What’s something that used to not be a red flag but is now?

[Summeroflove]

[Zack-Bann]

Excessive self love


I used to admire people who know know how to take care of themselves physically and emotionally


But experience showed me that when you take that to the extreme you’re placating fragility and insecurity and you turn into a toxic narcissist.


How to tell when it’s the case:


“You: hey wanna grab food today?
Your partner: no thanks I’m tired and would rather chill on my own”
Fair enough. No problem


“You: hey i have these concert tickets for tonight, one night only, favorite band, wanna go?
Your partner: no thanks I need to recenter my zen”
That’s selfish and toxic. If you care about someone you suck it up a little when it’s an outstanding circumstance like this

[fartingspinster]

Yeah i never understood the consistent boundary setting of needing to be alone (even with friends). I had one friend overwhelmed with work and boyfriend's BM court stuff, and she'd want my company but also shut down any suggestions of fun things to do. One time even got up and said she needed to sleep early and ended up just watching the same show we were watching toghether in bed alone... dont have people over if you just want to be alone lol.

People need to learn to take 10 min to do intensive grounding or meditation and then go out and socialize or spend time with a friend or spouse. Otherwise... its just antisocial and you aren't working on relationship skills

[Zack-Bann]

I agree
And that’s not to say everyone HAS to have a social life

But once you commit to a form of relationship you should see it through and reciprocate the effort you’re reciprocated

[fartingspinster]

Agreed - its a social contract if you will 😅😂

[ProbablyClueless]

Specifically how manicured her social media presence is. More generally, her social media behavior.

I used to not particularly care about how women used social media because online behavior isn't real life behavior. But I've since learned that the way a woman uses her social media says a lot about who she is as a person.

There is 100% definitely a "right" way to use social media. You have to find a woman whose social media behavior lines up with your's.

[Iquestioneverything]

Telling a woman her only purpose is to cook and clean and raise children

[Summeroflove]

Women who only have a ambition to do those things will end up in a miserable marriage with a woman who wants a easy life.

Women who are stay st home moms do a lot more then just do those things. These men deserve what they get when they marry a lazy bum. That’s all I’ll say

[texasman2002]

Well lots of women hate men nowadays so that’s a red flag

[Summeroflove]

If someone’s sexist forget it. Makes no sense why people who claim to hate the opposite sex still even date

[texasman2002]

And if they do love men they have unrealistic standards for most of us

[NicholasRedone]

Hmm.

Men with feminine habits - plush toys lol 🧸 😜 at my age? 😅 Sure I own some carebears + that I bought in the last two years alone + duh duh duh ⛈️⚡ 👀👀 😮‍💨🙄

[masterSir]

Feminism, when you realize the truth.

[Summeroflove]

Some feminists are young and brainwashed until they grow up and see what it really is. Many feminists don’t want equal rights they want special rights.

Even when it comes to dating. Most are narcissists they have a list of demands on what a man should do. But nothing should be expected of them.

[fartingspinster]

That's a good way of saying it... special rights. I like that ahah

But I dont think it makes them a narcissist for being demanding and expecting lots of things. It just makes them unrealistic with double standards

[Summeroflove]

@fartingspinster well that’s how most narcissists act.

[fartingspinster]

Narcissits won't just demand things and expect lots of things - thats just a pampered soul.
Narcissits will bully you into doing what they want and make you feel like crap if you feel their demands are extreme. There's a different layer to it.

[Summeroflove]

@fartingspinster and you’re right about that too but most people with empathy don’t like things to be one sided. Narcissists do this they feel entitled.

When you need something or want something from them. You may as well mever even ask. But they will guilt trip you. They will become angry. They will withhold what little affection they give. Especially sex…. Many people stay for the sex. Until even that becomes fewer and farther in between

[Summeroflove]

@fartingspinster so people also just bend over backwards to keep them happy. Even if they’re sacrificing their own happiness

[fartingspinster]

I agree with everything you said, except that empaths dont like things to be one sided. I realize you said people with empathy, but even then... if you push anyone into a corner whether its all in their head or not, they will react very emotionally and will not be reasonable at all. They are in a fight or flight mode and dont care for anyone but themselves at the moment... thats very one sided.
Many normal humans experience this until they calm down, but some empaths can't bring themselves down from that corner because they've been hurt so often. And narcissists I feel are in that position permanently...

[Shiprex]

Being a man these days is pretty toxic

[MikeTheBartender]

Lack of close friends.

[Anonymous]

I don't like passive/submissive girls, I like them dominant ;)

[zagor]

Someone who STILL supports Trump.

[itsannalee]

Human

[Dreamclouds]

Ehh its not that bad, but yeah humanity not even close to its peak atm so much hate, egoism etc

[Jamie05rhs]

Being considerate.