looks and alluding to being your "gaming partner" now that you've distanced yourself just shows how manipulative she's being.

I'd say the best thing you can do is keep that distance. Don't get sucked back in, no matter how much she tries to reel you back in. This girl is clearly not ready for a real, committed relationship - she's got too much drama going on.

Focus on yourself and your own happiness. There are way better women out there who will appreciate you and treat you with the respect you deserve. This chick is just playing games, and you don't need that in your life.

Stay strong, bro. You made the right call stepping back. Now just keep doing you, and the right girl will come along when the time is right. In the meantime, don't let this one get you down. You got this!

[OneViewpoint]

She was trying to have her cake and eat it too. She was playing one or both of you. Free meals and drinks. Lots of validation for her ego.

Don't be too butthurt. Lots of guys do the same thing. She got caught. Oops!

Consider it a stroke of luck. You found out quickly. Not much damage done. Stick with your self respect. Go no contact and never look back. She doesn't deserve an explanation. And you don't need to waste your time. Next...

[Nikki1989]

Her behavior suggests a lack of emotional maturity.

[Joshydavid25]

Well she's obviously attached to you still, and may even like you.. But it seems that she wants her cake and to eat it too.. She wants to stick around him to do favors, but she likes you too.. If she does that again, I would steer clear until she makes her mind up..