Do guys actually want to be a stepdad?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

Not as a first choice if your asking in the abstract. But if I met the right woman, then sure.

Nobody is going to say yes until there is an actual woman who he actually likes who happens to have a kid. THEN you'll get a real answer. I'm not at all saying every guy would want to. But I think a lot more would than you think. They just aren't talking about a woman they really like.

So I worry that you may get some misleading answers here. More guys would be fine with it... if faced with the actual situation (and a woman they thought they had some connection with).

🙂

[Summeroflove]

This depends on the man if a man isn’t wanting to be a step dad it’s not always personal or rejection as a human being.

Look, understand all single moms situations are different. There are some rotten apples that spoil the bunch that’s for sure but every situation is a case by case basis. Some may have left abusive relationships and for the sake of their kids they left. Not because they intentionally chose those type of men (which some do) but because they seemed amazing at first but as time goes on you seen their true colors and especially having children removed themselves form that situation. It happens to men all the time too… Where someone only seems great for a while.

[DishLady]

MHO!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Nikki1989]

The more mature and secure ones wouldn't mind it. Any man who says no to that are the ones you should avoid dating anyway. Huge red flag!

[DishLady]

Seems like you’re fishing for a guy to say “Yea absolutely!” and arguing with each guy who tells you otherwise….

[Asker]

Not at all. I just asked a question

[ohsheeT]

When you love someone. When you marry her. Some times there are extras. Lol you sign up knowing she come as a package deal.

Are if you love her you take it on and be the best you can be at it

[Anonymous]

It's not ideal. Whether you want to hear it or not, whether you want to accept it or not, most single moms are single moms for a reason, of her own making. So a guy knows that to join with her is to join with her chaos. A GOOD man doesn't want to start something he's not going to be able to finish. And the REALITY is no matter how long his with her and that child. He'll NEVER be the blood father of that child. So that duty as a father figure to that child (assuming that's what's asked of him, because not every situation is the same) can be ripped away from him at any time. No guy wants to invest years only to be told that. It's just easier and more sensible to find a woman who is not a single mother.

If GOOD MAN loves a woman he loves her entirely that includes her offspring even if they aren't his blood.

[Zack-Bann]

Biologically: no. They don’t


But some men can’t have kids so the option becomes a lot more tempting


I for one know that it’s something I couldn’t do
To truly love a child as your own they need to share your features to some extent


Sounds stupid but it’s how parental affection works

[CrisboOx]

According to what I, along with many of my male friends think, no. As a father, you want to raise your children with values you believe should be instilled in them. And as men, we know that these values can vary from one man to another. This can place you in a somewhat uncomfortable position, as the biological father's values might conflict with yours.

[Asker]

What if the bio father only has every other weekend custody aka he's not around as much?

[CrisboOx]

It doesn’t matter. The biological father is still involved in the child's life, one way or another.

[Asker]

I think because you're young you feel this way. Once you get older your stance on this will probably change. What if it's just one child?

[CrisboOx]

That could be one reason. But again, I’m simply pointing out, according to my beliefs, why men might be hesitant about becoming stepfathers. As a father of a young child, I wouldn’t like the idea of another man being the father of my child. Although I believe that in some cases, this might be necessary, overall, it’s not a great feeling. And this goes for any number of children.

[Asker]

I respect your opinion. It don't seem like it is a problem for most guys because they date single mothers.

[CrisboOx]

Dating a single mother doesn’t mean they want to be stepfathers. I don’t think most men date single mothers with the intention of becoming stepfathers to their children. They might be hesitant or generally uncomfortable with the idea of being a stepfather, but in the end, it might be worth pursuing to them. You have to distinguish between actively wanting to be a stepfather and accepting the role because you feel you have to. And I don't think most men do it for the former.

[Asker]

I see. Most guys accept it because they understand that to date the woman it's a package deal with the kid (s)?

[CrisboOx]

That’s what I believe in general, although I might be wrong. If I were put in a position to become a stepfather, I would be hesitant. I’m speaking from my personal perspective and based on the views of men who are close to me.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I dont see how anyone would want that as a goal if they can have their own kids, maybe it's common within infertile people?

[Asker]

Then why do guys do it?

[ChicoFromThe305]

I would assume they fall in love or learn to care for that specific family but I'm saying nobody that isn't in a specific situation is like "one day I wanna be a stepdad" like some future goal, it's only thought of when someone is already together with someone that has a child or found a child they care for that isn't biologically theirs

[ImalwaysrightOK]

No chance. Real men don't raise another guy's kid.

[Asker]

Really?

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Yes really.

[masterSir]

Depends on the situation. In my case yes. Her daughters had a crush on me

[scott04sa22]

Some do, some don't. it depends

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

guys would do or be anything if she's hot enough

[HelpfulWoman]

some do

[Cyrus000]

No. Not really

[Asker]

Why don't they?

[Cyrus000]

Because they don't want to raise another man's kids

[Asker]

Even if it's 1 kid? Do you think the census is that guys your age feel this way but older guys don't?

[Cyrus000]

Yes, even if it is 1 kid. Maybe older, more desperate guys may step up. But your pool will be pretty small.

[Asker]

Why is it common for guys to be step dads if only older desperate guys step up?6

[Cyrus000]

It isn't that common. The majority of the men that "steps up" are desperate men.

[Asker]

It is more common than you think because most single mothers either get married or date after breaking up with their child's father.

[Cyrus000]

They date mostly, sure. There are reasons for that. Drop a message if you want to have a convo about this instead of filling up the comments section

[Ariesman81]

Nope

[Asker]

Then why do they do it?

[Ariesman81]

A compromise between want and need.

[Asker]

What is the want and what is the need?

[Ariesman81]

You wanna snag a stepdad for your kid? Be the best woman he's ever been with and don't ask for shit in return. It'll be a deal no man can turn down. Be of service to him.

[jahaims]

Nope